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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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I love Boundless.org, the online Christian singles e-zine, and there is a great article today about the error of basing your dating/marriage decisions on whether someone is good looking enough for ya.

www.boundless.org

Wow, if people could actually embrace this concept, there would be a lot more marriages, and happy fulfilled people!

Mar 28th 2013 new

You mean what's inside could be a lot different than how the outside looks? Wow - too bad people haven't recognized that.


Relationships that start fast usually end fast.


Plus if you have kids, the first 2 years is spent teaching them to walk and talk. The next 16 years is telling them
to sit down and be quiet.


But, be kind to your kids. They're likely to be the ones who select your nursing home...w/ love .. if we have to go to a nursing home.

Mar 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: I love Boundless.org, the online Christian singles e-zine, and there is a great article today about t...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

I love Boundless.org, the online Christian singles e-zine, and there is a great article today about the error of basing your dating/marriage decisions on whether someone is good looking enough for ya.

www.boundless.org

Wow, if people could actually embrace this concept, there would be a lot more marriages, and happy fulfilled people!

--hide--


Excellent and very timely Pat! It is a Very important article to review how we ALL see this issue!

Mar 28th 2013 new

The fact pattern here is not some short relationship--they have been together for two years.

It just goes to show how deeply seated these "prejudices" we hold are, of who we deserve, who is "good enough" for us, what matters to us, really are.

Mar 28th 2013 new

That couple disturbs me. After what the girl wrote, I'd say, forget about ending the relationship because he's not handsome. How about ending it because YOU aren't good enough for him?
Sheesh.
I hope people like that are few and far between.

Mar 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: It just goes to show how deeply seated these "prejudices" we hold are, of who we deserve, who is &...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said: It just goes to show how deeply seated these "prejudices" we hold are, of who we deserve, who is "good enough" for us, what matters to us, really are.
--hide--


It is also disturbing that her parents were concerned about their looks as a couple and placing doubts in her mind for that reason. Hmm, hmm, hmm. I don't know even what to say about that.

Mar 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: I love Boundless.org, the online Christian singles e-zine, and there is a great article today about t...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

I love Boundless.org, the online Christian singles e-zine, and there is a great article today about the error of basing your dating/marriage decisions on whether someone is good looking enough for ya.

www.boundless.org

Wow, if people could actually embrace this concept, there would be a lot more marriages, and happy fulfilled people!

--hide--



I think we would all agree that attraction/chemistry has to be mutual, but I think she's been terribly unfair to this poor guy for allowing this to go for this long while she had doubts.

Mar 28th 2013 new

Yes she is terrible to date him for two years if she is hung up on looks, and apparently she came by that honestly because her family sounds shallow too, but I guess I wanted to focus attention not on this particular girl or her family, but on the things we should be thinking about instead of how perfect (or imperfect) someone's face or body is to us.

How many wonderful relationships have been sacrificed on this altar of the "perfect."

Mar 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said:How many wonderful relationships have been sacrificed on this altar of the "perfect."
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:How many wonderful relationships have been sacrificed on this altar of the "perfect."
--hide--
I think maybe we should add to that: "how many wonderful POTENTIAL relationships", because so many never get past the "Hey, he'd be perfect for you!" "Ewww, no, yuck, look at that shirt!" stage.

Mar 29th 2013 new

I think men and women are both as equally guilty as each other in this regard. And Catholics and Protestants are just as bad as those in the secular world.

How many threads are there about "where are all the good/Godly Catholic men/women?" And I say to myself "I'm right HERE! And look, there's a great Catholic bloke THERE and another strong woman of God over there... oh, but that's right, we're a little too large and a little too fugly for your liking..."

Following these threads you ususally see on the same page, some thread about "chemistry".

We hide behind this nonsense of "mutual attraction" as if its talking about whether we both like eating Chinese and animated movies. Its just a nice little Catholic way of saying "physical attraction". Its like how "charitable" has come to mean "Politically correct" for Catholics too affraid to stand up for the Truth.

This is a Catholic site, there are plenty of solid Catholic men and women here. The arguments that flare up over the 7/7s shows this. Yet, we all sit on our hands and say "Oh well, I had a F2F but there was no "chemistry".

Excuse my language, but what a load of absolute stock truck run off. The chunky stuff. WIth bits of grass in it. That's been sitting on the floor of the truck for a few weeks. In the Summer. Under a tree where pigeons nest.

I know enough Catholic men who are "good" Catholic men in the sense we like to use the word "good" on, and doesn't matter if its in RL or OL, for the vaste majority they don't just want a woman who goes to Mass each week and could tell you the difference between Billings and Creighton, they want that woman to be a nice, slender thang who can look good on their arm. Likewise, we have women here harping on about where's the good Catholic blokes, and then they have the audiacity to add the footnote "Oh, but you gotta have a million dollars and be a brain surgeon and be fit".

We're all really just deluding ourselves if we think its not happening in our little Catholic part of the world.

Personally, I know gosh darn well that guys will cut contact the moment they meet me, because I"m never going to feature on Covergirl. Good Catholic men who hand out the Eucharist at Mass, and they're just as shallow and vain as the atheists trying to pick up tramps at the Pub on Friday night. I personally know Catholic women who think its their God given right that they should have a handsome fellow.

We ALL need to grow up.

Imagine how successful this site would be if people stopped hanging so much on this chemistry/appearance nonsense.

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