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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Mar 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: 5. I love God. Fornication pi$$es Him off. I don't want to brass off the Almighty. He's my buddy...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: 5. I love God. Fornication pi$$es Him off. I don't want to brass off the Almighty. He's my buddy.
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I loved everything you said, but this was probably my favorite part of it. At the end of the day, when I am struggling with Chastity in my personal life this is what I try to remember.

This whole conversation has been awesome though, I have definitely come away with some ideas to incorporate into my own life, and a renewed desire to win the struggle and maintain a pure life. I was recently talking to a guy, not from here we met in RL, and he was stunned/appalled to discover that at the age of 26 I was a virgin. He seemed to think it was abnormal and drew the erroneous conclusion that I must be a lesbian because of it. That had me a bit down on myself for a bit, but then I felt the urge to log on here, found this conversation and now I am renewed. The Lord is very good for I am sure it was His prompting that brought me here.

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Mar 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Tom-112790 said: well at least you didnt mention second base
(Quote) Tom-112790 said:

well at least you didnt mention second base
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Have no fear, Tom: her statement about third base applies to second base as well. And first.

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Mar 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Some think that we can have a civil and charitable conversation about the important issue of chastity...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Some think that we can have a civil and charitable conversation about the important issue of chastity in this room. I said I would put something up and see if that is indeed possible!

So, what is your best piece of advice to an adult trying to live a chaste and pure life?

"More souls go to Hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason. " --Our Lady to the children at Fatima

How can we as adult (not teenaged) Catholics help ourselves to save our souls from the sins of impurity?

I will go first:

Wear on your person a blessed sacramental at all times. The miraculous medal, the brown scapular, a crucifix (not a cross, a crucifix). Wear it always, not taking it off for anything. There is grace and power in sacramentals, and it is a physical reminder of to Whom you belong, and Who has given you this body, and Who dwells within you.

If you are tempted, you will have to, as an act of your will, physiclaly remove this sacramental if you are to proceed with whatever you were going to do. It will be a physical sign that you are separating yourself from God, that you are doing it willingly, with full knowledge. That's enough to give you pause and a chance to change your mind.

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Hi Pat,

I think this is a fantastic topic and one that we as adults should be able to discuss openly. While I have not encountered a moment yet when this might be a problem, I have pondered it, because it is possible that it will come up. Being widowed I think adds a different perspective to this, as I have and very much enjoyed all aspects of the marital life, including the conjugal. But, this is how I think of it:

Sexual intimacy is a beautiful, physical expression of both love and surrender to one's spouse. It is the unique language of love between spouses. And most importantly it is a gift. The ultimate human gift of spouses to each other and as a gift, I want it to be the purest, deepest, most beautiful gift I have to offer.

I am not afraid of my sexuality, nor my sexual thoughts nor my desire to embrace that language and I know that using that language outside of its most perfect and ordained place results in a diminished expression, a mere facade of what it is truly meant to be. As a result, it cheapens the expression, the language becomes confused and our expectations are unmet.

I've mentioned in a post on another thread how we brought this up with the teens during a lesson on sexuality. We went to Dillard's Department Store bought three men's dress shirts in the package the ones with all the pins and clips and collar holders lol. We had them gift wrapped. Then at the beginning of class we handed two of them out and let the kids open them, then put them on, pass them around, try them on and pass them around again. When they were nice and rumpled and out of whack, we picked one boy and a one girl and said, okay, now put them back exactly as we gave them to you. Of course they couldn't, the wrapping paper was ripped, the bows were squashed, the shirts wouldn't fold back and getting the pins put back and the clips etc. So when they were done, we set them in front of them and took the third one that had not been opened, and said okay, your sexuality is a gift, its a gift meant to be shared with one special person your mate, the person you love and respect more on this earth than any other one --- which gift would you rather give to that person. Then we gave them time to journal about it.

And, that is how I think about sex and my sexuality -- a special and unique gift shared in a beautiful and exquisite divinely designed language reserved only for the one who treasures me enough to stand before God and man and surrender themselves to my care and take into their keeping all that is me.

I hope to again be able to share that with someone, but I am content at the moment, knowing its true depth and beauty between those married far surpasses any misuse of the gift. If I am meant to remain single for my remaining days, I will at least have known that gift given and received. And, if I am meant to remarry, I will bring that gift and a real understanding of the enormity and beauty of it to my new spouse.

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Mar 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Bob-59786 said: (Quote) Jerry-74383 said: Is Sex Week a common thing at colleges now...
(Quote) Bob-59786 said:

Quote:
Jerry-74383 said:

Is Sex Week a common thing at colleges now? I recently read about one at Yale -- calling it perverse does not do it justice.


