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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

04/08/2013 new

(Quote) Tom-432657 said: Depends on the guy but if you're interested in someone, why not approach. Don't be shy or that per...
(Quote) Tom-432657 said: Depends on the guy but if you're interested in someone, why not approach. Don't be shy or that person will assume you're not interested.
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That's true.. I sometimes brave myself to sit next to the guy that I'm interested in.. lol

04/08/2013 new

I think most men will pursue a woman he is interested on this site, but he can maybe back off if the message comes back a little vague. I myself have not sent back a second message if there is no substance in it. I know myself that I value the response I get from the women on Catholic Match because even if it does not go any further than chatting I am still coming in contact with some nice people. Great topic.

04/08/2013 new
(Quote) Chris-280015 said: Us shy guts might have a hard time with trying to chase/ Sometimes we misread the ladies who play "h...
(Quote) Chris-280015 said:

Us shy guts might have a hard time with trying to chase/ Sometimes we misread the ladies who play "hard to get", and mistake it for "I'm not interested", "you're not my type", or "go away".
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Yes. I agree trying to figure people out is difficult for both sides, and for a shy person, I think it's even harder to stay engaged if you're not sure.
04/08/2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: I don't think it's a matter of becoming pickier -- in many cases an older person...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:



I don't think it's a matter of becoming pickier -- in many cases an older person has learned from experience what works and what doesn't.

OTOH, older folks have also learned what matters (sobriety and a generous nature, for exampl) and what does not (height and eye color).

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...Eye color isn't everything? Why am I just now finding this out? laughing

04/09/2013 new

I know this might get me in trouble, but things would be so much easier if we had just kept the wisdom of our ancestors and had a matchmaker. scratchchin You get hitched before you know too much about each other and then you get to know each other while making it work. their marriages last for one thing.

04/09/2013 new

(Quote) Joyce-844872 said: (Quote) Clair-6292 said: Rob a bank, you'll get chaste! ...
(Quote) Joyce-844872 said:

Quote:
Clair-6292 said:

Rob a bank, you'll get chaste!


and locked into a long term commitment,



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laughing laughing laughing

04/09/2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: I know this might get me in trouble, but things would be so much easier if we had just kept the w...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

I know this might get me in trouble, but things would be so much easier if we had just kept the wisdom of our ancestors and had a matchmaker. You get hitched before you know too much about each other and then you get to know each other while making it work. their marriages last for one thing.

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In teresting thought. But it also depends on who the matchmaker is. I would not want it to be my dad, or my sibs. rolling eyes

04/09/2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: I know this might get me in trouble, but things would be so much easier if we had just kept the w...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

I know this might get me in trouble, but things would be so much easier if we had just kept the wisdom of our ancestors and had a matchmaker. You get hitched before you know too much about each other and then you get to know each other while making it work. their marriages last for one thing.

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No, you're absolutely dead on. People are like saplings that if planted together, will grow into intertwining trees. If you grow separately, though, it can be hard to find someone that just so happens to fit you since you didn't grow to fit together. (Exceptions definitely exist! Not everyone does this with age, but some people begin to put their independence first.) If you grow WITH someone then s/he is an inseperable part of your identity as an adult. How could you ever think of leaving? It's unthinkable.

Like it or not, God made our biology and psychology. We are made to leave our parents during the so-called teenage years and eke a living on our own. Unfortunately, it's not as simple as building a hut and then farming/hunting. There's really no unclaimed land left to simply claim. So what do we do? We undergo an extended childhood with schooling up through the twenties. Absolutely not natural. Education is wonderful, but this whole setup has its drawbacks.

Much like how the light bulb is a great thing, but if you didn't have one of those, you'd never have insomnia. All our "advances" and "progress" are really give and take rather than a universal step "up". I'm glad you're the one who said it first, though. It always feels like a taboo thing to say.

Most of the dysfunction in teens can be explained as the natural instincts of adults being repressed, in my amateur opinion. Why would God make us inherently dysfunctional? He didn't. Our society has just gotten confused. How do we reconcile modern advances to ancient sensibilities? I have no idea. Lord, grant us wisdom.

04/09/2013 new

(Quote) Gary-936836 said: No, you're absolutely dead on. People are like saplings that if planted together, wil...
(Quote) Gary-936836 said:

No, you're absolutely dead on. People are like saplings that if planted together, will grow into intertwining trees. If you grow separately, though, it can be hard to find someone that just so happens to fit you since you didn't grow to fit together. (Exceptions definitely exist! Not everyone does this with age, but some people begin to put their independence first.) If you grow WITH someone then s/he is an inseperable part of your identity as an adult. How could you ever think of leaving? It's unthinkable.

Like it or not, God made our biology and psychology. We are made to leave our parents during the so-called teenage years and eke a living on our own. Unfortunately, it's not as simple as building a hut and then farming/hunting. There's really no unclaimed land left to simply claim. So what do we do? We undergo an extended childhood with schooling up through the twenties. Absolutely not natural. Education is wonderful, but this whole setup has its drawbacks.

Much like how the light bulb is a great thing, but if you didn't have one of those, you'd never have insomnia. All our "advances" and "progress" are really give and take rather than a universal step "up". I'm glad you're the one who said it first, though. It always feels like a taboo thing to say.

Most of the dysfunction in teens can be explained as the natural instincts of adults being repressed, in my amateur opinion. Why would God make us inherently dysfunctional? He didn't. Our society has just gotten confused. How do we reconcile modern advances to ancient sensibilities? I have no idea. Lord, grant us wisdom.

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Like your example of the saplings and intertwining trees, Gary and I agree with what both Naomi and yourself had to say. However, having grown up with 6' tall men in my family, I got the shivers when I thought that I could have been matched at birth with a 4' 10" Chinese man like my maternal Grandmother was. rolling eyes

04/09/2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: Nice to see the reponses! I know this has probably been asked before in the forums, but do...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

Nice to see the reponses!

I know this has probably been asked before in the forums, but does it cause a man's interest to shrivel up and die if a woman initiates messages? I've noticed that if I send a emote or message to start, I may get a response, but it is terse...breif...uninterested.

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For starters, at least in my case I love the rare cases, where a woman contacts me first. I'm not against adhering to tradition when it comes to being confident enough to message a woman first, but when a woman messages me first, I get the impression that she knows what she's interested in, and she's willing to make the effort to try and get it. One of the most fascinating contacts I have right now did just this, and while they're extremely far away I consider them a realistic possibility, because they make a consistent effort to message back. I think people some times get too caught up in tradition, when the reality of it is, by definition online dating isn't traditional. When you give the hints that people have suggested emotes, taking someone's interview, looking at their profile all these things help, and while you may get people who aren't interested, you also may get the total opposite like in my case.

As some of the other guys have said on here, if someone doesn't message back as a means of playing a game or whatever other reason, you're likely just going to lose that guy as a contact, because as a whole we're not stalkers, nor do we want to be perceived that way, so as soon as I don't get a response for like a week or so, I assume the person has given up on things.

To answer the actual question for the forum topic, yes we will generally pursue if we're interested, though some times may take a bit, as I may look at some profiles and decide to message them a couple days later. It certainly helps motivate me if I see the person at least takes the effort to look at my profile as well.

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