(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: I have never been comfortable with meeting new people at dances (or for that matter, with people I've ...
(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: I have never been comfortable with meeting new people at dances (or for that matter, with people I've known for eons). I suppose you could say I have a phobia for dancing. I have no sense of rhythm and can't seem to relax physically enough to let go on a dance floor. I've always been this way-- never learned how to dance (Never did that sleepover activity of spinning a few 45s and trying out moves with teen girlfriends), have some really bad memories of dances from high school (fist fights, bullying, etc) and I am just very self conscious. Also, when I meet new people I want to talk with them, not engage in some kind of physical activity. Dances rarely have an environment conducive to conversation. The music is too loud and I find myself fumbling with a drink or pulling on the hem of my sweater, etc.
This is NOT to say I am shy or dull. At one time I thought I was, but when I learned I do make mistakes, I realized that I was wrong about that. I am actually very outgoing (ask anyone who knows, has met me, from the forums) and I have acquired some skills at being entertaining. (Evidently some people find me bubbly, funny, smart, and entertaining. I can even be a gracious hostess.)
So why do people think that single adults want to meet at a dance? Aren't their better social environments than reliving our teen years? YUCK!
(And if you are going to try to convince me that I should embrace dancing--- along the lines of "I Hope You Dance"--- then remember that this ballerina princess is a cracked dream; please be gentle.)
For now, we'll address the dancing situation.
First of all, Dawn, I know you are thankful you have 2 feet -- even though they both lefties.
Dancing? Not to worry. It isn't for everybody, but more people (especially women) enjoy it than not. There aren't many Fred Astaires or Ginger Rogers. As the saying goes, "Dance is if nobody is watching."
The biggest problem isn't lack of ability -- it's lack of knowledge and confidence. If you want to polish your act, there are many groups that offer dance lessons -- from basic to advanced. Some school recreation departments offer short-term dance lessons to adults. It's to learn the basics -- well enough to get out there. Learning the basics can give you the confidence you don't have at the present.
You have less of a problem because a male partner will be leading. You just have to follow. A good leader should recognize the skill level of his partner and dance accordingly. His job is to make a woman look good on the dance floor.
Years ago I felt like a total klutz on the dance floor, and basically just paddled around, using some basic steps. Obviously the confidence level in this area was below zero. After the loss of my wife, I signed up for lessons at a senior citizens' center. It was ongoing, and involved the basics, plus a few added steps for good measure. After having had the benefit of a professional instructor, dancing skills improved and the confidence level soared. In other words, I went from "YUCK" to -- "Hey, this is fun." Good exercise, too.
Mistakes? Well, laugh them off and keep going. Perfection is elusive, but skill levels increase with more dancing. Indeed, it is a source of enjoyment now and I'm looking back occasionally thinking about what I've missed all that time. Dancing lessons helped to look forward -- part of the re-inventing process of a widower.
You can look at the negative side -- the music which is nowadays louder than it should be, difficulty conversing while dancing, and so on. But the songs end, and there's time for chatting in between. You don't have to be out there for every song.
It's a rare individual who has no sense of the music's beat. Practicing usually takes care of that. Within our class there were people who never danced before (and it showed -- but the rest of us have all been there, too). It was amazing what they could learn in a short period of time, despite the fact the initial impression was that they are hopeless.
If you learn the basics, get out there for the purpose of having fun, your perspective might completely change. At least you'll have developed another social skill -- that can't hurt (unless you crunch your partner's foot). Yeah, that's always a posibility, but not one to lose sleep over.