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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
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Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said:I disagree with asking a man out. Guess I am too old fashioned which is probably why I sit at home.
(Quote) Linda-756196 said:I disagree with asking a man out. Guess I am too old fashioned which is probably why I sit at home.
--hide--

Please don't sit at home-
If you do not show interest
it might be better to be at home
there is flirting and there is flirting
If you do not wish to ask a man out
please at least talk to him, search
out mutual topics and be fun to talk
to, at our age if a man is unattached
he probably has communication issues
or commitment issues. I have not met
any who really want to be alone,
just have nto figured out the GAME,
OH- I was going to say where to go
but that has been covered elsewhere

LOCKED
Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) John-842063 said: Hello PatriciaI pretty much disagree with the vast majority of what has been posted on you...
(Quote) John-842063 said:


Hello Patricia
I pretty much disagree with the vast majority of what has been posted on your thread
just to be positive
1) when I was younger I decided to ONLY date women whom I was willing to consider marrying-
I should have stuck to this, but I did have narrow criteria and an ego, and perhaps I am better
for having expanded my horizons
2) these guys are hopefully seeking their life partner- If they have not yet married it will take
a while to get to know her- Unlike the lady who eloped, most of us need to learn about each other
why not contact and see more than one lady at a time?(I do not know that becoming physically
intimate is a selection criteria- on this site that may be considered a problem
3) Almost all of the women I have dated have been seeing someone else- may be my problem
but I can say I should have realized this a long time ago and accepted it.
4) Those of us who are on this site for any lenght of time have for good or bad reasons not
committed- I for one am open to anyone pointing these issues out to me(hopefully privately where
some discussion is possible)

TO CONCLUDE- I think women should ask men for dates, that is where most of my serious relationships started,
I now beleive that dating someone is not a good reason to not see others, I would consider anyone in a serious
relationship to be off limits and anyone pursuing someone in a serious relationship to be unchristian.
We alll need to be flexible, but anyone who is physically intimate is CRAZY to think that they can see others
and if your significant other is doing this it is time to either leave or consent(YIKES! forget that one)
ps- if a guy is intimate with someone who is not interested in him
then I agree; you should probably not be either BUT I have seen
real relationships grow out of such so you need to make your own decisions....
at our age I think maybe we should rethink some decisions
BUT if something does not fell right- head for the EXIT :o) {emoticons blocked on this computer :o( }

--hide--

Well, John, respectfully, I can understand why you have never been married after reading this post. I think you are wrong in most of your posting, although you do make 1 or 2 good points. I won't say any more than this for now, but I am sure many other people will respond to your post here. I do have to say though that it is a HUGE mistake for a woman to ask a man out!

LOCKED
Mar 21st 2013 new

These replies remind me of an incident a couple of years ago when I was part of a matching game someone set up and part of the deal was you had to exchange X number of communications including phone calls.. I was very interested in one of the men and it took a few days for us to get coordinated to do the phone call..The minute we get on the phone he says to me "I'm going to have to make this really short because I'm waiting on a phone call from another woman." Talk throwing a bucket of cold water on somebody. weeping

LOCKED
Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) John-842063 said: Please don't sit at home- If you do not show interestit might be better to be at h...
(Quote) John-842063 said:


Please don't sit at home-
If you do not show interest
it might be better to be at home
there is flirting and there is flirting
If you do not wish to ask a man out
please at least talk to him, search
out mutual topics and be fun to talk
to, at our age if a man is unattached
he probably has communication issues
or commitment issues. I have not met
any who really want to be alone,
just have nto figured out the GAME,
OH- I was going to say where to go
but that has been covered elsewhere

--hide--

John, if a man has committment issues, why would any woman want him? He should be seeing a therapist/counselor to work on those issues and get past them. It is not up to the woman to be his therapist! And, if he has communication issues, ditto!

No woman has to sit at home, and I really don't think most women on here do. There are so many activities to do, groups to join, travel to experience, friendships (with other women) to enjoy, classes to take (whether it be kayaking or knitting), theatre or movies to go to, etc.

Please gentlemen, do NOT think that women are sitting at home by the phone just waiting for you to call, as they are not. Who would want to be with someone who has NO life. Women are not like that, they fully live and enjoy their life, whether they have a boyfriend/husband or not - at least the women that I know do! You would be very mistaken if you assume this!

