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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jun 08 new
Even without the intimacy, I wouldn't look very kindly on a man who insisted on being around one-on-one and confiding things (that he wouldn't tell me (?)) to a past love interest. A man who I love well enough to marry, would be my best friend and I should be his. By all means.. have his buddies- even female ones, but in the end, I should be his one and only and the others should be mere fillers. A divided heart..like Marian said so aptly.
Jul 01 new
(quote) Barbara-689659 said:

This is a situation I've encountered several times, in the three years I've been dating: a relationship develops to the point where we are seeing each other exclusively. The guy and I agree we both want a pure, holy Catholic friendship, time to discern if marriage is a possibility. Then the guy mentions he's still seeing a girlfriend with whom he's been intimate. He says they're "just friends," but he confides in her, or relies on her guidance, or she's not ready to let go. That's a huge red flag to me, that he's hanging on to an intimate relationship with another woman. At that point I ask him to decide whether he wants to let go of that past relationship, or stop seeing me. To me, there's nothing pure and holy in hanging on to a former partner with whom you've been intimate.


I'm not talking about ex-wives, where children are involved, just ex-girlfriends or wives, no children. The issue, to me, is purity. I know some people will say my standards are too high, but why should I be expected to be "one of many" if we're supposedly in an exclusive relationship? What do you think? Would like to get some guys' views on this as well. Can you let go of past intimate relationships?

Praying Hi Barbara, and no, your standards aren't too high. If they were, you would have kicked him to the curb long ago and I still recommend that!

God Bless!
Jul 01 new
Eventually we must let go and accept that a relationship has ended. I've experienced terrible heartbreak in the past. When my marriage ended I nearly drank myself to death. When a recent relationship ended, I started to act crazy,but then doubled down on prayer, family activities, and being of service to others. This helped get me "out of myself" and that eased the selfish pain I was enduring.

God doesn't cause us pain but he gives us the opportunity to use the pain we experience in a productive manner. We can use the pain of heartbreak either to grow spiritually and emotionally - or to regress.

Acceptance is the key to serenity. Resentment will kill us.

Jul 01 new
Agreed. Even with intimacy not part of the equation, he's confiding in another. I have gotten over many relationships in all my years of dating..some intimate, some not. It's all the same to me, you need to learn and move on. Only possible way is to pray and do for others, then you will heal.
Jul 03 new
"we are called to serve, not be served" Good reminder!
Jul 03 new
Sometmes it's hard to understand God's plan for us. I look for reasons "why" my relationship ended and I guess I'll never know. I just need to believe the Lord has a better plan for me and my life.
It is hard to forget tho...
Jul 05 new
(quote) Trish-977181 said: Sometmes it's hard to understand God's plan for us. I look for reasons "why" my relationship ended and I guess I'll never know. I just need to believe the Lord has a better plan for me and my life.
It is hard to forget tho...
A wise member of CM once said "When God takes away our ice cream cone, it's only so he can give us a sundae."

We have to trust God and LOVE him. If we do that and keep doing the next right thing, our lives just seem to work out well. When we try to run things ourselves is when we make a mess of it. We have to work, but we must realize we're not in charge of our lives - God is.
Jul 05 new
(quote) David-364112 said: A wise member of CM once said "When God takes away our ice cream cone, it's only so he can give us a sundae."

We have to trust God and LOVE him. If we do that and keep doing the next right thing, our lives just seem to work out well. When we try to run things ourselves is when we make a mess of it. We have to work, but we must realize we're not in charge of our lives - God is.
Thanks David - I like that!
God is in charge and taking this thing one day at a time helps. Surrendering to his will for me is something I am struggling with and working on.
Jul 05 new



Who sets the proper speed limits..??
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