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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Mr. Demanding!!!!!

Mar 20th 2013 new

Intelligence is a desirable quality, but it can be used for evil purposes. Strength is a positive attribute, but it can also be employed to immoral ends. The same can be said for a lot of physical and psychological traits.

Considering only sought-after qualities in a serious dating partner or spouse, how about the desirability of any level of demandingness? I'd assume that most women would see a high degree of demandingness as a red flag, but would they be attracted to a man whose personality possessed a zero level of demandingness? scratchchin

Wondering what happens when Mr. Demanding meets Ms. Demeanor, eyepopping eyebrow wide eyed

John

Mar 20th 2013 new

What do you mean by Mr. Demanding?

"Get my dinner on the table, woman, or else."laughing rolling eyes kind of demanding, or
"You went $5 over the food budget this week, so $5 less next." boggled without inquiring as to the need/purchase.

Or is Mr. Demanding equally harsh on his expectations for himself.

If one sets high expectations (but reasonable) for himself, family etc. but is also realistic that a slip from time to time can occur, then perhaps he is not Mr. Demanding, but more of a Type A personality. Not the psychologist here.

However, seems neither a Mr. or Ms. Demanding is very Christian. Would be interested in a clarification.

Mar 20th 2013 new

My guess is that if a person thinks that they might be "demanding", then they are likely underestimating that aspect of their personality. Perhaps that person should discuss it with a couple of trusted friends who know him/her well. scratchchin Like adding a spoonful of pepper to a stew, unreasonable demands can make a relationship very unpalatable. stir the pot! Its getting cold!


Just my thoughts.


Ed

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-929069 said: What do you mean by Mr. Demanding? "Get my dinner on the table, woman, or else.&...
(Quote) Elizabeth-929069 said:

What do you mean by Mr. Demanding?

"Get my dinner on the table, woman, or else." kind of demanding, or
"You went $5 over the food budget this week, so $5 less next." without inquiring as to the need/purchase.

Or is Mr. Demanding equally harsh on his expectations for himself.

If one sets high expectations (but reasonable) for himself, family etc. but is also realistic that a slip from time to time can occur, then perhaps he is not Mr. Demanding, but more of a Type A personality. Not the psychologist here.

However, seems neither a Mr. or Ms. Demanding is very Christian. Would be interested in a clarification.

--hide--
Hi Elizabeth,

I did not go into a lot of detail about defining this man because I wanted people to define, "Mr. Demanding", from whatever those words brought to their mind from their life experience. One person might recall how confusing the workplace was under a non-demanding supervisor and how it was a lot better when a demanding supervisor took over; that is, the new strictness was better than the old confusion. A second person might have a very different experience where a less demanding supervisor replaced one that was unfairly demanding.

I will say this much about what I meant by "Mr. Demanding", I meant a man whose level of demandingness was considerably higher than average in his overall day. I left all of the qualifications, such as whether his is equally demanding of himself in relation to his duties to others, to those members who might reply to this topic. Actually, there is an exception to what I just wrote because I did ask whether a man with a zero level of demandingness would be attractive to (most, some or none of) women. scratchchin

Testing whether some demandingness should be demanded, scratchchin

John

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) ED-20630 said: My guess is that if a person thinks that they might be
(Quote) ED-20630 said:

My guess is that if a person thinks that they might be "demanding", then they are likely underestimating that aspect of their personality. Perhaps that person should discuss it with a couple of trusted friends who know him/her well. Like adding a spoonful of pepper to a stew, unreasonable demands can make a relationship very unpalatable.


Just my thoughts.


Ed

--hide--
Ed,

Vince Lombardi found Marie and so I guess that the super demanders have a chance.

John

Mar 20th 2013 new

Demands vs expectations? Vocalized vs unvocalized?

Zero level of demandingness sounds both milquetoasty and dangerous. Milquetoast as in he goes along, takes things as they come, everything is ok? How dull. Does he have any personality at all to be able to voice preferences?

