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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Apr 14th 2013 new

We are a family who love photographs. My entire home is full of photgraphs -of different extended family members, of us as a family, our kids and my husband.

My husband died a little over 2 years. For the first year, our home was like a memorial to him, with pictures of him all over the house. He was on our dining table and so we felt he was with us when we sat for our meals. We even had small pendants with his picture on them.

Gradually, we did not feel the need to have our home like a memorial. In fact I changed the flooring, the furniture to reflect a new begining and my individuality. Most of the photographs have gone, but we still have a few around, a couple of him on his own, but most of them are with all of us. To my children who still live with me, he is still part of their lives. To me, even though I am now comfortable with accepting that my marriage was over when he died; "till death do us apart", he will always be a part of me, for who I am today is due to his influence in my life.

I do not think our home will be completely free of his photographs; I still have my deceased in-laws, my deceased mother and other members of the family on our walls.

If I move houses when I marry, I am not certain if I will have all these pictures on our walls. I am not attached to them.

Regarding pictures of my future husband's deceased spouse, I am OK with that too. I think what is important is open dialogue about this when we date. Both need to be comfortable and not threatened by the dead spouse.



Apr 14th 2013 new

We are a family who love photographs. My entire home is full of photgraphs -of different extended family members, of us as a family, our kids and my husband.

My husband died a little over 2 years. For the first year, our home was like a memorial to him, with pictures of him all over the house. He was on our dining table and so we felt he was with us when we sat for our meals. We even had small pendants with his picture on them.

Gradually, we did not feel the need to have our home like a memorial. In fact I changed the flooring, the furniture to reflect a new begining and my individuality. Most of the photographs have gone, but we still have a few around, a couple of him on his own, but most of them are with all of us. To my children who still live with me, he is still part of their lives. To me, even though I am now comfortable with accepting that my marriage was over when he died; "till death do us apart", he will always be a part of me, for who I am today is due to his influence in my life.

I do not think our home will be completely free of his photographs; I still have my deceased in-laws, my deceased mother and other members of the family on our walls.

If I move houses when I marry, I am not certain if I will have all these pictures on our walls. I am not attached to them.

Regarding pictures of my future husband's deceased spouse, I am OK with that too. I think what is important is open dialogue about this when we date. Both need to be comfortable and not threatened by the dead spouse.



Apr 14th 2013 new

We are a family who love photographs. My entire home is full of photgraphs -of different extended family members, of us as a family, our kids and my husband.

My husband died a little over 2 years. For the first year, our home was like a memorial to him, with pictures of him all over the house. He was on our dining table and so we felt he was with us when we sat for our meals. We even had small pendants with his picture on them.

Gradually, we did not feel the need to have our home like a memorial. In fact I changed the flooring, the furniture to reflect a new begining and my individuality. Most of the photographs have gone, but we still have a few around, a couple of him on his own, but most of them are with all of us. To my children who still live with me, he is still part of their lives. To me, even though I am now comfortable with accepting that my marriage was over when he died; "till death do us apart", he will always be a part of me, for who I am today is due to his influence in my life.

I do not think our home will be completely free of his photographs; I still have my deceased in-laws, my deceased mother and other members of the family on our walls.

If I move houses when I marry, I am not certain if I will have all these pictures on our walls. I am not attached to them.

Regarding pictures of my future husband's deceased spouse, I am OK with that too. I think what is important is open dialogue about this when we date. Both need to be comfortable and not threatened by the dead spouse.



Apr 16th 2013 new

My husband died in 1993, and I have a baby pictures of him, one of myself, and each of the boys in a small grouping on one of the walls in my bedroom. I still have some of the gifts he gave me on display they are among my favorite things, and will always be on display in my home.

Apr 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: This thread is prompted by a comment about a second husband feeling comfortable with a few ph...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

This thread is prompted by a comment about a second husband feeling comfortable with a few photos of the deceased first husband being displayed in the new, joint home.

--hide--


Marge, I can't talk from experience on this one as I have not seriously dated anyone since my wife's passing. That said, I do know one lady who lost her spouse, and later remaried and she has some pictures of her late husband in the house with her new husband. In her case most of the pictures are of her husband and children, but she openly says that one of her favorite pics is a pic of her late husband.

I would want to be able to keep some pictures of Steph should I ever remarry; afterall, she's a huge part of my life I don't think that having a picture on the wall in anyway diminishes how I feel about a future partner. I will always have a special place in my heart for Steph!

Apr 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Peter-793888 said: Marge, I can't talk from experience on this one as I have not seriously dated an...
(Quote) Peter-793888 said:


Marge, I can't talk from experience on this one as I have not seriously dated anyone since my wife's passing. That said, I do know one lady who lost her spouse, and later remaried and she has some pictures of her late husband in the house with her new husband. In her case most of the pictures are of her husband and children, but she openly says that one of her favorite pics is a pic of her late husband.

I would want to be able to keep some pictures of Steph should I ever remarry; afterall, she's a huge part of my life I don't think that having a picture on the wall in anyway diminishes how I feel about a future partner. I will always have a special place in my heart for Steph!

--hide--
Praying Bow clap highfive hug

Apr 21st 2013 new

This is interesting because my baby boy--ha ha, he just turned 21 last week--told me that I needed to take down the family photos and put away the falg box/photos so I wouldn't chase a man away--his words. I seriously considered it for some time, but then I asked some guy friends. I am not over the top and I would probably put away more if I had someone in my life. If the other person was a widower, I would hope that he would have some pictures of his late wife especially if they had children together.

Apr 21st 2013 new

Hi Marge:

I would have a couple of family pictures (ones with other members of my family or of his family), not wedding or individual pictures.

I am a better person because of my years with Ernie and would be a better wife to a new husband because of our life experiences together and the lost of him that I experienced as well, becoming who I am today.

I have no problem sharing the same with a new husband...he is who he is today because of his life with his past wife.

Both of our deceased spouses would be helping us in our relationship/marriage because they are both becoming another Christ, who is love, so they can remain visible as part of our new life and family.

Apr 22nd 2013 new

What if you married a bachelor?

Apr 25th 2013 new

This topic is a really good question, one I never thought of. I suppose if the picture of the dead husband was kept in a back room I wouldnt mind. I am very easy going, but in all honesty, I think having to see a picture of old Chester in my living room might annoy me after a while. If Chester took good care of his wife and she wasnt left destitute, than I might be more accomodating and leave him up. But having waited all my life to get married, I dont know if I feel like playing fiddle with a ghost. Spitballs could be in order.

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