(Quote) John-220051 said: I can be the quiet type a lot of the time, and on occasion I struggle for things to talk about when I mee...
(Quote) John-220051 said: I can be the quiet type a lot of the time, and on occasion I struggle for things to talk about when I meet women. Any suggestions for becoming a better conversationalist?
Part of my problem is that I'm a thinker. Most women I meet probably aren't. What are some ideas for helping me to broaden my conversation?
Oh John, John, John :-). I as well am going to ignore the women not being thinkers part lol. Just for the record, I spend ninety percent of my time reading academic writing and knee deep in theory, sooooo anyway.
I have found when it clicks there are always things to talk about and the excitement fuels the mind with questions.
I have a male friend, we've been friends for thirty years or more and he is a bit shy. I send him emails all the time with three words -- applesauce or gravy, chocolate or strawberry, etc. . .gently probing, slightly silly and after about three, he starts embellishing his answers, then laughs and says how do you know how to do that? LOL doesn't matter, just do.
Ask about little things, what they like to do? Tell a story. Tell a joke. Talk about something you recently read that interested you or shocked you and ask them if they had read about it as well. Talk about you family and ask about theirs. Talk about what you do for a living and ask about theirs. I have noticed however gentlemen can talk and talk about their work, so no blow by blow description of your work day. And, admit you are a deep thinker, read heavy books and present them. You might be surprised what people know or don't know about a topic, and you might be surprised and have someone say to you, I am not familiar with the concept but explain it to me -- and then you can have most probably a pretty exciting conversation and share as well.
There are natural lulls in conversation, don't be distressed by them and think if there isn't constant conversation that something is wrong. Pauses can sometimes stretch several seconds and then it will pick back up again -- all natural. Sometimes it might be easier to do a double date, each of you bring a friend or something to take some of the pressure off. And, don't be afraid to tease and be teased --- playful banter is exceptionally enjoyable and relaxing and will eventually lead to deeper conversations.
Have a series or set of questions things you'd like to know and when you feel the conversation fading switch the topics.