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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Apr 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: I never knew I had the option. Just for the record,I'd like to say that these Diocesan...
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

I never knew I had the option.

Just for the record,I'd like to say that these Diocesan Tribunals are anullment Mills.Yep,that's right.I knew a Judge on a tribunal here in So. California,who left the Diocese,because(after 14 years as a Judge)he was pressured by the Bishop to sign off on Declarations of Nullity that were in fact Valid Marriages.He refused,and told the Bishop to take a hike.The Bishop was worried that the people may leave the Church and go elsewhere.Isn't it nice to know that these Liberals are looking out for your souls.Oh,don't worry.If you did everthing in good Faith,it's not on your conscience,but on the members of the Tribunal.The only reason I accepted mine as being valid is that the said Judge was a witness in my case,and told me that he was certain my Marriage was invalid.Otherwise,I would not have ever trusted these American Tribunals.If you think I am harsh,remember that both Popes JPll and Benedict XVl both said there are too many declarations of nullity in the USA.

--hide--

I would agree with you, Bernard. My former priest told a friend "just fill out the paperwork and send in the money and it will go through." Wow! Along the same topic, I'm very frustrated that the tribunal seems to disregard marriage and seemingly makes it seem ok to date or even be engaged. The first sentence of the 4th paragraph in my notification letter reads "Do not set a date for another wedding until we inform you of a final and affirmative decision." Seriously?! How about a sentence that says something like "you are still married in the eyes of the Church and dating, not to mention an engagement, is adultery." We wouldn't want to educate or teach anyone this now would we rolling eyes because it may offend them and they may leave the Church. scratchchin I am frustrated with a lack of leadership and education that is so desperately needed. I will continue to pray about this. Praying Praying Praying

Apr 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Dana-782979 said: (Quote) Bernard-2709 said: I never knew I had the option. Just for t...
(Quote) Dana-782979 said:

Quote:
Bernard-2709 said:

I never knew I had the option.

Just for the record,I'd like to say that these Diocesan Tribunals are anullment Mills.Yep,that's right.I knew a Judge on a tribunal here in So. California,who left the Diocese,because(after 14 years as a Judge)he was pressured by the Bishop to sign off on Declarations of Nullity that were in fact Valid Marriages.He refused,and told the Bishop to take a hike.The Bishop was worried that the people may leave the Church and go elsewhere.Isn't it nice to know that these Liberals are looking out for your souls.Oh,don't worry.If you did everthing in good Faith,it's not on your conscience,but on the members of the Tribunal.The only reason I accepted mine as being valid is that the said Judge was a witness in my case,and told me that he was certain my Marriage was invalid.Otherwise,I would not have ever trusted these American Tribunals.If you think I am harsh,remember that both Popes JPll and Benedict XVl both said there are too many declarations of nullity in the USA.



I would agree with you, Bernard. My former priest told a friend "just fill out the paperwork and send in the money and it will go through." Wow! Along the same topic, I'm very frustrated that the tribunal seems to disregard marriage and seemingly makes it seem ok to date or even be engaged. The first sentence of the 4th paragraph in my notification letter reads "Do not set a date for another wedding until we inform you of a final and affirmative decision." Seriously?! How about a sentence that says something like "you are still married in the eyes of the Church and dating, not to mention an engagement, is adultery." We wouldn't want to educate or teach anyone this now would we because it may offend them and they may leave the Church. I am frustrated with a lack of leadership and education that is so desperately needed. I will continue to pray about this.

--hide--
You understand well Dana.It's sad how many so called conservative Catholics don't understand at all.This "New American Catholic Church" has been emerging for half a Century.Actually since the times of Pope St. Pius X,they (Modernists)went underground, and have re-emerged mightier than ever.Yes many of these clergy are still in good standing,as well as their Bishops.There will be an official break from the True Church soon IMO.Many here on CM have used the quote that "the Gates of Hell shall not prevail against the Church".Of course I agree,however,not the way they understand it.There have been major breaks in the Past.The Great Schism of 1054 AD, the Protestant Revolt in the 16th Century,etc.Did the Gates of Hell prevail? No,it just means that the Remnant of the True Church remained.As scripture said "many are called few are chosen" Matt 22:14.They have "itching ears" as St.Paul says-2 Timothy 4:3 Douay-Rheims Bible "For there shall be a time, when they will not endure sound doctrine;but, according to their own desires, they will heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears."

Apr 5th 2013 new

I did read the testimony. My witnesses had already inmdicated to me what they thought they could provide in the way of information but the testimony of my ex-husband was a real eye opener for me. It had become apparent before he abandoned the family that he had emerging mental health problems but his testimony really brought into perspective how different our experiences within the marriage had been. Reading his testimony made it seem as though we had been living in parallel worlds. There were aspects which were painful, becuase he ascribed motives to me which simply didn't exist, however it also made clear that requesting a decision from the Tribunal regarding the validity of the marriage was a sound decision. Fortunately, the annullment was granted.

