Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
Richard this is one of the biggest "myths" of "online dating" if you talk to anyone who has met their spouse through CatholicMatch or even another site they will tell you that the initial introduction happened online and all of the "dating" was in person. Some people are better at communicating online or over the phone and can do it longer before meeting in person but even in those cases you don't really "know" until you met in person and spend time together. I met my wife through CatholicMatch and helped create the site and I would NEVER tell anyone that online communication is better than in-person. But not everything in life is ideal and God can you even the less ideal to bring forth His plan if we cooperate.
I have to agree Brian - I think there are a great many pluses for on line dating in getting to know the person. Also being open to really what God wants and by being open to everyone who contacts you without preconceived notions. Not saying that chemistry is not important, it is extremely important but sometimes God may have someone in store that we would have clicked next, if we had not been open.
IRL dating we look for the chemistry immediately and chemistry although important is not the whole picture, only a piece of the pie. Through the forums and taking some time to initially interact provides one with a better view of the other, rather than meeting and if not initially connecting immediately, writing the person off.
Richard, CM has a great Catholic Community besides on line dating, where people come together to pray on the Teleconference Rosary Calls. We pray for Admin and the site, we pray for our CM members, that they find "the one" God is calling them for as well as their various intentions.
There are also events that helps one broaden their CM Community so that they can be a support network to each other. CM has much to offer that the other sites do not. Be open and reach out in various way that the fruits God has given through the channels of CM and you may be pleasantly surprised.
Welcome aboard! My advice here is simple:
1. Put together an interesting profile. Your photo will catch the eyes of a lot of men, but if you really want to "hit it off" you should tell some interesting things about yourself, your interests, etc. Maybe it's just me, but an interesting profile will always catch my eye here on CM.
2. Don't take the "kid in the candy store" approach. Instead, take the "narrow my focus" approach. What I mean by this is that you shouldn't look upon "online dating" (I don't like this term) as a way to meet a lot of different men. Instead, you should use the CM matching criteria to narrow your focus down to a small, manageable number and see what happens.
3. Don't be disappointed in the results. If you send a message to someone you find interesting, keep in mind that not all of the folks here can respond to you. If someone isn't a paid member they won't be able to respond, and they probably won't even know that you sent the message. Also, remember that not everyone is on here on a regular basis. Some members may check in every few days, once a week, or even less frequently. Even if you don't get a response right away, be patient.
4. Keep track of folks you find interesting but who don't respond to your messages. Check back to see if they're still members a few weeks or months from now. If their profiles are gone, they've probably moved on. You should do the same.
Well, it's better than walking on hot coals!
1. Put God at the center of it, and don't lose that focus.
2. Remain open and positive. No one is going to take a chance on someone with huge walls to break down and a negative attitude.
3. Develop a tough skin. You have to be able to take a good deal of rejection and not take this too personally. This, combined with step 2, is a great challenge.
4. Guard your heart-- it is a treasure that must be deserved, earned, and protected. Choose wisely who you allow close to it; measure out access.
5. Take a chance on people! God made them and loves them. That in itself should be incentive to give them a shot.
Dawn, thank you for the advice.