LOCKED
Mar 21st 2013 new

Tricia,

To me, if both parties have not agreed to date exclusively, you don’t have a relationship.

There is however a dichotomy in this scenario. It seems if men are dating several woman, they are “branded” as being not well-grounded, can’t make a commitment, window shopping, Casanova or dating multiples will hopefully result in one or more to satisfy their physical desires. If a woman does the same, they are exploring their options. I am not saying this is right but just from what I have observed in my 60 plus years.

It's one thing if a man is meeting different women for a drink or an occasional pizza but when deeper feelings enter the equation, they are starting to tiptoe through a very dangerous minefield. Initially, a woman naturally feels hurt and feel they were just used. Then, it can turn into outright anger and that anger is justified.

True faith based women are looking for a commitment that will lead to marriage and a strong physical relationship. Nothing wrong with that. All men should seek the same.

The bottom line - dating like so many other things in life is a risk. Some dating will grow into something strong that winds up in the “penthouse” and some will fall apart that eventually winds up in the “outhouse”. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If one is not willing to take chances, don’t date and just stay single.

After being married once, I learned never to get my hopes up. The person you meet today may not be the same person three months from now. In social settings, usually people are on their best behavior. It is through a period of being around each other that we can eventually see the person for who they are. The phonies will always rise to the top. Their lies will eventually catch up with them. Once a woman loses their trust and respect for you, it is hard if not impossible to regain that trust.

I personally would not care to date a woman who is dating multiple people. If I can commit to one woman at a time, so can they.

Tricia, I would drop that guy. Not worth any more effort.

Just my take.

Blessings, Praying hug rose


Leon

LOCKED
Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Leon-593843 said: Tricia, To me, if both parties have not agreed to date exclusively, you don’t have a ...
(Quote) Leon-593843 said:

Tricia,

To me, if both parties have not agreed to date exclusively, you don’t have a relationship.

There is however a dichotomy in this scenario. It seems if men are dating several woman, they are “branded” as being not well-grounded, can’t make a commitment, window shopping, Casanova or dating multiples will hopefully result in one or more to satisfy their physical desires. If a woman does the same, they are exploring their options. I am not saying this is right but just from what I have observed in my 60 plus years.

It's one thing if a man is meeting different women for a drink or an occasional pizza but when deeper feelings enter the equation, they are starting to tiptoe through a very dangerous minefield. Initially, a woman naturally feels hurt and feel they were just used. Then, it can turn into outright anger and that anger is justified.

True faith based women are looking for a commitment that will lead to marriage and a strong physical relationship. Nothing wrong with that. All men should seek the same.

The bottom line - dating like so many other things in life is a risk. Some dating will grow into something strong that winds up in the “penthouse” and some will fall apart that eventually winds up in the “outhouse”. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If one is not willing to take chances, don’t date and just stay single.

After being married once, I learned never to get my hopes up. The person you meet today may not be the same person three months from now. In social settings, usually people are on their best behavior. It is through a period of being around each other that we can eventually see the person for who they are. The phonies will always rise to the top. Their lies will eventually catch up with them. Once a woman loses their trust and respect for you, it is hard if not impossible to regain that trust.

I personally would not care to date a woman who is dating multiple people. If I can commit to one woman at a time, so can they.

Tricia, I would drop that guy. Not worth any more effort.

Just my take.

Blessings,


Leon

--hide--

Leon, thanks for posting your response here!

The man in question has already been dropped!

I told him yesterday on the phone that I was done!

I don't play dating games, and that is what dating multiple people is about. And, I say this to both men and women. There is no reason a man or a woman cannot spend a few weeks getting to know 1 person that interests them via phone calls and meeting a couple times - absolutely no reason that I can come up with. Every time I've seen a man date multiple women, it has ended in disaster for the man, the woman or women, or all of them. I once broke up with a man who was dating me and another woman when I found out. The next day the woman broke up with him when she found out . He ended up with NO ONE!

LOCKED
Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: I disagree with asking a man out. Guess I am too old fashioned which is pro...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said:


I disagree with asking a man out. Guess I am too old fashioned which is probably why I sit at home.

--hide--


clap Me too.. On those occasions where I have been initiating everything I have also been a mass of anxiety because his lack of initiating also means he's not showing or telling me where I stand with him.

