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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Mar 20th 2013 new

I think that a house isn't a pre-requisite for being a provider. I mean, I just bought my own house - what if the lady you are meant to be with already owns her own or is making payments for her house? Does that mean I'm not going to find someone because whoever I'm meant to be with wants to be the provider?


What it ultimately comes down to is whether or not the two of you fit together. The rest will come, as it did for my grandparents who had 11 kids (God provided) or one of my close friends, the oldest of 13. They didn't have a house at first either. You should continue to seek in my opinion.

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Michael-844020 said: Not sure how to lead into this gently, so I'll just hop right in: I finally cleared bankrup...
(Quote) Michael-844020 said:

Not sure how to lead into this gently, so I'll just hop right in: I finally cleared bankruptcy in December of last year. Hoping that I could finally set down some real roots, I contacted a mortgage broker about getting pre-approval for a house. Unfortunately, because of the abuse of subprime loans - which were originally designed for cases such as mine - no lender will so much as glance in my direction for at least two more years.

I want to be a good provider. I want to be able to take care of whatever family God may grant me.

Should I put off searching for two more years until I can be the provider I feel that I should be? As I approach my 37th birthday, I worry more and more that I'm either not doing enough to find the woman God has chosen for me, or that I'm trying too hard, or that I'm looking in the wrong places. How can I know if I should be searching or not?

--hide--

HI Michael,

I agree with the advice you've been given. A fiscally responsible man to me, is one who knows his budget and lives within it, even if that means not doing some things. I don't think a house is a prerequisite to marriage, but being able to rent a home is. So if your financial situation means you aren't able to support yourself -- and I am talking basics, home, utilities, food, etc, then work on that first. If you've got that part covered you are doing fine and go ahead and enter the date market :-). Most marriages have both lean times and fat times, personally for me, I think the lean times were the best of times, we were having kiddos, being frugal, made a game out of it, worked together and planned. When money was flush, sometimes there were more things and more activities that while they were nice and fun, had the tendency to not require as much discussion and cooperation between the two of us.

And, the part about kiddos is so true, if you wait until you have enough money you will never have enough. Not only that, I am not one of those parents that subscribes to the concept that I have to send them to college. They need to get themselves to college, just as I did. Saying that, of course we help them, but we do not foot the entire bill, they have to figure that one out. They appreciate it much more. We also did not buy their cars, we contributed half to their first car, so whatever they had saved that's what we matched. We would carry their car insurance until they were able to do so on their own. Their first cell phones were prepaids and we bought them one minute card a month, the others were their responsibility.

A house will come, most important thing is to build a home and that is built around the family in a rented or owned home.

Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: I am not one of those parents that subscribes to the concept that I have to send them to...
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said:

I am not one of those parents that subscribes to the concept that I have to send them to college. They need to get themselves to college, just as I did. Saying that, of course we help them, but we do not foot the entire bill, they have to figure that one out. They appreciate it much more. We also did not buy their cars, we contributed half to their first car, so whatever they had saved that's what we matched. We would carry their car insurance until they were able to do so on their own. Their first cell phones were prepaids and we bought them one minute card a month, the others were their responsibility.

--hide--

Totally agree about the kids' college! If you keep paying for everything, at what point are they going to grow up and act like adults?

I will however buy my son a car when he turns 16. smile That's a convenience for me so I don't have to drive him around everywhere for 2 more years.

Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Lisa-572677 said: Yes, ultimately, home ownership is the goal. Although you are years away from it,...
(Quote) Lisa-572677 said:

Yes, ultimately, home ownership is the goal. Although you are years away from it, you don't want to go into your retirement with a housing payment.

--hide--

Ah, this is the American dream - home ownership. Why does everyone want to own one? I doubt I will ever own one - a home binds you to one location and makes it hard to move around.

My grandmother lived in a rental apartment for the past 20 years. Senor apartments are subsidized - she paid something like $150 for hers and had more money left from her social security payments than she knew what to do with.

Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Lisa-54615 said: Ah, this is the American dream - home ownership. Why does everyone want to own one? I doub...
(Quote) Lisa-54615 said:

Ah, this is the American dream - home ownership. Why does everyone want to own one? I doubt I will ever own one - a home binds you to one location and makes it hard to move around.

