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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

04/06/2013 new

(Quote) Dana-782979 said: For any of you out there that have received your Decree of Nullity, did you read the testimony tha...
(Quote) Dana-782979 said:

For any of you out there that have received your Decree of Nullity, did you read the testimony that was submitted? I would love to hear from you if you did or did not and why. Blessings to all.

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In my diocese, at least at the time of my declaration of nullity, reading the testimony of my witnesses wasn't even an option. (BTW: The Lincoln diocese of Nebraska is one of the most difficult ones to get a declaration of nullity in.) As a matter of fact, I really wasn't expecting that my ex would even bother to respond - much less that the tribunal (which I and one of my witnesses had to come before in person) would ask me if I'd like to read what my ex had written in his response? As I stood before the tribunal, they asked me how much creedence I thought should be given to what he had written in his response? As my ex had literally been a pathological liar and a frequent adulterer; I told them that frankly, I wouldn't put much faith in what he had written. (And I was trying to be kind in my response.) Imagine how far my jaw dropped when I read a letter in which he took complete responsibility for the failure of my marriage, discussed his lack of maturity during our marriage and how I had done everything humanly possible to make our marriage work. I almost dropped over in a dead faint! faint

I have to tell you though, it was very liberating. For years I had tried everything to be the perfect wife/woman - thinking that if only I was 'better', he would quit running around, lying etc. Although I still realize that it 'takes two', it still lifted a great weight from my shoulders to know that even he felt that I had worked incredibly hard to make our marriage a success. That being said, weather the tribunal or I believed it or not - my ex's statement could have been incredibly negative and left me in even more distress than the whole annulment proceedings already have. Just be ready for whatever might come your way. It might not be an easy pill to swallow.

04/08/2013 new

(Quote) Dana-782979 said: For any of you out there that have received your Decree of Nulity, did you read the testimony that...
(Quote) Dana-782979 said:

For any of you out there that have received your Decree of Nulity, did you read the testimony that was submitted? I would love to hear from you if you did or did not and why. Blessings to all.

--hide--

Nope. I wasn't interested in hearing other people's take on what's what. I told the truth, I hoped that everybody else would do the same, and I left the rest in God's hands.

04/08/2013 new

I never read mine - I felt it was the last step of really letting everything go and to read anything from my ex would certainly make that more difficult. I just let it go. I waited for about a year to file it and then another 9-mo to receive my decree and I can honestly say I think it was perfect timing from a healing perspective. I received mine in the Houston Diocese and was VERY impressed with the process.

04/09/2013 new

My former husband did not participate in the process, so I doubt there would be nothing to read that would interest me. However, it was never offered to me and I didn't ask - so the answer is no, I did not read any of the testimony.

04/09/2013 new

Well I went and read the testimony this morning and there wasn't anything I wasn't expecting. My ex-spouse was very honest and, still, respectful and loving in his answers. It was a good thing for me to do and another step I needed to take in closure. Thank you for all for sharing your thoughts with me.

Apr 16 new

I'm glad to hear it brought you closure Dana! I haven't gone & read any of mine...as far as I know my ex did not participate. I'd be curious to know what the in-laws stated though (but are we allowed to read witnesses?)...but on the other hand, I just want to close the book. Whatever they said doesn't really matter...I'm at peace with God with it all & that's all I need. I'm afraid reading their statements might make me harbor a grudge. boggled

Apr 16 new

(Quote) Laura-824866 said: I'm glad to hear it brought you closure Dana! I haven't gone & read any of mine...as ...
(Quote) Laura-824866 said:

I'm glad to hear it brought you closure Dana! I haven't gone & read any of mine...as far as I know my ex did not participate. I'd be curious to know what the in-laws stated though (but are we allowed to read witnesses?)...but on the other hand, I just want to close the book. Whatever they said doesn't really matter...I'm at peace with God with it all & that's all I need. I'm afraid reading their statements might make me harbor a grudge.

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I went in pretty sure I wouldn't read anything surprising or harsh and thankfully that was the case. If I had any thoughts that the testimony would have been mean or hurtful, I don't think I would have read anything. I think that would have been a set-back for me rather than a step forward. I think you are in a good place being at peace and should leave it at that. God is watching over us and guiding us and that's a great thing.

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