Are you sure? Because you still have he gift of life, the Lord has important work for you to do. There are people on earth that only you can serve. Remember you do have the Lord's gifts. With all the hard times you have suffered, you understand others who suffer the same way, with the same struggle. Go service others that suffer like you. This is your gift to the Lord. Keep the faith.Know the Lord's peace. As far as heaven, you will get there is due time, but you still important work to do.
Although I agree with John, God is giving you a choice. And being that your soul is your most prized possession, who would want to risk the possibility of losing it later.