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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Mar 20th 2013 new
(Quote) ED-20630 said: My guess is that if a person thinks that they might be "deman...
(Quote) ED-20630 said:

My guess is that if a person thinks that they might be "demanding", then they are likely underestimating that aspect of their personality. Perhaps that person should discuss it with a couple of trusted friends who know him/her well. Like adding a spoonful of pepper to a stew, unreasonable demands can make a relationship very unpalatable.


Just my thoughts.


Ed

--hide--
I think you worded my thoughts very nicely Ed
Mar 20th 2013 new

I don't mind a man with high standards.
Demanding that I meet them -- esp. if I don't share them -- is a different question. scratchchin

Mar 20th 2013 new

My reaction to ANYONE who is truly demanding is always, "Who died and left you in charge?"

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: I'd laugh if a man "demanded" I get his dinner on the table, then I'd follow up with ...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: I'd laugh if a man "demanded" I get his dinner on the table, then I'd follow up with "Yes 'ir, I'll be getting yo your slippers and pipe too, missta".
--hide--
Don't forget to end it with a long list of what he is expected to do for you in return.

Funny how many people never think of reciprocity as being important to a relationship.

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said:would they be attracted to a man whose personality possessed a zero level of demandingness?
(Quote) John-184825 said:would they be attracted to a man whose personality possessed a zero level of demandingness?

--hide--
Sounds like my step-father. A lovely man who took pleasure in everything and was a joy to be around. And we all appreciated this trait in him -- so no one ever took advantage of his good nature.

Mar 20th 2013 new

Give me a man with a spine, a mind of his own and equal measures of reasonableness, patience, empathy and a willingness & ability toward constructive communication.


I will not tolerate bossy or dominiering controlers. While I am a capable, fairly self-sufficient woman - I do not mind, in fact would welcome, someone to gently guide and lead. The man should be the head of his family and lead them toward a holy existence - but he shouldn't let it 'go to his head'. wink Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: My reaction to ANYONE who is truly demanding is always, "Who died and left you in charge?&qu...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

My reaction to ANYONE who is truly demanding is always, "Who died and left you in charge?"

--hide--

So many cheeky ways to respond to that...

Its like the "what did your last slave die of?" question.

"Exhaustion"

or

"Asking too many question *narrow eyes dangerously*".

Mar 20th 2013 new

Bow Bow Bow Bow

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Lynea-297530 said: Mr. Demeanor over Mr. Demanding. I think one can catch more flies with honey, as the saying goes....
(Quote) Lynea-297530 said:

Mr. Demeanor over Mr. Demanding. I think one can catch more flies with honey, as the saying goes. A person with a disciplined demeanor is more attractive. There really shouldn't be a need to demand something from your spouse or girlfriend if you know how to communicate and are respectful of ine another.

--hide--
Hi Lynea,

Some versions of Mr. Demanding, not the most extreme of forms but a sort higher than most on the demand scale, may employ demanding tones only after the softer approaches fail, which eventuality might never occur in your personal world. Maybe this more lyneant type would be acceptable to someone named Lynea. scratchchin

John

Mar 20th 2013 new

I think the word "demanding" rightly has a negative connotation in relationships. In a real sense, we can't "demand" something from another person. They are other than us (separate and out of our control) and that is a good thing (we can't be in a relationship if there is not an "other" person to be in relationship with.)

Relationships are a free gift of self to an other. That can't be "demanded" or forced if it is genuine and freely given. Even "demanding" respect is pointless since we can't "make" the other person do something which requires freedom in the giving. Somehow the demanding negates the freedom.

I liked the distinction made between "demands" and "expectations". Expectations are good especially when they are shared! Expressed needs are also good. It gives the other person the opportunity to respond in freedom and express love. Demands? Not a fan. It implies one person is above/better/stronger/etc. than the other. And it introduces "force" into love . . . which is freely given.

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