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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

This thread is prompted by a comment about a second husband feeling comfortable with a few photos of the deceased first husband being displayed in the new, joint home.


- Would you/do you have pictures of your deceased loved one in your home?

- Would you expect to have them after you remarried?

- How would you feel about your new spouse displaying pictures of his/her spouse?




My husband's been dead 14 years. I have no photos of him on display anywhere. eyebrow

Apr 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: This thread is prompted by a comment about a second husband feeling comfortable with a few ph...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

This thread is prompted by a comment about a second husband feeling comfortable with a few photos of the deceased first husband being displayed in the new, joint home.


- Would you/do you have pictures of your deceased loved one in your home?

- Would you expect to have them after you remarried?

- How would you feel about your new spouse displaying pictures of his/her spouse?




My husband's been dead 14 years. I have no photos of him on display anywhere.

--hide--

Hi Marge, I have thought about this a lot actually. I do have pictures of Pete around and will probably continue to have them up as he is and was a vital part of our family. And, I don't think my children would like it if I relegated him to a dusty drawer somewhere. That being said I don't have one on my bedside table and wouldn't if I remarry, but I also don't have a picture of him hanging over the mantle or anything like that they are mostly snapshots photos in with other family photos. I don't think I would be upset to have my new spouse display photos of their deceased spouse either as long as it isn't over the mantle or on the bedside table :-).

Apr 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: My husband's been dead 14 years. I have no photos of him on display anywhere.
(Quote) Marge-938695 said: My husband's been dead 14 years. I have no photos of him on display anywhere.
--hide--



I've given my first husbands pictures to his and my children. I have put the second husbands pics away. Pics in my head are better than the ones in the frames. After a miserable Christmas day surrounded by too many reminders, I decided to scour the house. It has been better.

Apr 12th 2013 new

I have pictures around, but I can't say for how long. My kids would miss seeing their dad's picture around. If I began a relationship with someone and that could change. If the other person wanted to have pictures of their former spouse I would be okay with it as long as it didn't take center stage.

Apr 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: This thread is prompted by a comment about a second husband feeling comfortable with a few ph...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

This thread is prompted by a comment about a second husband feeling comfortable with a few photos of the deceased first husband being displayed in the new, joint home.


- Would you/do you have pictures of your deceased loved one in your home?

- Would you expect to have them after you remarried?

- How would you feel about your new spouse displaying pictures of his/her spouse?




My husband's been dead 14 years. I have no photos of him on display anywhere.

--hide--

My late wife was a very important person in my life for 51 years. I am not about to hide her picture just because I might have a new woman in my life. If the new one can't handle that; bye bye.

Apr 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: This thread is prompted by a comment about a second husband feeling comfortable with a few ph...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

This thread is prompted by a comment about a second husband feeling comfortable with a few photos of the deceased first husband being displayed in the new, joint home.


- Would you/do you have pictures of your deceased loved one in your home?

- Would you expect to have them after you remarried?

- How would you feel about your new spouse displaying pictures of his/her spouse?




My husband's been dead 14 years. I have no photos of him on display anywhere.

--hide--
It is important when there are children involved to have pictures of the deceased parent around the home.

Apr 13th 2013 new

When Frank died, we had a pictures of him and of the whole family around. When I married Jack, he brought pictures of his first wife and many of his whole (also large) family. We found places for all of them. His hobby was photography and he had an especially beautiful photo of his wife and his two oldest children when babies. He also had a lovely, poster size picture of the whole family at his granddaughers wedding on the wall, and one which was the cover of a magazine that his son was on. We were happy to have both our families prominently displayed together. Within minutes of his death one of his daughters proceeded to collect all of the pictures of his family and put them in her car, including pictures of him as a young man. He had given her a hard drive with all of the family pictures on them, but she apparently did not want his family left in my house. It was painful. To answer the question, we both enjoyed the mixture, but apparently his children did not.

Apr 13th 2013 new
I'm sorry, Joan. That must have been painful. Sometimes people react quickly without considering everyone's feelings. Hopefully you still have photos of the time the two of you spent together. God bless you.
Apr 14th 2013 new
My son is 9, he was 6 when his dad died. I've thought about this a great deal. When I remarry I plan to have a few pictures of my husband around, but primarily in my son's room. I wouldn't have wedding pictures out though - to me that's the domain of the new marriage. Maybe our family portrait when my son was 5. It's adorable! For now though there's plenty of pictures out of my late husband. And any man I date has to be ok with that.
Apr 14th 2013 new

We are a family who love photographs. My entire home is full of photgraphs -of different extended family members, of us as a family, our kids and my husband.

My husband died a little over 2 years. For the first year, our home was like a memorial to him, with pictures of him all over the house. He was on our dining table and so we felt he was with us when we sat for our meals. We even had small pendants with his picture on them.

Gradually, we did not feel the need to have our home like a memorial. In fact I changed the flooring, the furniture to reflect a new begining and my individuality. Most of the photographs have gone, but we still have a few around, a couple of him on his own, but most of them are with all of us. To my children who still live with me, he is still part of their lives. To me, even though I am now comfortable with accepting that my marriage was over when he died; "till death do us apart", he will always be a part of me, for who I am today is due to his influence in my life.

I do not think our home will be completely free of his photographs; I still have my deceased in-laws, my deceased mother and other members of the family on our walls.

If I move houses when I marry, I am not certain if I will have all these pictures on our walls. I am not attached to them.

Regarding pictures of my future husband's deceased spouse, I am OK with that too. I think what is important is open dialogue about this when we date. Both need to be comfortable and not threatened by the dead spouse.



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