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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Cindy-57124 said: I can relate... cuz I am perfect !!!
(Quote) Cindy-57124 said:

I can relate... cuz I am perfect !!!

--hide--
Awww, Cindy, I wish I had your self-esteem! And I trly mean hat. After all, you're a child of God and I am, too. So why don't we all just decie to get serious and truly love one another?

Mar 25th 2013 new

And why in the world don't I proofread my comments before I hit send?

Mar 25th 2013 new

Very interesting.
I've always thought that those who demand perfection are, in fact, supremely self-satisfied. Being perfect, they deserve -- and so can demand! -- perfection in others.

Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Cindy-57124 said: I can relate... cuz I am perfect !!!
(Quote) Cindy-57124 said:

I can relate... cuz I am perfect !!!

--hide--


She's right! She is!! I know!!

But seriously, I have found this to be true, the quotes, I'm not perfect nor do I seek perfection in a man or anyone for that matter, however, I have found more often than not, when I've attempted to point out to a gent, why I may have been unhappy about a comment/or behaviour, it suddenly becomes MY fault that they behaved that way, I'm of the opinion that communication is of the utmost importance in bourgening relationships but if it falls apart, it can lead to angry and resentment, and if a person lacks certain maturity, it can go from bad to worse when it can have easily been remedied. I don't get it, if one is upset or something is bothering you, just communicate it, it is very healing, especially if done with respect and charity.

Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Beverly-936499 said: Absolutely. Not just about male/female love. I'm having a hard time right now finding foreg...
(Quote) Beverly-936499 said:

Absolutely. Not just about male/female love. I'm having a hard time right now finding foregiveness for what I perceive to have been a real outrage directed to me. I hate myself for it, and the more I hate myself for it, the more I angry I am at the person who wronged me. I am asking for foregiveness and charity - but not feeliing it yet.

--hide--
It's easier to forgive a person than it is to forget the wrong that was done. Normal reaction; normal feeling. But....until and unless you let go, the problem won't get better. By letting go, getting it behind you, you regain your freedom. The wrong that was done to you is most likely hurting you more than it is the other person.

Not intending to sound preachy here, but it works. Is it easy? No. And that answer comes from personal experience.

This is a good week to think about forgiveness, considering Jesus on the Cross, saying "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." And that is coming from Someone who did no harm, and was tortured in the worst possible way.

Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Very interesting.I've always thought that those who demand perfection are, in fact, supre...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Very interesting.
I've always thought that those who demand perfection are, in fact, supremely self-satisfied. Being perfect, they deserve -- and so can demand! -- perfection in others.

--hide--
Such people might be more delusional than perfect. scratchchin

Mar 25th 2013 new

All of you - all of you are exactly correct. I've done a lot of a lot of soul searching tonight about the illness, in body and mind, of the person to whom I referred. Just sick. Not right - for whatever reason - just sick. My anger is directed at myself internally for not seeing it, for not recognizing it, and not helping her and myself long before a situation became a crises. Shame on me.


I am always amazed at how God sends angels to us when we need them most. I opened this thread up last night and saw the truth of it immediately and in a way that I had to acknowledge my own frailty.


Thank you, Margo, and thank you all of you.

Mar 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Beverly-936499 said: Absolutely. Not just about male/female love. I'm having a hard time right now finding foreg...
(Quote) Beverly-936499 said:

Absolutely. Not just about male/female love. I'm having a hard time right now finding foregiveness for what I perceive to have been a real outrage directed to me. I hate myself for it, and the more I hate myself for it, the more I angry I am at the person who wronged me. I am asking for foregiveness and charity - but not feeliing it yet.

--hide--

I feel for you Beverly! I was ushered out of my home by a process server 15 years ago because of false a accusation of spousal abuse. It took many months, a lot of cigarettes (I smoked back then) and a lot of prayer to get me where I could find forgiveness for that wrong. as it has helped countless others seeking forgiveness to ponder that "gotcha" on the back side of "...forgive us our trespasses... as we forgive those who trespass against us..." Praying

God bless you and good luck finding forgiveness, even though I don't know what wrong was perpetrated!

Hang in there!

Jerry

Mar 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Beverly-936499 said: All of you - all of you are exactly correct. I've done a lot of a lot of soul searching ton...
(Quote) Beverly-936499 said:

All of you - all of you are exactly correct. I've done a lot of a lot of soul searching tonight about the illness, in body and mind, of the person to whom I referred. Just sick. Not right - for whatever reason - just sick. My anger is directed at myself internally for not seeing it, for not recognizing it, and not helping her and myself long before a situation became a crises. Shame on me.


I am always amazed at how God sends angels to us when we need them most. I opened this thread up last night and saw the truth of it immediately and in a way that I had to acknowledge my own frailty.


Thank you, Margo, and thank you all of you.

--hide--
Beverly -- just a couple suggestions. Relax, breathe easy, and try to set this problem aside for the time being, unless you believe you can solve it. It might take time though. Meanwhile, don't beat yourself up and add to the strain you are under.

Life isn't always fair -- some things happen that surely suck, but if we're stuck in a rut we're not going to move forward.

Just ask the Good Lord for some peaceful days, then try to sort out your situation. Sounds as if you need a break from what's bothering you. hug

Mar 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Margo-404841 said: From the book "The Seven Stories of Love," by Marcia Millman: "...
(Quote) Margo-404841 said:

From the book "The Seven Stories of Love," by Marcia Millman:

"People who accept themselves do not demand perfection in others, and therefore, they don't have as much trouble making a commitment to love. But a person with low self-esteem who can't face his own insecurities often projects his self-hatred onto other people and constantly focuses on the other person's flaws. If he could find a partner who ws flawless, he coul escape hisself-hatred by merging with that perfection, nd he may search the world for that perfection. But no one is perfect, and haating himself, he sees only flaws all around him and despises what he can't bear to see in himself. No one is ever good enough for such a person, and he cruelly reminds them of how they fall short. For these people, it's never the right time or the right place or the right person."

Of course, I see myself in this, or I wouldn't have brought it up. Thoughts, anyone?

--hide--

That was wonderful and deep and gave me lots to examine in myself and my relationships both romantic and otherwise. Thanks so much Margo.

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