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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Bryan-324283 said: Guys will pursue, but many need an "incentive" to keep going. That incentive is simply ...
(Quote) Bryan-324283 said:

Guys will pursue, but many need an "incentive" to keep going. That incentive is simply that the women respond to the pursuit rather than hide or run. I've sent out messages to women I've been interested in. Some have returned them, so I try to continue the conversation. Then it hits a point where they stop responding without saying anything.

At that point, the guy is going to give up and move on. A woman who is non-responsive is not worth the effort unless you know she's the one God has for you.

--hide--


right on clap

Apr 7th 2013 new

Nice to see the reponses!

I know this has probably been asked before in the forums, but does it cause a man's interest to shrivel up and die if a woman initiates messages? I've noticed that if I send a emote or message to start, I may get a response, but it is terse...breif...uninterested.

Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Con-888377 said: The Pursuit game rules have changed, by hard nosed ultra feminist groups pounding the drum...
(Quote) Con-888377 said:

The Pursuit game rules have changed, by hard nosed ultra feminist groups pounding the drum in advertising displaying men as incompetent fools and being portrayed in non flattering ways. A lot of men have been wounded by this brigade and you may have to revise tactics. It is probably why dating via the Internet has caught on. The degree of embarassment is reduced by not being face to face. Men are reluctant to pursue too hard afraid of being labeled as a sleaze or predator. Men have been given many mixed messages via media across the board. Damage has been done and needs to be factored in to the equation. The nicer the guy, the greater reluctance, because of the secular stereo types that have been associated with men being portrayed in media generally as disposable weaklings.

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I agree with this. I want to make sure I am striking the balance between showing interest and "creeping". I'm learning how to operate in this type of environment, since most of what I know in terms of relationships/dating does not really apply here. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy this and am looking forward to getting more comfortable in this environment.

Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Gary-936836 said: I actually got a friend to do a photo shoot for me
(Quote) Gary-936836 said:

I actually got a friend to do a photo shoot for me

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Great advice about a photo shoot. I would try to include other day-to-day photos (or maybe special-ocassion is a better term.) Gary, I'm talking about your color run, fishing, and even the spoon photos. I feel that people can learn quite a bit from these photos, so they see your interests and your personality. And nice choice of St. Ignatius - what an amazing man of God!

Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: does it cause a man's interest to shrivel up and die if a woman initiates messages? I've ...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

does it cause a man's interest to shrivel up and die if a woman initiates messages? I've noticed that if I send a emote or message to start, I may get a response, but it is terse...breif...uninterested

--hide--


Personally, the answer is no. It makes our job that much easier! But I do believe a terse response DOES signal he is uninterested. And if he is interested, he certainly should have put forth more effort. (But take this all with a grain of salt; perhaps he's shy?!?!)

Apr 7th 2013 new
I think that a man should pursue a woman, but there has to be a little give and take. I've found nothing wrong with a woman pursuing a man. There are some things to keep in mind, like different cultures and different mindsets. I know people can be considered "stalkers" if they try to pursue too hard without some sort of feedback.
Apr 7th 2013 new
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: Nice to see the reponses! I know this has probably been asked before in the forums, but does it ...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

Nice to see the reponses!



I know this has probably been asked before in the forums, but does it cause a man's interest to shrivel up and die if a woman initiates messages? I've noticed that if I send a emote or message to start, I may get a response, but it is terse...breif...uninterested.

--hide--


I see no problem with a lady sending a message first. keep in mind, we face the same problems at times (terse or no response). The bottom line is no one (the gender neutral no one) likes rejection, and may not continue the pursuit, if they don't see a real gain from it.
Apr 7th 2013 new
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: Nice to see the reponses! I know this has probably been asked before in the forums, but does it ...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

Nice to see the reponses!



I know this has probably been asked before in the forums, but does it cause a man's interest to shrivel up and die if a woman initiates messages? I've noticed that if I send a emote or message to start, I may get a response, but it is terse...breif...uninterested.

--hide--


I agree in regards to the responses, how do you know me and sometimes the responses are short or we don't get one. I created a questionnaire to get responses and to start a dialogue.

What I find interesting is the matches that I get every so often from CM? Some I have no interest in and others their may be some interest. Lately, I go back and clean out the unsures and yeses on my end about once a month, immediately after I'm not interested, I get looked at, funny. laughing I so enjoy the banter in these forums and have learned alot.
Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Mike-905381 said: Great advice about a photo shoot. I would try to include other day-to-day photos (or mayb...
(Quote) Mike-905381 said:

Great advice about a photo shoot. I would try to include other day-to-day photos (or maybe special-ocassion is a better term.) Gary, I'm talking about your color run, fishing, and even the spoon photos. I feel that people can learn quite a bit from these photos, so they see your interests and your personality. And nice choice of St. Ignatius - what an amazing man of God!

--hide--

Thank you, Mike! I agree that photos can be used creatively not just to show what you look like, but how you live life. It gives you character depth.

Apr 7th 2013 new

Stacey: I am not sure if someone on this thread has already said this, but keep in mind the way things work in a room of people.

If a guy is looking at you, yes. It's on him to come over to talk to you. But you have the chance to flash him a smile to *invite* him to come talk to you. Women always have ways of telling a man whether or not the pursuit would be welcome before he starts pursuing.

So, in short, you can view sending emotigrams as the equivalent of the smile, and he should respond hopefully with a fuller message. Personally, I dislike receiving a blank emotigram, so it wouldn't hurt to type a sentence or two with the emotigram. Blank emotigrams either say "I have no confidence!" or "I am not subscribed!" and neither are good signals to send. I can't say all guys would think that, though.

So, I would encourage you to do this and not consider it a role reversal or off-putting. It *is* slightly more active than flashing a smile, but that is because online we have to type more to compensate for not having online body language.

Peace and grace!

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