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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

03/26/2013 new

(Quote) Steven-928693 said: Beverly , when we become angry there is feeling we bypass & that's call hurt . With that said a...
(Quote) Steven-928693 said: Beverly , when we become angry there is feeling we bypass & that's call hurt . With that said ask yourself how do get past this. What ever the situation is do you want to fester in you & go round & round with no closer . Try not to let it win over you by handcuffing you. Or it will be like a ball & chain. Offer it up & pray to forgive it . Then true peice will come to you !
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Steven, Welcome to Catholic Match! May you feel welcome here, post a lot, and find the love of your life, if that is what you're seeking. Peace to you.

03/26/2013 new

(Quote) Steven-924301 said: (Quote) Beverly, I find myself in the same boat, knowing that forgiving is necessary to my own well-bei...
(Quote) Steven-924301 said: [quote] Beverly, I find myself in the same boat, knowing that forgiving is necessary to my own well-being and closeness to God and wanting to forgive, yet not feeling it at all. I'll be mentioning that in Confession tomorrow and will pray for you as well. I confess I do not know what else to do.
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Steven, well said. Thanks for reaching out in prayer.

03/26/2013 new

(Quote) Steven-924301 said: (Quote) Beverly, I find myself in the same boat, knowing that forgiving is necessary to my own well-bei...
(Quote) Steven-924301 said: [quote] Beverly, I find myself in the same boat, knowing that forgiving is necessary to my own well-being and closeness to God and wanting to forgive, yet not feeling it at all. I'll be mentioning that in Confession tomorrow and will pray for you as well. I confess I do not know what else to do.
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Steven, well said. Thanks for reaching out in prayer.

03/26/2013 new

(Quote) Margo-404841 said: From the book "The Seven Stories of Love," by Marcia Millman: "...
(Quote) Margo-404841 said:

From the book "The Seven Stories of Love," by Marcia Millman:

"People who accept themselves do not demand perfection in others, and therefore, they don't have as much trouble making a commitment to love. But a person with low self-esteem who can't face his own insecurities often projects his self-hatred onto other people and constantly focuses on the other person's flaws. If he could find a partner who ws flawless, he coul escape hisself-hatred by merging with that perfection, nd he may search the world for that perfection. But no one is perfect, and haating himself, he sees only flaws all around him and despises what he can't bear to see in himself. No one is ever good enough for such a person, and he cruelly reminds them of how they fall short. For these people, it's never the right time or the right place or the right person."

Of course, I see myself in this, or I wouldn't have brought it up. Thoughts, anyone?

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I agree with this to a certain extent. However, I believe that low self- esteem causes us to settle for a significant other that is not right for us which causes us to try to "fix" them to be the person we want them to be. I think the main cause of divorce today is from lack of proper discernment before marriage.

03/26/2013 new
Wow..l dates someone who was always seeingy flaws...but l have done the same thing to a degree..
03/27/2013 new

The chapter on Overcoming Postponement and Avoidance ends with, "Second chances do come, but only to those who accept that you don't avoid death by protecting yourself from life." Discussion questions include:

Have you always become involved with people who are unavailable, or live out of town, or will never be committed to you? If you aren't sure how serious they are abt you, do you ask them the questions that will give you the answers? Have you withdrawn from life and love because you were hurt before? What do you really want in life, and how much time do you think you have to get it? Are you wasting so much time that you are letting your chance to have those things slip away?
03/27/2013 new

(Quote) Margo-404841 said: From the book "The Seven Stories of Love," by Marcia Millman: "...
(Quote) Margo-404841 said:

From the book "The Seven Stories of Love," by Marcia Millman:

"People who accept themselves do not demand perfection in others, and therefore, they don't have as much trouble making a commitment to love. But a person with low self-esteem who can't face his own insecurities often projects his self-hatred onto other people and constantly focuses on the other person's flaws. If he could find a partner who ws flawless, he coul escape hisself-hatred by merging with that perfection, nd he may search the world for that perfection. But no one is perfect, and haating himself, he sees only flaws all around him and despises what he can't bear to see in himself. No one is ever good enough for such a person, and he cruelly reminds them of how they fall short. For these people, it's never the right time or the right place or the right person."

Of course, I see myself in this, or I wouldn't have brought it up. Thoughts, anyone?