My grandmother lived in a rental apartment for the past 20 years. Senor apartments are subsidized - she paid something like $150 for hers and had more money left from her social security payments than she knew what to do with.

--hide--

Lisa, your grandmother likely received more from SSI than she paid into it. But you are suggesting that we all plan on living in subsidized housing? Will there be enough taxpayers to subsidize all our needs? The Federal government is already paying out more than it takes in.

Really, this is an absurd proposition on so many levels! Yes, not having a housing payment in your golden years still is the best option for most folks.

Mar 21st 2013 new

Yes...rising home prices have been part of the "wealth effect" (aka endless bubbles) pushed by the Fed while the real American economy continues to decline year after year.



(Quote) William-607613 said: Mike,I'm not in this age group (but barely out of it), so I'll offe...
(Quote) William-607613 said:




Mike,

I'm not in this age group (but barely out of it), so I'll offer my two cents here.

I think owning a home today and being financial stable will probably mean two completely different things. I think the correlation between the two evaporated in 2008 when the housing bubble burst; unfortunately, stability still hasn't returned to the housing market so I don't believ we have yet found the bottom of it.

Here in the NYC area I know QUITE a few people who don't own a home. Most of us know someone who bought a home at the market's high and are now underwater on the mortgage.

We are free to relocate as needed, either for a spouse or for a job.

We can all understand your interest in meeting someone; as far as why a home is necessary for your pursuit of a partner, well, that part eludes me.


Will

--hide--

Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Lisa-54615 said: Ah, this is the American dream - home ownership. Why does everyone want to own one? I doub...
(Quote) Lisa-54615 said:

Ah, this is the American dream - home ownership. Why does everyone want to own one? I doubt I will ever own one - a home binds you to one location and makes it hard to move around.

My grandmother lived in a rental apartment for the past 20 years. Senor apartments are subsidized - she paid something like $150 for hers and had more money left from her social security payments than she knew what to do with.

--hide--



Who can afford a house in San Diego?

Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Sean-851370 said: Who can afford a house in San Diego?
(Quote) Sean-851370 said:

Who can afford a house in San Diego?

--hide--

People buy them here all the time! In fact, they go so fast that it's really hard to find one. It's really a seller's market here. For a while I thought I'd look into buying one too, and was pre-approved for a reasonable amount for a condo (not enough for a detached home in my desired location), but it was impossible to find anything - as soon as a place would go on the market, it would go under contract. I heard similar stories from other homebuyers as well. Multiple offers and bidding wars all around. For me it worked out in my favor because I don't want to be stuck in one place with a house. My friend bought a condo in Chicago a while back, and now has been wanting to move out of the area for a while but can't sell the condo.

Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Lisa-572677 said: Lisa, your grandmother likely received more from SSI than she paid into it. But you are suggesting...
(Quote) Lisa-572677 said:

Lisa, your grandmother likely received more from SSI than she paid into it. But you are suggesting that we all plan on living in subsidized housing? Will there be enough taxpayers to subsidize all our needs? The Federal government is already paying out more than it takes in.

Really, this is an absurd proposition on so many levels! Yes, not having a housing payment in your golden years still is the best option for most folks.

--hide--

I'm not proposing anything. I was just asking what are the reasons that so many people want to own their homes here. For me, having no housing payment when one retires is not enough of a reason, but maybe for many people it is. Nothing wrong with that if that's the case. But maybe there are other reasons as well. I suppose a lot depends on a person's lifestyle too.

Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Lisa-54615 said: People buy them here all the time! In fact, they go so fast that it's really hard to f...
(Quote) Lisa-54615 said:

People buy them here all the time! In fact, they go so fast that it's really hard to find one. It's really a seller's market here. For a while I thought I'd look into buying one too, and was pre-approved for a reasonable amount for a condo (not enough for a detached home in my desired location), but it was impossible to find anything - as soon as a place would go on the market, it would go under contract. I heard similar stories from other homebuyers as well. Multiple offers and bidding wars all around. For me it worked out in my favor because I don't want to be stuck in one place with a house. My friend bought a condo in Chicago a while back, and now has been wanting to move out of the area for a while but can't sell the condo.

--hide--



I wonder who's buying them...flippers or Chinese government officials loaded with money?

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