Personally, I would look for someone around 29 to 36. If he was 2 or 3 years younger then I can also deal with that. I think age is relative and I believe that age is nothing but a number when it comes to maturity. There are 30+ guys who act like in their 20's and vice versa. The most important thing is that you get to know each other very well and to see if you're comfortable with each other. But a 20 year age gap is a bit creepy for me, I'm definitely not looking for a father figure nor do I want to be his mother/cougar :)
Closer to 50, some have aged well, and enjoyed good health, some not. The age gap becomes much more noticeable again. Even with generational issues and experiences. (I am just below the 'baby boomer' generation and I have cousins 6 to 12 years older than me.........what a difference! My cousins ( not all people this age)...they are the leftover hippie generation, burning bras, women's lib, don't trust the government, eveything should be a program, save the whales, kill the babies, cure the environment but who cares about curing the soul, granola, marijuana and Birkenstock)...I cant even relate to these ideas, and they actually include people born in 1962 ( 1 year younger than me) as part of this baby boom generation!
So if you are 24.....5 years younger is a 19 year old, ten years younger is a 14 year old kid! Well, at 49, 11 years older is 60! UGH!! My head is still in relative middle age, not 'grandparents' age.
I am not yet 50, and it seems the majority of people reaching out to me are well into their 60s. I'm sure they are lovely people and I dont mean to be unkind....as I'm not Angelina, and I'm not looking for Brad Pitt!
But I feel I am very active, am fairly attractive for my age( not dated looking in my style or attitudes), enjoy good health, have a variety of interests, stable and I feel young and energetic....etc. I would like someone closer to my age. Ideal would be 47 to 52...a five year range. I know that may seem very narrow, and so, at this stage in life, I open it up a bit: 45 - 55. This is a 10 years span and I think is reasonable.
I have had some suggest that age should not be an issue. Well, if that is so, the 63 year olds (13 years older than me) that have reached out to me should have no trouble meeting my mom. She is 76, looks fantastic for her age, and is in good health, and a fun person ( great cook too)! I think most 63 year old men would cringe at dating at 76 year old women. They probably have family members/Aunties that age!
My point is ....when one is older (50 +), that 12 - 15 year age difference becomes a LOT again. It feels like a MUCH BIGGER GAP than the difference between 32 and 45.
I have had the experience of dating professional women who were 34 and 36, 10+ years my junior to be very grounded healthy, and marriage material, while others have been in their late 20's, early 30's and even 5 years older than me and they seem personally stuck at age 18 or 21, irresponsible, immature and crazy.
My theory is this, that age is a state of mind and of maturity. I have seen happily married couples with up to 20 years age differences who share laughter, love, outdoor activities, cultural interests, faith, and can also be serious when they need to be - the whole package in my mind.
Finding that partner is the challenge for me, because for some woman I have dated, either do not really know what they want in a partner or in life, lack life experiences, and in other cases have strong preconceived notions of age differences rather than focusing and accessing what truly matters - the character, chemistry, positive traits, values, fun, laughter and important attributes of the partner.
What do you think ladies?
Why is it more acceptable for a man to date a woman significantly younger
than him than it is for a woman to do the same?