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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Mar 20th 2013 new

Demandingness? This isn't even a word but for the sake of the intent of this post I will comment. While I am no great resource having never been married, I don't think that being overtly demanding can sustain any relationship, whether in business or personal life. Demanding has at its core the root of selfishness. Love and acceptance are diametrically opposed to this notion. We can only hope to encourage and support those we are in a relationship and lead by love and example. Even Jesus did not demand, but led by example and drew others to Him through forgiveness and not judgment. As for myself, I am such a sinner that I could never demand more from others, but to support them, pray for them and hope that the same for me.

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: I'd laugh if a man "demanded" I get his dinner on the table, then I'd follow up...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

I'd laugh if a man "demanded" I get his dinner on the table, then I'd follow up with "Yes 'ir, I'll be getting yo your slippers and pipe too, missta".

My opinion of "good" demanding would be a fellow who knows what he wants and simply asks for it. Sometimes, in this day and age, such behaviour is seen as a negative. Nothing wrong with a bit of inititiave and ambition.

Bad demanding, well, I'd see that as a "clingy", kinda txting every two minutes, ringing every hour, 10 page long emails detailing their desire for you, followed up with that creepy control factor like "I don't like you having friends/why are you wearing that, put this on, its made of real burlap", sort of demanding.

I guess everyone has a bit of "demanding" in their personality. I know I do. It gets worse when I mix coffee and redbull.

--hide--
It sounds as though you do not demand that all aspects of a demanding nature be removed from any candidates for the title of "Mr. Wonderful". Some men with a significant amount of demandingness in their make up don't activate it as their initial form of requesting something, nothing like, "Now for the first time, take the marmite off the table and get the vegemite!" Blinded by love wide eyed

Vegetating mightily, cool

John

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: It sounds as though you do not demand that all aspects of a demanding nature be removed from any c...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

It sounds as though you do not demand that all aspects of a demanding nature be removed from any candidates for the title of "Mr. Wonderful". Some men with a significant amount of demandingness in their make up don't activate it as their initial form of requesting something, nothing like, "Now for the first time, take the marmite off the table and get the vegemite!"

Vegetating mightily,

John

--hide--

Deal breaker.

Marmite and only Marmite. And not that British garbage.

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: Deal breaker. Marmite and only Marmite. And not that British garbage.
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

Deal breaker.

Marmite and only Marmite. And not that British garbage.

--hide--
How very demanding! Can we compromise and settle for promite?

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: I don't mind a man with high standards.Demanding that I meet them -- esp. if I don't ...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

I don't mind a man with high standards.
Demanding that I meet them -- esp. if I don't share them -- is a different question.

--hide--
I was thinking more about demanding in regard to things that are generally considered by society to be duties or requirements rather than optional things such as, "I wouldn't consider dating anyone who didn't exercise at least five hours per week", which is not widely seen as a duty. The demanding nature I intended to ask about is the kind that won't just let things slide in relation to duty shirkers.

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-929069 said: Once again Naomi, A chuckle to begin. I can be demanding as well. Just not sure if I articulate expe...
(Quote) Elizabeth-929069 said: Once again Naomi, A chuckle to begin. I can be demanding as well. Just not sure if I articulate expectations or even set reasonable ones, which can be problematic.
--hide--
Thanks for giving demandingness some more qualified approval. thumbsup

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: My reaction to ANYONE who is truly demanding is always, "Who died and left you in charge?&qu...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

My reaction to ANYONE who is truly demanding is always, "Who died and left you in charge?"

--hide--
And what did you say when he demanded an apology? mischievous

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Don't forget to end it with a long list of what he is expected to do for you in return.
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Don't forget to end it with a long list of what he is expected to do for you in return.

Funny how many people never think of reciprocity as being important to a relationship.

--hide--
Yes, the more demanding a man is the more willing he should be to accept the same when he has failed in some duty or responsibility.

Mar 20th 2013 new
(Quote) John-184825 said: I was thinking more about demanding in regard to things that are generally considered by society to be duties or...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

I was thinking more about demanding in regard to things that are generally considered by society to be duties or requirements rather than optional things such as, "I wouldn't consider dating anyone who didn't exercise at least five hours per week", which is not widely seen as a duty. The demanding nature I intended to ask about is the kind that won't just let things slide in relation to duty shirkers.

--hide--
Given your comment here I'm not sure that I'm favoring demandingness, as I can let certain things slide easily.
Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Brenda-444789 said: Give me a man with a spine, a mind of his own and equal measures of reasonableness, patience, em...
(Quote) Brenda-444789 said:

Give me a man with a spine, a mind of his own and equal measures of reasonableness, patience, empathy and a willingness & ability toward constructive communication.


I will not tolerate bossy or domineering controllers. While I am a capable, fairly self-sufficient woman - I do not mind, in fact would welcome, someone to gently guide and lead. The man should be the head of his family and lead them toward a holy existence - but he shouldn't let it 'go to his head'. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.

--hide--
Hi Brenda,

That sounds like a balanced view. I hope that the supply of balanced men in your area does not outrun the demand. laughing

John

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