These "quiet" types can be dangerous in that they may, indeed, have preferences/expectations, but they don't vocalize them, simply observing if the other person meets those expectations or needs--never letting on whether that other person is close to the mark or far off. And if the marks are missed, then Mr Zero Demands toddles off in search of someone who can, through mental telepathy, intuit what he wants. This is dangerous because it is unfair. Most people want to meet others' needs to the best of their ability. Without something to shoot for, how can one know if that ability was even tested?

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Lina-796057 said: Demands vs expectations? Vocalized vs unvocalized?Zero level of demandingness sounds both ...
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:

Demands vs expectations? Vocalized vs unvocalized?

Zero level of demandingness sounds both milquetoasty and dangerous. Milquetoast as in he goes along, takes things as they come, everything is ok? How dull. Does he have any personality at all to be able to voice preferences?

These "quiet" types can be dangerous in that they may, indeed, have preferences/expectations, but they don't vocalize them, simply observing if the other person meets those expectations or needs--never letting on whether that other person is close to the mark or far off. And if the marks are missed, then Mr Zero Demands toddles off in search of someone who can, through mental telepathy, intuit what he wants. This is dangerous because it is unfair. Most people want to meet others' needs to the best of their ability. Without something to shoot for, how can one know if that ability was even tested?

--hide--
Hi Lina,

Thanks for pointing out various angles from which to view and understand a possible Mr. Demanding.

One of the reasons that I wrote the topic was because I think that to most women the word, "demanding" has a strong negative aura with almost no redeeming aspects and I wanted to ask about this attitude.

Your description of some of the pitfalls of relating to a Mr. Demandlessness was was interesting.

A not so pleasant mixture is the Mr. Demanding who fails to make clear what he wants in the first place, such as in the workplace, and then when the results don't materialize due to his lack of clarity becomes overly demanding for things about which his subordinates still have not been given a clear understanding.

Wondering about the usefulness of demand letters in dating, mischievous eyepopping

John

Mar 20th 2013 new

Mr. Demeanor over Mr. Demanding. I think one can catch more flies with honey, as the saying goes. A person with a disciplined demeanor is more attractive. There really shouldn't be a need to demand something from your spouse or girlfriend if you know how to communicate and are respectful of ine another.

Mar 20th 2013 new

I'd laugh if a man "demanded" I get his dinner on the table, then I'd follow up with "Yes 'ir, I'll be getting yo your slippers and pipe too, missta".

My opinion of "good" demanding would be a fellow who knows what he wants and simply asks for it. Sometimes, in this day and age, such behaviour is seen as a negative. Nothing wrong with a bit of inititiave and ambition.

Bad demanding, well, I'd see that as a "clingy", kinda txting every two minutes, ringing every hour, 10 page long emails detailing their desire for you, followed up with that creepy control factor like "I don't like you having friends/why are you wearing that, put this on, its made of real burlap", sort of demanding.

I guess everyone has a bit of "demanding" in their personality. I know I do. It gets worse when I mix coffee and redbull.

Mar 20th 2013 new
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: I'd laugh if a man "demanded" I get his dinner on the table, then I'd follow up with "Ye...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

I'd laugh if a man "demanded" I get his dinner on the table, then I'd follow up with "Yes 'ir, I'll be getting yo your slippers and pipe too, missta".

My opinion of "good" demanding would be a fellow who knows what he wants and simply asks for it. Sometimes, in this day and age, such behaviour is seen as a negative. Nothing wrong with a bit of inititiave and ambition.

Bad demanding, well, I'd see that as a "clingy", kinda txting every two minutes, ringing every hour, 10 page long emails detailing their desire for you, followed up with that creepy control factor like "I don't like you having friends/why are you wearing that, put this on, its made of real burlap", sort of demanding.

I guess everyone has a bit of "demanding" in their personality. I know I do. It gets worse when I mix coffee and redbull.

--hide--
Once again Naomi, A chuckle to begin. I can be demanding as well. Just not sure if I articulate expectations or even set reasonable ones, which can be problematic.
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