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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Mar 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Barbara- People have trouble letting go due to hor...
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said:
Quote:
Marian-83994 said:

Barbara- People have trouble letting go due to hormones released during or at the culmination of sexual activity. You probably have heard of Oxytocin and Vasopressin. A woman has Oxytocin released during foreplay and sexual intercourse and the man has Vasopressin released at climax. So there you go. Those are our bonding chemicals, and we experience a spiritual tie to the person as well. Persons have to pray to break those ties in order to be able to move on. Lots of us are walking around wounded due to the past involvement with others and are afraid to date now- perhaps due to these left over and unresolved feelings.




Wow Marian. I knew there are spiritual, and of course emotional, ties when people are intimate and that sometimes a person needs to be purged of that before moving on to a new relationship. But I had no idea it was chemical. That's even worse.
--hide--


Or better. Knowledge is power. Knowing it is partly chemical makes it something one can address rationally, don't you think?

Like getting a chemical out of your system. Like working out and jogging to purge onesself of a chemical. It can be seen as: Metabolizing it out of your system so to speak. But yes these chemicals make it a heightened experience, and this is why it is hard to let go.

Many of us have studied and now know that we get a surge of endorphins when we fall in love and it lasts about two years.

For some persons, who never intend to fall in love, they may not experience any bonding.

Mar 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Barbara-689659 said: This is a situation I've encountered several times, in the three years I've been dating...
(Quote) Barbara-689659 said:

This is a situation I've encountered several times, in the three years I've been dating: a relationship develops to the point where we are seeing each other exclusively. The guy and I agree we both want a pure, holy Catholic friendship, time to discern if marriage is a possibility. Then the guy mentions he's still seeing a girlfriend with whom he's been intimate. He says they're "just friends," but he confides in her, or relies on her guidance, or she's not ready to let go. That's a huge red flag to me, that he's hanging on to an intimate relationship with another woman. At that point I ask him to decide whether he wants to let go of that past relationship, or stop seeing me. To me, there's nothing pure and holy in hanging on to a former partner with whom you've been intimate.


I'm not talking about ex-wives, where children are involved, just ex-girlfriends or wives, no children. The issue, to me, is purity. I know some people will say my standards are too high, but why should I be expected to be "one of many" if we're supposedly in an exclusive relationship? What do you think? Would like to get some guys' views on this as well. Can you let go of past intimate relationships?

--hide--
Yep,Red Flag.Time to move on.Next!

Mar 26th 2013 new
(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Or better. Knowledge is power. Knowing it is partly chemical makes it something one can address rationa...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



Or better. Knowledge is power. Knowing it is partly chemical makes it something one can address rationally, don't you think?

Like getting a chemical out of your system. Like working out and jogging to purge onesself of a chemical. It can be seen as: Metabolizing it out of your system so to speak. But yes these chemicals make it a heightened experience, and this is why it is hard to let go.

Many of us have studied and now know that we get a surge of endorphins when we fall in love and it lasts about two years.

For some persons, who never intend to fall in love, they may not experience any bonding.

--hide--


Well, if this isn't a good argument supporting chastity, I don't know what is. If the public school systems insistes on teaching sex ed to teens, shouldn't this be part of the curriculum, purely from a scientific perspective?
Mar 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Or better. Knowledge is power. Knowing it ...
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said:
Quote:
Marian-83994 said:



Or better. Knowledge is power. Knowing it is partly chemical makes it something one can address rationally, don't you think?

Like getting a chemical out of your system. Like working out and jogging to purge onesself of a chemical. It can be seen as: Metabolizing it out of your system so to speak. But yes these chemicals make it a heightened experience, and this is why it is hard to let go.

Many of us have studied and now know that we get a surge of endorphins when we fall in love and it lasts about two years.

For some persons, who never intend to fall in love, they may not experience any bonding.




Well, if this isn't a good argument supporting chastity, I don't know what is. If the public school systems insistes on teaching sex ed to teens, shouldn't this be part of the curriculum, purely from a scientific perspective?
--hide--


Yes, absolutely!!

Mar 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: (Quote) Josephine-586127 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: ...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

Quote:
Josephine-586127 said:
Quote:
Marian-83994 said:

Barbara- People have trouble letting go due to hormones released during or at the culmination of sexual activity. You probably have heard of Oxytocin and Vasopressin. A woman has Oxytocin released during foreplay and sexual intercourse and the man has Vasopressin released at climax. So there you go. Those are our bonding chemicals, and we experience a spiritual tie to the person as well. Persons have to pray to break those ties in order to be able to move on. Lots of us are walking around wounded due to the past involvement with others and are afraid to date now- perhaps due to these left over and unresolved feelings.