A Sex Week Google search shows several Sex Weeks at Colleges.

We know that all people don't believe in practicing sexuality as taught by Christianity and other religions. That's one of the reasons we have to be very selective in searching for a spouse.

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What does it entail? I imagine if it is about not practicing abstinence, that it is about losing one's boundaries and doing something sexual? Or what? It is about becoming sexually active I bet....rolling eyes

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Mar 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Bob-59786 said: (Quote) Jim-13836 said: (Quote) Darrin-306390 said: Wh...
(Quote) Bob-59786 said:

Quote:
Jim-13836 said:

Quote:
Darrin-306390 said:

When our Lady of Fatima said " More souls go to Hell because the sins of the flesh than any other reason" that really made me think. That was in 1917 when morals were so much more better around the world and especially in the USA. In 2013 look at our morals now with all the sexual sins everywhere to what men and women wear, with all the fornication, adultery, etc. I'd be scared to know how many more are falling into hell for it now:(



That comment at Fatima by the Blessed Mother made me sit up and think as well. I ended up coming to the same conclusion you did.


Foxnews.com has a current story about "Sex Week" scheduled April 7 - 12 at the University of Tennessee. I don't think Our Lady of Fatima, or her Son, would approve?

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It is a sex education program. That is not necessarily a bad thing. It depends on what spin they put on it.. of course.
AND We all do know that secularism and moral relativism is rampant in college environmentsas it is out in society, so it could be beyond what we may imagine.


Here is what wikipedia has to say it is:

"Organized originally in 2002 by then Yale College students Eric Rubenstein BK'04 and Jacqueline Farber BF'03, Sex Week at Yale is a biennial event proclaimed on its website as, "an interdisciplinary sex education program designed to pique students’ interest through creative, interactive, and exciting programming." Sex Week at Yale explores love, sex, intimacy and relationships by focusing on how sexuality is manifested in America, helping students to reconcile these issues in their own lives. The week gives students access to professionals both in the classroom and during informal events, including debates, seminars, fashion shows, concerts, and discussions. The events provide students the opportunity to learn about love, sex, intimacy, and relationships from experienced professionals who deal with these issues every day in their professional lives."





I know many will worry that it promotes immoral behavior.

Lets hope it provides important information to reduce such things as STD's at the very least.



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Mar 22nd 2013 new

Lauren was a great thing to do with young people!

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Mar 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: William, I think perhaps others think there is a disconnect between what one says they believe (like ...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

William, I think perhaps others think there is a disconnect between what one says they believe (like in a response to the 7 questions), and what they are really trying to do in real life (like a post about chaste living would suggest).

So maybe there is a thought that lots of us say "I believe" to the premarital sex question, but don't necessarily conclude that we mean it, or tjat we mean it in the fullest sense of chastity (no ABI as someone above suggested, no "parties for one", etc.)

So can see how maybe posting about it gives a fuller, truer, more serious spin to a "yes" to that premarital sex question.

But I am with Marian, if someone thinks that is some statement about how one feels about sex after marriage, or that one is a prude, I agree: that is a ridiculous conclusion, and if someone is prone to think that way about me, let them; they are not for me anyway.

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From experience, the 7/7 doesn't assure anything. Also, if one reserves premarital sex for marriage, that doesn't mean that he or she is not up to doing everything besides "technical sex". Chastity is a whole different conversation, and it's a very important one!

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Mar 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Claudine-882177 said: Exactly! Sometimes, I wonder if my views are stated a bit too strongly in my...
(Quote) Claudine-882177 said:

Exactly! Sometimes, I wonder if my views are stated a bit too strongly in my profile, but then I remember that I don't want or need a bunch of men--just one who is on the same page with me.

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Exactly! Quantity, not quality. I'm sure it turns off many men, but those aren't the men I want anyways. But, there are many wonderful guys out there! clap to them!

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Mar 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said:From experience, the 7/7 doesn't assure anything. Also, if one reserves premarital sex for marriag...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:
From experience, the 7/7 doesn't assure anything. Also, if one reserves premarital sex for marriage, that doesn't mean that he or she is not up to doing everything besides "technical sex". Chastity is a whole different conversation, and it's a very important one!

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Excellent point Tara!

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Mar 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: Excellent point Tara!
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said:

Excellent point Tara!

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Unfortunately, been there, done that. Someone who is pro-NFP doesn't necessarily mean one is against artifical birth control (ABC).

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