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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Mar 27th 2013 new

Just some overall thoughts, not necessarily focused on any one response above...

For any relationship to evolve, I feel you have to have a balance of both. Yes, guard your heart a bit, but not too much. You have to be willing to take a risk. After all, the end result could be fabulous! Yes, be vulnerable a bit, but not too much. Don't go into any relationship with your head in the sand.

I know, not much help! Years ago, I was watching a movie and heard a line that really struck me..."I have been so afraid of the bad things, that I have missed out on the good things." At that time, I realized that I was guarding my heart so much, that I was missing out on wonderful opportunities. It is hard to put yourself out there and risk being hurt. However, I truly believe that I have learned something from every relationship that I have been in. Good or bad, me ending it or him ending it, long term or short term, I took something away from each relationship. I learned things about myself, what I want and don't want in a relationship and partner. Yes, it hurts going through it, but in the end, if it leads me to the one person God has in store for me, aren't I better off?

Mar 27th 2013 new

Good advice, William! Thanks! :)

Mar 27th 2013 new

Well said Beth. Particularly agree with your last sentence, "Yes, it hurts going through it, but in the end, if it leads me to the one person God has in store for me, aren't I better off?"

Mar 27th 2013 new

Hi Kelly. An important balance to strike, I think... or so I've learned from my utter failure, at times, to do so. Thankfully, my experience has taught me to guard my heart more closely. Without becoming cynical, man-hating, or overly guarded. Yet. wink


Continue to live for God, my sister, and have a great Holy Week!

Mar 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Kelly-846180 said: This topic is something I think many of us singles struggle with as we get to know others and dat...
(Quote) Kelly-846180 said:

This topic is something I think many of us singles struggle with as we get to know others and date. If anyone has any advice, I'm all ears!


I think it is important that we protect ourselves and guard our hearts, but this can only go so far. At some point, we need to be open to giving ourselves emotionally to another person. Finding the balance between the two is where I personally struggle! I'm usually either too extreme one way or another.

--hide--

Kelly, my thoughts are that it is impossible to guard the heart. Love has a mind of it's own. I have a friend who makes really, really bad decisions when it comes to dating guys. She has now asked us to 'interview' the guys informally after so many dates to see what we think. I think this is wise. When I person really likes another person, they don't think clearly. This is my opinion anyway. Good luck!

Mar 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Kelly-846180 said: This topic is something I think many of us singles struggle with as we get to know others and dat...
(Quote) Kelly-846180 said:

This topic is something I think many of us singles struggle with as we get to know others and date. If anyone has any advice, I'm all ears!


I think it is important that we protect ourselves and guard our hearts, but this can only go so far. At some point, we need to be open to giving ourselves emotionally to another person. Finding the balance between the two is where I personally struggle! I'm usually either too extreme one way or another.

--hide--
A guarded heart is not an open heart, placing conditions upon love when that emotion should be unconditional. It's been many years since I took my pre-Cana, but I seem to remember this topic was discussed and the Church's stance was disapproving of conditional love. I understand and appreciate that when love is betrayed or one suffers through the pain of a dissolution of a relationship, the natural reaction is to raise the bridge and fill the moat. But for me, to make love conditional exponentially increases the chances that the relationship will fail.

Mar 28th 2013 new
(Quote) Kelly-846180 said: This topic is something I think many of us singles struggle with as we get to know others and date. If anyone ...
(Quote) Kelly-846180 said:

This topic is something I think many of us singles struggle with as we get to know others and date. If anyone has any advice, I'm all ears!


I think it is important that we protect ourselves and guard our hearts, but this can only go so far. At some point, we need to be open to giving ourselves emotionally to another person. Finding the balance between the two is where I personally struggle! I'm usually either too extreme one way or another.


--hide--
Hi Kelly. I find that whenever I am in a relationship, I want to be myself and give that person a view of my heart, my mind and my home. My home, where I am most comfortable, safe, and at ease with who I am is very vulnerable as is my heart. I have learned that my nature leaves me open but I am hoping that someday, the right person thinks my view is beautiful and complimentary to theirs. Life and love can be hurtful but tomorrow is a new day and another opportunity. Keep your person safe but leave your heart open. Eileen
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