Wow Marian. I knew there are spiritual, and of course emotional, ties when people are intimate and that sometimes a person needs to be purged of that before moving on to a new relationship. But I had no idea it was chemical. That's even worse.



Or better. Knowledge is power. Knowing it is partly chemical makes it something one can address rationally, don't you think?

Like getting a chemical out of your system. Like working out and jogging to purge onesself of a chemical. It can be seen as: Metabolizing it out of your system so to speak. But yes these chemicals make it a heightened experience, and this is why it is hard to let go.

Many of us have studied and now know that we get a surge of endorphins when we fall in love and it lasts about two years.

For some persons, who never intend to fall in love, they may not experience any bonding.

--hide--


Thanks for reminding me of this, Marian! That's why God's way is the only way to go! Yes, it is important to get out of the trap by praying, getting support from others, and releasing endorphins during exercise. That explains why people who have addictive behaviors go from one sexual relationship to the next to get that chemical fix.

Mar 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: Well, if this isn't a good argument supporting chastity, I don't know what is. If th...
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said:

Well, if this isn't a good argument supporting chastity, I don't know what is. If the public school systems insistes on teaching sex ed to teens, shouldn't this be part of the curriculum, purely from a scientific perspective?
--hide--
Amen.

Mar 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Or better. Knowledge is power. Knowing it ...
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said:
Quote:
Marian-83994 said:



Or better. Knowledge is power. Knowing it is partly chemical makes it something one can address rationally, don't you think?

Like getting a chemical out of your system. Like working out and jogging to purge onesself of a chemical. It can be seen as: Metabolizing it out of your system so to speak. But yes these chemicals make it a heightened experience, and this is why it is hard to let go.

Many of us have studied and now know that we get a surge of endorphins when we fall in love and it lasts about two years.

For some persons, who never intend to fall in love, they may not experience any bonding.




Well, if this isn't a good argument supporting chastity, I don't know what is. If the public school systems insistes on teaching sex ed to teens, shouldn't this be part of the curriculum, purely from a scientific perspective?
--hide--


Isn't it amazing? YES It should be part of the curriculum. I wonder if they can ever move back toward teaching abstinence. You do know Obama stopped all funding for that right?

I would imagine that someone in the medical or science field would have to lobby to get it reopened to teach about chemical bonding.


(I actually chose to avoid a certain two job interviews where I was going to have to teach on and promote contraception as it turns out. I reread the job description and thought NO WAY! THIS SHOWED me WHAT the funding STREAMS are doing right now. This was 2 years back during my unemployment.)

I do not know what is taught in middle school but I suppose a few children might be able to take it seriously if forewarned.

Personally I became aware of these strange bonding experiences at a very young age just through one kiss! So I figured WOW this is powerful! If the sex education could ve revamped, it should include what you are mentioning---I wonder how it could happen when it seems other vpoices are screaming so much louder.

Mar 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Barbara-689659 said: This is a situation I've encountered several times, in the three years I've been dating...
(Quote) Barbara-689659 said:

This is a situation I've encountered several times, in the three years I've been dating: a relationship develops to the point where we are seeing each other exclusively. The guy and I agree we both want a pure, holy Catholic friendship, time to discern if marriage is a possibility. Then the guy mentions he's still seeing a girlfriend with whom he's been intimate. He says they're "just friends," but he confides in her, or relies on her guidance, or she's not ready to let go. That's a huge red flag to me, that he's hanging on to an intimate relationship with another woman. At that point I ask him to decide whether he wants to let go of that past relationship, or stop seeing me. To me, there's nothing pure and holy in hanging on to a former partner with whom you've been intimate.


I'm not talking about ex-wives, where children are involved, just ex-girlfriends or wives, no children. The issue, to me, is purity. I know some people will say my standards are too high, but why should I be expected to be "one of many" if we're supposedly in an exclusive relationship? What do you think? Would like to get some guys' views on this as well. Can you let go of past intimate relationships?

--hide--


When you let go, you grow....And if you start right toward the path of holiness, you will be amazed at how good God is. He will lead you to His best. Forgive and be healed. Trust in Jesus who loves us the most! Dove

Mar 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: Yep,Red Flag.Time to move on.Next!
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

Yep,Red Flag.Time to move on.Next!

--hide--

You need to move on. Next !!!

Mar 26th 2013 new

Thank you, Rosemarie. Your comment is beautiful and puts it all into perspective for me.Dove

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