Apr 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Dana-782979 said: For any of you out there that have received your Decree of Nulity, did you read the testimony that...
(Quote) Dana-782979 said:

For any of you out there that have received your Decree of Nulity, did you read the testimony that was submitted? I would love to hear from you if you did or did not and why. Blessings to all.

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Hey, All,

Let's remember that not all priests are pedophiles, and not all tribunals are cheating. There are many, many good priests in the US who work for truth and authenticity in the annulment process. Not everyone who applies for an annulment gets one. The abuses are there, but abuse does not negate the process.

Dana, for me going through the annulment process back in 1995, reading the testimonies of my ex-spouse and witnesses was not an option and I'm frustrated by the fact that other tribunals offer this option. I was told by one priest that it's done out of an effort to be transparent, yet most of the people I've known feel it intrudes on their privacy. I'm glad for those who've had a positive experience with that.

Sincerely,

Lisa Duffy

Apr 5th 2013 new

I did read the testimony of my witnesses, though my ex didn't respond. Our marriage had been blessed by the church just a few years before the ex left and it was good to read the thoughts of the priest that did the blessing. I had come into the church the year before and no one asked the question about our 20+ year marriage being recognized by the church (my ex was non-practicing Catholic). When it was discovered almost a year after my Easter Vigil, we then met with Fr a few times and had the blessing at a daily mass.

I had wondered why the priest had agreed to bless us, knowing the marriage was already on the rocks. He explained that had it not been for the mix up he would have recommended at least counselling first. He also hoped the grace of the sacrament would help us.

Reading what my father wrote was more difficult. I learned things about his thoughts over the years that disappointed me. I have had a hard time shaking that off. My advice, examine yourself first. If you are vulnerable, proceed with caution. If you are strong enough to live with the impact of their words, go ahead.

Beth

Apr 5th 2013 new

Thank you for the words of caution, Beth. I'm ready for this and do want to see what people outside the marriage thought/saw about our marriage. I don't think it will be an easy day but a day to reflect and start to grow and continue to heal.

Apr 5th 2013 new

I did not. Nor did I want to. I assured everyone who knew me that I would not read anything that anyone submitted on my behalf. That was the truth. I felt also that sharing these feelings would facilitate everyone I knew being as frank as frank could be.

Apr 5th 2013 new
Mine is not decided yet but I wanted to mention that confidentiality is an option; I guess maybe this only pertains to the spouses reading each other's? I was asked whether I want my writing to be confidential from him and vice versa. If I can read the witnesses statements, I want to. I have an inquiring sort of mind and that is my reason I think. Thank you for this post. I am going to call Monday to see if I can read them.
Apr 6th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: I never knew I had the option. Just for the record,I'd like to say that these Diocesan...
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

I never knew I had the option.

Just for the record,I'd like to say that these Diocesan Tribunals are anullment Mills.Yep,that's right.I knew a Judge on a tribunal here in So. California,who left the Diocese,because(after 14 years as a Judge)he was pressured by the Bishop to sign off on Declarations of Nullity that were in fact Valid Marriages.He refused,and told the Bishop to take a hike.The Bishop was worried that the people may leave the Church and go elsewhere.Isn't it nice to know that these Liberals are looking out for your souls.Oh,don't worry.If you did everthing in good Faith,it's not on your conscience,but on the members of the Tribunal.The only reason I accepted mine as being valid is that the said Judge was a witness in my case,and told me that he was certain my Marriage was invalid.Otherwise,I would not have ever trusted these American Tribunals.If you think I am harsh,remember that both Popes JPll and Benedict XVl both said there are too many declarations of nullity in the USA.

--hide--


No disrespect intended for the clergy, BUT I have to agree with you wholeheartedly Bernard. I attended an annulment information session offered by my diocese and was appalled at the "information" that was being distributed by the diocesan annulment advocates. One of the first statements was, "do not set your wedding date until after you have received at least an initial response from the tribunal" eyepopping. I was absolutely shocked. They were assuming that everyone was there to get an annulment because they were already engaged and wanted to be married in the catholic church. THere was only one other gentleman and myself out of over 20 people in attendance that were NOT there for that reason! The tribunal lawyer in attendance was NOT shocked by this and responded very matter of factly.


My former parish priest used to sit on the Diocesan board that read all of the annulment requests and he told me that the diocese grants the annulments so that they won't lose tithing parishioners....ugh...once again it comes down to $$$$. Why am I not surprised sorry .


ANnulments in the Catholic Church are a joke, just as they were a joke when King Henry the VIII "invented" them to marry his third (or was it his second) wife.

Apr 6th 2013 new

Onward back to Vatican Two The changes are starting " Pope Francis "

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