LOCKED
Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) John-842063 said: Please don't sit at home- If you do not show interestit might be better to be at h...
(Quote) John-842063 said:


Please don't sit at home-
If you do not show interest
it might be better to be at home
there is flirting and there is flirting
If you do not wish to ask a man out
please at least talk to him, search
out mutual topics and be fun to talk
to, at our age if a man is unattached
he probably has communication issues
or commitment issues. I have not met
any who really want to be alone,
just have nto figured out the GAME,
OH- I was going to say where to go
but that has been covered elsewhere

--hide--


Cute. I am trying to figure out the game. I am a flunkee, but I do okay at least with the talking and communicating. Maybe a little too girl next door, though?

LOCKED
Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-29176 said: (Quote) Leon-593843 said: Tricia, To me, if both parties have not...
(Quote) Patricia-29176 said:

Quote:
Leon-593843 said:

Tricia,

To me, if both parties have not agreed to date exclusively, you don’t have a relationship.

There is however a dichotomy in this scenario. It seems if men are dating several woman, they are “branded” as being not well-grounded, can’t make a commitment, window shopping, Casanova or dating multiples will hopefully result in one or more to satisfy their physical desires. If a woman does the same, they are exploring their options. I am not saying this is right but just from what I have observed in my 60 plus years.

It's one thing if a man is meeting different women for a drink or an occasional pizza but when deeper feelings enter the equation, they are starting to tiptoe through a very dangerous minefield. Initially, a woman naturally feels hurt and feel they were just used. Then, it can turn into outright anger and that anger is justified.

True faith based women are looking for a commitment that will lead to marriage and a strong physical relationship. Nothing wrong with that. All men should seek the same.

The bottom line - dating like so many other things in life is a risk. Some dating will grow into something strong that winds up in the “penthouse” and some will fall apart that eventually winds up in the “outhouse”. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If one is not willing to take chances, don’t date and just stay single.

After being married once, I learned never to get my hopes up. The person you meet today may not be the same person three months from now. In social settings, usually people are on their best behavior. It is through a period of being around each other that we can eventually see the person for who they are. The phonies will always rise to the top. Their lies will eventually catch up with them. Once a woman loses their trust and respect for you, it is hard if not impossible to regain that trust.

I personally would not care to date a woman who is dating multiple people. If I can commit to one woman at a time, so can they.

Tricia, I would drop that guy. Not worth any more effort.

Just my take.

Blessings,


Leon


Leon, thanks for posting your response here!

The man in question has already been dropped!

I told him yesterday on the phone that I was done!

I don't play dating games, and that is what dating multiple people is about. And, I say this to both men and women. There is no reason a man or a woman cannot spend a few weeks getting to know 1 person that interests them via phone calls and meeting a couple times - absolutely no reason that I can come up with. Every time I've seen a man date multiple women, it has ended in disaster for the man, the woman or women, or all of them. I once broke up with a man who was dating me and another woman when I found out. The next day the woman broke up with him when she found out . He ended up with NO ONE!

--hide--



Tricia,

Good for you. You state "He ended up with NO ONE!" clap clap clap

Blessings, Praying hug rose

Leon

LOCKED
Mar 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-29176 said: John, if a man has committment issues, why would any woman want him? He should be seei...
(Quote) Patricia-29176 said:

John, if a man has committment issues, why would any woman want him? He should be seeing a therapist/counselor to work on those issues and get past them. It is not up to the woman to be his therapist! And, if he has communication issues, ditto!

No woman has to sit at home, and I really don't think most women on here do. There are so many activities to do, groups to join, travel to experience, friendships (with other women) to enjoy, classes to take (whether it be kayaking or knitting), theatre or movies to go to, etc.

Please gentlemen, do NOT think that women are sitting at home by the phone just waiting for you to call, as they are not. Who would want to be with someone who has NO life. Women are not like that, they fully live and enjoy their life, whether they have a boyfriend/husband or not - at least the women that I know do! You would be very mistaken if you assume this!

--hide--


This post is about the sitting home comment.. I speak for many women who are not being contacted for interest in themselves.. I get contacts from men all right..The men that want to pick my brain about how to attract other women.. Rarely am I contacted with any interest in getting to know me.. I rarely date..I have months or years between dates. And sometimes months between any contacts at all.. If I were talking to three men at a time I'd have to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming.

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