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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Mar 20th 2013 new

Well everyone...thank you for your excellent advice! I took Margo's advice last night and asked the teacher via email to preview the video and sure enough he sent it home today in my son's backpack with the instructions to return it tomorrow in case any other parents want to watch it. It wasn't too bad when I watched it. It discusses that the body goes through changes in order to get ready for reproduction. Changes like an erection when the boy gets excited and night secretions were discussed but it didn't talk about what gets him excited, so I think it was appropriate in giving away enough information for a beginner discussion. My son is one of the youngest 5th graders...he is still 10 till mid May, so I still think this is happening a little young for him, but these days perhaps this is necessary. They do have a question time at the end, but I think it will be more about their bodily changes. Anyway, I'm going to go ahead and give him permission with a follow up discussion between us.

He did bring up when I told him initially that I wasn't sure about it that only one person wasn't allowed and that he wanted to watch it....funny people mentioned that. However, it didn't affect my decision either way. If I had to say no I would have explained it to him. Really, I think I have more to worry about when he does summer visitations with his biological father than I do from this video. I am quite sure that my ex and his extended family do not adhere to Catholic principals and teachings. I have even had to discuss how some people use women's bodies as objects and put it on videos and how this isn't right and if he ever sees anything like that, he should stay away from it....believe it or not, I had to discuss this. I'm exhausted just thinking about my worries over the summer. My son is smart though because he told me once that if his biological father's values were like ours we wouldn't be in this position so he knows they aren't.....how smart and amazing for him to say something like that. I just hope it sticks. He has an older step brother that might influence him too during the summer. Again, it is just talking to him as much as he will listen as often as possible.

Mar 21st 2013 new

Hi Cheryl,

I just want to reiterate what others have said about finding out what else they will be saying exactly to the students. I went to the parent night when my daughter was in 5th last year (was at public school, now she's not). The male and female presenters actually disagreed on a couple of questions that the parents had, so right there it showed me that I couldn't trust what was going to be said. They did keep telling us that they wouldn't talk about actual intercourse. I didn't have my daughter take the class and I taught her at home before the class was to take place. I used the Bible and Catechism and talked through the whole thing. I wasn't ready and neither was she, but I figured it was better than her finding out at school.

Well, long story short, they lied. They explained intercourse and the positions--my daughter's friend came to her crying after the class, her friend was not prepared to hear about it from strangers. I personally feel that the subject should be taught at home in the context of our Catholic faith--not separately after the fact. And because these are such intimate subjects, they should be taught by people who are close to them. They will remember your honesty and Faith as they make decisions regarding how they use their bodies as they grow up--as opposed to learning it from a 'cold' medical model.

Hope it all goes well for you and your son.

Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Christine-924384 said: Hi Cheryl,I just want to reiterate what others have said about finding out what else ...
(Quote) Christine-924384 said:

Hi Cheryl,

I just want to reiterate what others have said about finding out what else they will be saying exactly to the students. I went to the parent night when my daughter was in 5th last year (was at public school, now she's not). The male and female presenters actually disagreed on a couple of questions that the parents had, so right there it showed me that I couldn't trust what was going to be said. They did keep telling us that they wouldn't talk about actual intercourse. I didn't have my daughter take the class and I taught her at home before the class was to take place. I used the Bible and Catechism and talked through the whole thing. I wasn't ready and neither was she, but I figured it was better than her finding out at school.

Well, long story short, they lied. They explained intercourse and the positions--my daughter's friend came to her crying after the class, her friend was not prepared to hear about it from strangers. I personally feel that the subject should be taught at home in the context of our Catholic faith--not separately after the fact. And because these are such intimate subjects, they should be taught by people who are close to them. They will remember your honesty and Faith as they make decisions regarding how they use their bodies as they grow up--as opposed to learning it from a 'cold' medical model.

Hope it all goes well for you and your son.

--hide--
I'm going to tell him that the video seems ok, but that I'm still worried about the question and answer part at the end and that I want him to tell me every thing that is asked so we can also discuss it in light of church teaching. Hopefully he will and won't be embarrased.

Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Cheryl-409772 said: I got a permission slip today from my ten year old son who is in fifth grade that they are going...
(Quote) Cheryl-409772 said:

I got a permission slip today from my ten year old son who is in fifth grade that they are going to show the puberty video to them first week in April. He attends public school now. Anyway, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I don't have the perspective of a guy and he is a boy, but I still feel it is the parent's job and not the public schools to educate the child on these matters. The way the school does it is they put the girls in one room with a female teacher and nurse and the boys in another room with a male teacher and nurse. I imagine it is strictly related to the changes in the body and not the moral aspects that go along with those changes since they are just fifth graders.

Thoughs?

--hide--
Presumably the permission slip offers you a chance for your son to opt out. The problem is that you don't know what material will be presented, how it will be presented and if there will be anything about moral consequences (highly doubtful). It seems that even at early ages the schools are attempting to present everything as if it were normal and acceptable. This was brought up here not long ago as it pertained to textbooks and children's books, and tv programs, as I recall. Too much is being presented as perfectly acceptable in today's society, thus it is form of indoctrination. Ideas are planted in the youngsters heads and they think that because it was taught in school, it's fine. Not so.

Parental involvement reigns supreme. There must be other parents who are concerned about content and presentation. Perhaps you could at least obtain the name of the video and you can do a search on the internet about it. Ideally, parents could preview the program -- this is what should actually be done. As a concerned parent, you have a right and responsibility to know what's being taught and shown.

Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Christine-924384 said: Hi Cheryl,I just want to reiterate what others have said about finding out what else ...
(Quote) Christine-924384 said:

Hi Cheryl,

I just want to reiterate what others have said about finding out what else they will be saying exactly to the students. I went to the parent night when my daughter was in 5th last year (was at public school, now she's not). The male and female presenters actually disagreed on a couple of questions that the parents had, so right there it showed me that I couldn't trust what was going to be said. They did keep telling us that they wouldn't talk about actual intercourse. I didn't have my daughter take the class and I taught her at home before the class was to take place. I used the Bible and Catechism and talked through the whole thing. I wasn't ready and neither was she, but I figured it was better than her finding out at school.

Well, long story short, they lied. They explained intercourse and the positions--my daughter's friend came to her crying after the class, her friend was not prepared to hear about it from strangers. I personally feel that the subject should be taught at home in the context of our Catholic faith--not separately after the fact. And because these are such intimate subjects, they should be taught by people who are close to them. They will remember your honesty and Faith as they make decisions regarding how they use their bodies as they grow up--as opposed to learning it from a 'cold' medical model.

Hope it all goes well for you and your son.

--hide--
Youngsters are maturing at a younger age, but not to the extent they are equipped to handle serious moral issues.

Whatever happened to childhood innocence?

Mar 21st 2013 new

Dear Cheryl,


I am the widower with 6 children (ages 6 to 16) and I would not have anyone but mom or dad talk with my children about this stuff. THere is a document put out by the Pontifical Council for the Family, The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, Guidelines for Education in the family (www.vatican.va ). It tells parents to take responsibility for these topics and does not encourage everyone learning everything at the same age in school. Instead it asks parents to discern based on interest and individual maturity what is covered, when, and how. My late wife and I turned this document into a test for parents. If anyone is interested in seeing our test, The Chastity Challenge, I will send it to you in a PDF. Send me a message on CM.


One of the dangers with premature information presented without a proper moral context is increased interest in sex by the children.

I recommend you say no to the class and teach him what he should know as you discern he is ready.


May God bless you.

Mar 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Cheryl-409772 said: I got a permission slip today from my ten year old son who is in fifth grade that they are going...
(Quote) Cheryl-409772 said:

I got a permission slip today from my ten year old son who is in fifth grade that they are going to show the puberty video to them first week in April. He attends public school now. Anyway, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I don't have the perspective of a guy and he is a boy, but I still feel it is the parent's job and not the public schools to educate the child on these matters. The way the school does it is they put the girls in one room with a female teacher and nurse and the boys in another room with a male teacher and nurse. I imagine it is strictly related to the changes in the body and not the moral aspects that go along with those changes since they are just fifth graders.

Thoughs?

--hide--

Hi Cheryl,

I'm glad you were able to view the video. And, just a couple of thoughts that popped into my head:

1. it is a perfect opportunity for you to sit down with your son before the video and again after the video and talk to him about some of these things, making sure to perhaps mention to him, that while the video will teach him things about changes that will be occurring to his body and those of his friends in the next few years, with those changes come more responsibilities which you will teach him about. He can ask you questions both before and after and it might be a good discussion starter.

2. I was eleven when I entered the realm of womanhood, two nieces and two daughters were ten, so it is an appropriate time on the whole to sort of start talking about these changes. I was lucky that both my parents and the nuns at school were able to discuss these topics with us both in and out of school.

3. When in high school, in biology class we spent three days or so watching childbirth films (Catholic highschool). The very cute, grade ahead of me boy who shared my lab table passed out, I managed to catch him before he conked his head lol, but then I was wondering who's going to catch me and I am never ever having babies LOL. . .that wore off lol.

4. Knowing when to have these discussions is always a point we parents fret over, and I don't think there is ever a truly ideal way to do it. The only thing I know for certain is to keep those lines of communication open, try not to be stunned and embarrassed when your children take advantage of that open line of commuication because believe me they will ask you some of the most unexpected questions at the most unexpected times lol. And, it doesn't stop when they get married, my married daughter blind-sides me often lol.

5. It's especially important to keep those lines open and discuss them when situations come up that are teachable moments, because believe me they will be talking to their friends about it, getting who knows what kind of information from their friends about it, and you want to be able to clarify and correct it. Big hugs!!

Mar 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Bob-945720 said: Dear Cheryl, I am the widower with 6 children (ages 6 to 16) and I would not have anyone...
(Quote) Bob-945720 said:

Dear Cheryl,


I am the widower with 6 children (ages 6 to 16) and I would not have anyone but mom or dad talk with my children about this stuff. THere is a document put out by the Pontifical Council for the Family, The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, Guidelines for Education in the family (www.vatican.va ). It tells parents to take responsibility for these topics and does not encourage everyone learning everything at the same age in school. Instead it asks parents to discern based on interest and individual maturity what is covered, when, and how. My late wife and I turned this document into a test for parents. If anyone is interested in seeing our test, The Chastity Challenge, I will send it to you in a PDF. Send me a message on CM.


One of the dangers with premature information presented without a proper moral context is increased interest in sex by the children.

I recommend you say no to the class and teach him what he should know as you discern he is ready.


May God bless you.

--hide--
Thanks Bob....I sure wish I could have found someone like you to be Jacob's role model. At any rate, I already gave permission. I'm suer it will be ok as long as I follow up on the morality issues. The video doesn't talk about sex but just about bodily changes at any rate.

Mar 23rd 2013 new

I agree with Lisa.


When it comes to trusting a current public school administration with teaching sex education, don't make any assumptions as to the appropriateness of the "education". I suspect that there would be one or more things that you are shocked to discover that they consider "appropriate" education.


Ed

Apr 14th 2013 new

I think that this a topic that parents need to discuss with their children not a teacher and nurse. I read a testimony from a nurse who used to speak at "sex ed" classes and her job was to target teens to become sexually active and then give them ways them "way to take care of any problems." It may not even be the movie but what could be said after the movie. That will have no control over. Just a thought.

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