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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Mar 24th 2013 new

(Quote) William-607613 said: I simply don't think this kind of intimacy between two members of the opposite sex is possi...
(Quote) William-607613 said:

I simply don't think this kind of intimacy between two members of the opposite sex is possible unless they are married.

--hide--

Just to clarify, it IS possible, just not efficacious for being in a committed relationship.

Mar 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: I can name five unmarried Catholic men whom I consider my friends under your definition.W...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

I can name five unmarried Catholic men whom I consider my friends under your definition.

We've told each other painful memories, asked each other for advice, cried and comforted, and even helped each other economically.
In none of these cases is romance ever going to be a possibility. And that's okay, because we ARE friends, and there's nothing wrong with that.

BTW, you say "It's the members of the same sex with whom we have the most in common to form any kind of acquaintance". Not true for me. I have no female friends who are my confidants to the same degree as these guys.

I would suggest that most times men and women can't be real friends because they don't allow themselves to try to.

--hide--



FIVE? (One man, maybe. There might be an underlying issue nobody knows about but him. But five men?)

It begs the question, Marge. How do you or any one of these five men open up to a member of the opposite sex without feeling a stronger interest (over time) in that person? I mean, marriages start this way. Affairs start this way.

Given enough time, I would fall for EVERY woman I developed this kind of a friendship with. If what you are saying is true, then you have a much stronger constitution than I do.








Mar 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Lynea-297530 said: Just to clarify, it IS possible, just not efficacious for being in a committed relationship. ...
(Quote) Lynea-297530 said:


Just to clarify, it IS possible, just not efficacious for being in a committed relationship.

--hide--



So you don't think this would lead two unmarried people to marriage?


What would stop them?

Mar 24th 2013 new

Hi William:

A friend is a very special person, whom one can trust...confide in...ask for advice... laugh and cry with. I believe there can be friends of different degrees/different friendships. Ernie (my late husband) and I were very close friends, my sister and I are also very close friends, and I consider my parish priest to be a close friend as well...he has now moved to a nearby parish. With the 3 examples, our friendships were somewhat different, but I still consider them all friends. Christ had friends...both male and felmale.

I understand what you may be applying. In highschool I did have one male friend...I considered him as a brother, but he wanted more, and I was saddened because I did value him as a friend/brother, but of course our friendship had to end because of his romatic interest in me.

Perhaps at the beginning of the relationship, or sometime later, people are not being honest with either themselves and or the other.

I do believe people of the opposite sex can be friends. Friends care and look out for each other, help one another, give advice, pray for each other, wish the best for one another, and love one another as family (other's best interest/not selfish). I don't know how common these friendships are.

Mar 24th 2013 new

(Quote) William-607613 said: So you don't think this would lead two unmarried people to marriage? What would sto...
(Quote) William-607613 said:

So you don't think this would lead two unmarried people to marriage?

What would stop them?

--hide--


Yes, a very dysfunctional marriage. Hopefully, the truth would come out that the committment was really only superficial and would be unhappy down the road, and therefore, it wouldn't reach the altar.

Mar 24th 2013 new

This is a great topic to ponder.

I believe there needs to be purity of intention, otherwise there is chaos. Marriage should not have to enter in the future for true friendship with the opposite sex. Christ calls us to be brothers and sister to each other. I consider the term brother to be a friend.

Mar 24th 2013 new
I think it depends on the nature of the conversation but I woulld prefer a friendship is in place before it goes to an emotional, physical relationship.
Mar 24th 2013 new

Yes, I have always had male friends in fact three of my best friends now are men. We don't see each other often but always left off where we started the last time. The three I grew up with, there were 6 of us that hung around together and all of them are married...none to each other. I have made male friends thru work or church and they were either married or not interested in anyhing but friendship, at least as far as I know. There were some females that wouldn't allow my male friends to be friends with me while they were dating, but they eventually went their own way. I enjoy the perspective of the man in any subject, very informative. scratchchin knight-errant princess

Mar 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-848472 said: Friends care and look out for each other, help one another, give advice, pray for each other, wis...
(Quote) Donna-848472 said:

Friends care and look out for each other, help one another, give advice, pray for each other, wish the best for one another, and love one another as family (other's best interest/not selfish). I don't know how common these friendships are.

--hide--



But you could apply this to your relationships with co-workers and neighbors; these things don't require intimacy.

I can do all of these things without letting someone inside.


I'm stating that a real friendship has a certain level of intimacy, and that a man and a woman know that their roles (in a general, if not individual sense) in the big scheme of things are far greater than merely being friends on a platonic level.

A man and a woman simply cannot get around this issue, and although I'm not going to argue with someone who tells me that he or she has managed this kind of a relationship, I find it hard to believe that one of the two people did not have greater designs for the relationship than the other did.



Mar 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-848472 said: This is a great topic to ponder.I believe there needs to be purity of intention, otherwis...
(Quote) Donna-848472 said:

This is a great topic to ponder.

I believe there needs to be purity of intention, otherwise there is chaos. Marriage should not have to enter in the future for true friendship with the opposite sex. Christ calls us to be brothers and sister to each other. I consider the term brother to be a friend.

--hide--



But brothers and sisters are not friends, regardless of how we consider the term. (They may very well be our friends, but it's certainly not automatic. I know people who no longer talk to certain brothers or sisters.)


I'll put the question to you, Donna: When a man and a woman share a non-physical intimacy, what is the natural barrier that prevents them from moving towards marriage? Because someone has to be hitting the brakes. In one post on this thread, the man had a vocation to the priesthood, which would certainly serve to interrupt any growing attraction between two people.







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