Demandingness? This isn't even a word but for the sake of the intent of this post I will comment. While I am no great resource having never been married, I don't think that being overtly demanding can sustain any relationship, whether in business or personal life. Demanding has at its core the root of selfishness. Love and acceptance are diametrically opposed to this notion. We can only hope to encourage and support those we are in a relationship and lead by love and example. Even Jesus did not demand, but led by example and drew others to Him through forgiveness and not judgment. As for myself, I am such a sinner that I could never demand more from others, but to support them, pray for them and hope that the same for me.
I'd laugh if a man "demanded" I get his dinner on the table, then I'd follow up with "Yes 'ir, I'll be getting yo your slippers and pipe too, missta".
My opinion of "good" demanding would be a fellow who knows what he wants and simply asks for it. Sometimes, in this day and age, such behaviour is seen as a negative. Nothing wrong with a bit of inititiave and ambition.
Bad demanding, well, I'd see that as a "clingy", kinda txting every two minutes, ringing every hour, 10 page long emails detailing their desire for you, followed up with that creepy control factor like "I don't like you having friends/why are you wearing that, put this on, its made of real burlap", sort of demanding.
I guess everyone has a bit of "demanding" in their personality. I know I do. It gets worse when I mix coffee and redbull.
It sounds as though you do not demand that all aspects of a demanding nature be removed from any candidates for the title of "Mr. Wonderful". Some men with a significant amount of demandingness in their make up don't activate it as their initial form of requesting something, nothing like, "Now for the first time, take the marmite off the table and get the vegemite!"
Marmite and only Marmite. And not that British garbage.
I don't mind a man with high standards.
Demanding that I meet them -- esp. if I don't share them -- is a different question.
My reaction to ANYONE who is truly demanding is always, "Who died and left you in charge?"
Don't forget to end it with a long list of what he is expected to do for you in return.
Funny how many people never think of reciprocity as being important to a relationship.
I was thinking more about demanding in regard to things that are generally considered by society to be duties or requirements rather than optional things such as, "I wouldn't consider dating anyone who didn't exercise at least five hours per week", which is not widely seen as a duty. The demanding nature I intended to ask about is the kind that won't just let things slide in relation to duty shirkers.
Give me a man with a spine, a mind of his own and equal measures of reasonableness, patience, empathy and a willingness & ability toward constructive communication.
I will not tolerate bossy or domineering controllers. While I am a capable, fairly self-sufficient woman - I do not mind, in fact would welcome, someone to gently guide and lead. The man should be the head of his family and lead them toward a holy existence - but he shouldn't let it 'go to his head'. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
That sounds like a balanced view. I hope that the supply of balanced men in your area does not outrun the demand.