Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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William, you sound like you have your head screwed on properly.
As for the people you're meeting....either they do not understand what a relationship is supposed to me or they are so anxious to enter into one that they are not stopping to think practically.
The head must rule the heart, IMHO.
What kind of success rate do you guess marriages like that would have?
What I want to see in a profile are the words "Looking for a relationship leading to marriage." If I see "Looking for friends first" I assume they are not serious about finding a spouse but only in widening their friend base.. I usually encourage women to remove any reference to being friends first from their profile if they want a husband.
The first thing I assume is that I shouldn't assume anything.
There's a wide range of interpretations, as we've often seen in the forums. And that would apply to profiles, too.
If there's some doubt as to what another person really meant, ask!!! Now's the time -- at the very beginning -- to be clear about what we're seeking. This is meant mainly for the guys, but can apply to the ladies as well.
Just though I write on this subject, and to see what you think about. When two people are single and are looking for a realtionship, or a friendship to bloom into a realtionship, the desire to want the same thing at the same time can be trying. As man, I come to believe in being a friend frist and to see where and what we have in common, and build on that thread, and to slowly open the way for nature to take her course on what the woman wants. If one wants a friendship to last, one should devote some time and effort into establishing some common ground in terms of scheduling when to meet, and what events they would like to partake in. Also, as man I take the time to ask questions, and to see what all the woman likes, and does not like, thereby knowning what to do, and what not to on down the road in the friendship stage. The woman should do the same in that it enables both parties to act accordingly, and begin to know what to expect from the other one. Yet, some men and women want to rust things and get on the topic marriage frist without being friends first, so that line of thinking, and wanting will not last in the long run. Being better engaged in the person's needs, and concerns will enhance the chances of marriage, and that both parites will feel equal in all dimensions of being on the same page. That is why I am on this site to find firiends, and to establish common ground, and to see where to can mature from there. Alright, that is my two cents, on this topic, what are your thought on it?
Wow Brandon, just reading this causes me to think of just how complicated it is nowadays, years ago before the Internet thing, I don't recall ever thinking and analyzing everything. But, will man and woman ever be considered equal? In all dimensions? That sounds complicated.
Internet dating vs. real life situations are very different, and this "on the same page" business is one such.
For better or worse, internet dating really is about shopping. You put up what you want, what your expectations are, and you brutally weed out those individuals who don't match your percieved standards or list. In this situation you can put "I want marriage" and if the web thing works for you, that's probably what will happen. Saying you want a "friendship first" on internet singles' sites, especially a Catholic one, since we're all hopefully viewing marriage in a different light than our secular brothers and sisters, is kind of assinine and a waste of time.
You can pretty much cover all the basics before you even meet. The standard A/S/L stuff, the schooling/grew up place/job/goals/places travelled, to our more pressing matters ie. Catholicism/contraception/fornication.
So then you realise all your morals and ethics match up, you're in your desired age range, you don't vomit a little into your mouth when you check out their photos, so you meet up. Expand on conversations had via email, find you don't need to peg your nose and the other has no gravy stains. All a good sign. From there, why then the faffing about? People are too hung up on that elusive "butterflies" sensation. The whole "love at first sight" is really a giant secular crock.
Now, real life? Well, you can't rock up to some guy you've just met and ask "So, what do you think is the best method of NFP?" or "What hymns do you want at the wedding ceremony".
Comparing RL dating situations and online singles' sites is like comparing apples and five megaton nuclear warheads.
RL obviously has that added excitement, time spent, and is probably more personal and respectful of the dignity of the other, internet dating; well, it cuts to the chase pretty quickly.