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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Lina-796057 said: I see it as a case of two people with differing dating views/styles. What works for you or is pref...
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:

I see it as a case of two people with differing dating views/styles. What works for you or is preferable for you is not his preferred way. I'm thinking that maybe learning of this difference was a shock and a disappointment, because those long conversations were so pleasing and there seemed to be compatibility in a number of areas. Maybe some expectations started to form...and learning you were not singular in his interest felt hurtful!

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Yes, I would agree. But, I also believe that he should have been upfront that he was currently dating and meeting several women, and, in fact, apparently in a relationship with one woman (6 dates and counting and apparently some physical intimacy from what he told me). To me, that is not just meeting people, that is being in a relationship. And, to me, that is potentially very hurtful as I have never failed to see someone get hurt if someone is telling people he is looking for someone to marry and is dating more than one person. Unless that person is just casually dating or doesn't care, she is going to get hurt whether she is the one he is/was dating first or whether she is the one he is meeting (after many messages, much phone time, etc.) while he is still in a relationship with the first person. I have seen so many women friends through so much heartbreak just because of situations like this! And, of course, this has also happened to me in the past which is why I won't meet someone who is in a relationship.

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Mar 21st 2013 new

Patricia I agree with you totally in fact I don't share well. I have always made it my policy to only date one man at a time. That does not mean I can't have male friends, and I do have male friends, but that does not take anything away from the man I am dating. The relationships are totally different.

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Mar 21st 2013 new

I am a one man woman. I don't want to be in conversation or meeting someone that is also talking to others. But my own experience has been that men who contact me are still wanting to be in contact with other women.. If I find out they are I quietly back away. My friends who have found their spouses here have been lucky enough t find men who only had eyes for them. I just had this conversation with my friend tonight.. She said "Donna, if you want a Dan or a Paul then they have to start from the beginning to give their undivided attention to you."

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Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: I am a one man woman. I don't want to be in conversation or meeting someone that is also talki...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

I am a one man woman. I don't want to be in conversation or meeting someone that is also talking to others. But my own experience has been that men who contact me are still wanting to be in contact with other women.. If I find out they are I quietly back away. My friends who have found their spouses here have been lucky enough t find men who only had eyes for them. I just had this conversation with my friend tonight.. She said "Donna, if you want a Dan or a Paul then they have to start from the beginning to give their undivided attention to you."

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Donna, I wholeheartedly agree with you. So, I guess I am a one man woman too, and that means right from the start!

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Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Sharon-885911 said: Patricia I agree with you totally in fact I don't share well. I have always made it my polic...
(Quote) Sharon-885911 said:

Patricia I agree with you totally in fact I don't share well. I have always made it my policy to only date one man at a time. That does not mean I can't have male friends, and I do have male friends, but that does not take anything away from the man I am dating. The relationships are totally different.

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Well, Sharon, I guess I don't share well either as I have no intention of sharing any genlteman I am dating with another woman and that means for the very first date. And, I truly believe that is the only Christian way to date because if one does date multiple people it invarialby leads to someone getting hurt emotionally (which to me is very unChristian!)

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Mar 21st 2013 new

As I was browsing through a prior thread here in Single Life, I came across a Tina Turner song that soooooo expresses how I feel right now, and so I though I would put a link here for a little "comic" relief! (not that the song is funny, but it does seem rather apt at the moment! wink

www.youtube.com

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Mar 21st 2013 new

Okay, and so now that I got that out of my system, I browsed through another thread in St. Peter's Square and found possibly my favorite song on the face of the planet recorded live in New York performed by Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion. Please enjoy this as I think it embodies the prayer and feelings of what a man and a woman can be and become in a Christ-centered relationship! hug

www.youtube.com

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Mar 21st 2013 new

[quote]Patricia-29176 said possibly my favorite song on the face of the planet recorded live in New York performed by Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion. Please enjoy this as I think it embodies the prayer and feelings of what a man and a woman can be and become in a Christ-centered relationship!

www.youtube.com

[/quote clap clap ]Absolutely breathtaking, Tricia!

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Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Beverly-649723 said: (Quote) Patricia-29176 said possibly my favorite song on the face of the planet...
(Quote) Beverly-649723 said:

[quote]Patricia-29176 said possibly my favorite song on the face of the planet recorded live in New York performed by Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion. Please enjoy this as I think it embodies the prayer and feelings of what a man and a woman can be and become in a Christ-centered relationship!

www.youtube.com

[/quote ]Absolutely breathtaking, Tricia!

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Yes, isn't it amazing! I think if I keep listening to it, my psyche will calm down about the experiences I had yesterday! fluffy

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Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-29176 said: I currently have a thread going in the women's forum, but would appreciate hearing a man...
(Quote) Patricia-29176 said:

I currently have a thread going in the women's forum, but would appreciate hearing a man't point of view. I had exchanged (at current count) 32 messages with a man, had about 4 phone calls which added up to 9 hours of conversation, he was talking about coming up to Chicago to meet me in early April, we seem to be very compatible in terms of attraction, intelligence, professions, Catholic devotion, age, wanting to get married, etc. Monday night I found out that he has gone on 6 dates with a woman who has told him that she is not ready for a committment and is, in fact, interested in someone from another continent. And, today, he told me that he has not stopped dating her. So, I told him that I am not willing to meet someone who is currrently dating someone, but if he does at some point end the relationship, he can send me an email message (as he has my private email address and phone number, and if I am available, we can discuss meeting. I also told him that I am in conversation with 2 other gentlemen (which is indeed true). I just don't want to play these dating games anymore. My preference is to meet someone and see if there is any interest on both parts to pursue a relationship, and then, if not, to then move on to someone else. I truly don't understand this dating and meeting multiple women as he is also apparently conversing with and meeting other women (and, he is relatively new to CM). He states that the women he is talking to (in their 50's and early 60's all say that they are meeting and dating several people which I truly find hard to believe, and that I am the only one that is unwilling to meet someone who is dating someone currently (6 times plus) and apparently physically intimate (at least more than hugging and a kiss on the cheek from what he told me!).

I would love to hear what men have to say about this, and also what women in their 50's and 60's have to say about this.

It won't change what I do. I will not meet someone who is currently dating someone.

Thanks in advance for any/all of your input. I am somewhat upset by all this, as I didn't realize that I had to ask someone directly if they were dating/ in a relationship if they approached me, exchanged 32 messages with me, spent 9 hours on the phone with me (in great conversation, by the way), and wanted to come to Chicago to meet me (living far enough away to have to fly or have a very long drive/train ride!) I am also sad about this, as I truly thought this was the right guy for me!

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Patricia,

The red flag was where he mentioned that he was still dating a woman who informed him that she was not interested in a commitment (and not that he was necessarily dating another woman). The purpose of dating is to discern whether two people are called together for marriage. If either he or this other woman do not see marriage in their future, then that relationship should be over. That it isn't over raises the question of whether he is dating with the correct understanding of what its purpose is.


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