Just today I happened upon an article on the late Blessed Pope John Paul II's book, Love and Responsibility. It really was amazing. I admit that I've not yet read the book, but I am looking forward to reading it now. I saw excerpts, and while it looks a bit wordy, I think it is worth picking up. This article is absolutely fabulous as to how it describes the popular heresy of Utilitarianism in relationships. Normally I only hear this word being used in philosophies that support Marxism and the like (i.e., Hegel, materialism, etc.) This, however, among other points, clearly explains how this error exists rampant in society and in the individuals that see people as objects.
Even if you take your spirituality seriously enough to not be sinning against the 6th and 9th Commandments whether mortally or fully deliberately, this issue of utilitarianism can apply even out of the realm of sexual relations. The philosophy is so rampant, that it shows itself in different levels, in different ways, and sometimes just at different situations.
Here is the article: www.catholic.org
And here is a Catholic definition of the word:
Ethical principle according to which an action is right if it tends to maximize happiness, not only that of the agent but also of everyone affected. Thus, utilitarians focus on the consequences of an act rather than on its intrinsic nature or the motives of the agent (see consequentialism). Classical utilitarianism is hedonist, but values other than, or in addition to, pleasure (ideal utilitarianism) can be employed, or—more neutrally, and in a version popular in economics—anything can be regarded as valuable that appears as an object of rational or informed desire (preference utilitarianism). The test of utility maximization can also be applied directly to single acts (act utilitarianism), or to acts only indirectly through some other suitable object of moral assessment, such as rules of conduct (rule utilitarianism). Jeremy Bentham'sIntroduction to the Principles of Morals and Legislation (1789) and John Stuart Mill's Utilitarianism (1863) are major statements of utilitarianism.
OK, so someone who is an Utilitarianist may not be breaking the 6th and 9th Commandments, but he uses women, one after the other usually, to feed his ego. He refuses to take any responsibility if his selfish, ego driven motives (often well concealed) are hurting the other person, because his motive is to derive pleasure, and not to have a true relationship, which precludes reciprocity, mutual respect, etc. Has anyone heard about this before or have read the book, Love and Responsibility?