--hide--


Actually, I have tolerated a lot with one person, but end up broken-hearted. I am on the other side of the fence. But if you mean by "accepting" also accepting abuse and not having some boundaries, then I disagree with the interpretation of the quote. We ought to have healthy boundaries. Even GOD HIMSELF has boundaries as far as things He just does not permit people to get away with. He'll permit them to do it, but then there is a price to pay in restitution for that. Likewise, people who have "imperfections" that are due to their extreme lack of charity due to narcissism and just are dishonest end up causing natural riffs in their close relationships, as THEIR expectations for "total acceptance" includes being able to hurt those who accept them to any degree.

For me, I have to be careful because I am so eager, hopeful and trusting. I am very grateful to God that He has sustained me in grace to not commit a mortal sin against Him while in courtship, because NO MAN is worth my relationship with Him --- not for a single moment. But if THAT itself ends up being a threat to a man, that they feel they cannot be as able to honor that committment to God and to honor me as a potential spouse in chastity, then the problem is not with me but with him. God has boundaries, and so should we. However, a healthy boundary doesn't reflect back on ourselves, but on God and the dignity that He has placed on us through grace won by the Passion and death of our Lord.

03/27/2013 new
Came across this lovely reminder:

LIFE

Stay away from Anger.
It hurts only You and nobody else.
If you are right, then there is no need to get angry,
and if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.

Patience with family is love,
Patience with others is respect,
Patience with self is confidence and
Patience with GOD is faith.

Never think hard about the past, it brings tears.
Don't think more about the future, it brings fear.
Live this moment with a Smile, it brings cheer.

Every test in our life makes us bitter or better,
Every problem comes to make us or break us,
The choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious.

Search for a beautiful heart not a beautiful face.
Beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful.

Do you know why God created gaps between fingers?
So that someone who is special to you comes
and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.
Never forget this advice!

Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong,
Success keeps You Glowing,
and But Only God keeps You Going!

When you don't give up, you cannot fail.

May those in need of change to understand love, care, commitment and raised self-esteem be transformed this Easter! HAPPY HOLY WEEK!
03/27/2013 new

(Quote) Cliff-924625 said: Came across this lovely reminder:LIFESearch for a beautiful heart not a beautiful fa...
(Quote) Cliff-924625 said: Came across this lovely reminder:

LIFE


Search for a beautiful heart not a beautiful face.
Beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful.

Do you know why God created gaps between fingers?
So that someone who is special to you comes
and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.
Never forget this advice!

Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong,
Success keeps You Glowing,
and But Only God keeps You Going!

When you don't give up, you cannot fail.

May those in need of change to understand love, care, commitment and raised self-esteem be transformed this Easter! HAPPY HOLY WEEK!
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Thank you for sending these beautiful thoughts our way.


I especially like the part about searching for a beautiful heart -- reminds me of what it says in Proverbs 31:10-31 especially verse 30: Charm is deceptive & beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.


I also like the part about the gaps between fingers. I keep hoping, as I'm sure most (if not all) of us on CM are, that God will help us find that special someone with whom we can hold hands forever.



03/27/2013 new
(Quote) Cliff-924625 said: Came across this lovely reminder:LIFEStay away from Anger. It hurts only You and nobody else.<...
(Quote) Cliff-924625 said: Came across this lovely reminder:

LIFE

Stay away from Anger.
It hurts only You and nobody else.
If you are right, then there is no need to get angry,
and if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.

Patience with family is love,
Patience with others is respect,
Patience with self is confidence and
Patience with GOD is faith.

Never think hard about the past, it brings tears.
Don't think more about the future, it brings fear.
Live this moment with a Smile, it brings cheer.

Every test in our life makes us bitter or better,
Every problem comes to make us or break us,
The choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious.

Search for a beautiful heart not a beautiful face.
Beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful.

Do you know why God created gaps between fingers?
So that someone who is special to you comes
and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.
Never forget this advice!

Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong,
Success keeps You Glowing,
and But Only God keeps You Going!

When you don't give up, you cannot fail.

May those in need of change to understand love, care, commitment and raised self-esteem be transformed this Easter!

HAPPY HOLY WEEK!

--hide--


Wow! Thanks Cliff for the post, love it
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