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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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I see a lot of profiles where I read 1-2 under "Ideal # of kids" My question is, is the romance over after the 2nd kid? Because contraception for those who answered 7/7 is out of the question.
Apr 12th 2013 new
Great question!! I have often wondered about this myself. I would like to give people the benefit of the doubt, perhaps there is something deeper to their response than we know about. For example, I know a gal who has very debilitating seizures who lives a happy normal life while on medications. However, in the event of pregnancy some of the meds she's currently on would have to be discontinued during the entire 9 months of pregnancy because of their potential to be toxic or harmful to the child. For a married couple in this scenario, they may already know ahead of time that this may hinder them from having a larger family. However, I don't expect someone to post something as personal as this on their CM profile, but it is something that should eventually come up in a more meaningful relationship.

In general, I think there's a lot that factors into the number of children a married couple will have. The Catholic Church advocates for natural family planning for married couples of child-bearing age in order to help them space out the birth of their children, to help achieve pregnancy, and to also prevent pregnancy when a very SERIOUS matter would call for it (perhaps like the above example). The Church also clarifies that natural family planning is NOT "Catholic contraception" and reminds married couples that it is a part of their vocation to ALWAYS be open to new life. The church invites couples to trust in the providence of God and put their fertility into the hands of Christ for the entire duration of their marriage.

Having the "ideal # kids" question listed on the CM profile can certainly open Pandora's box, but I think it's important to hear someone's full explanation and if appropriate use the opportunity offer some thoughtful words on what the Catholic Church really teaches about the vocation of marriage and parenthood.
Apr 12th 2013 new
(Quote) Jessica-953624 said: Great question!! I have often wondered about this myself. I would like to give people the benefit of the doubt, ...
(Quote) Jessica-953624 said: Great question!! I have often wondered about this myself. I would like to give people the benefit of the doubt, perhaps there is something deeper to their response than we know about. For example, I know a gal who has very debilitating seizures who lives a happy normal life while on medications. However, in the event of pregnancy some of the meds she's currently on would have to be discontinued during the entire 9 months of pregnancy because of their potential to be toxic or harmful to the child. For a married couple in this scenario, they may already know ahead of time that this may hinder them from having a larger family. However, I don't expect someone to post something as personal as this on their CM profile, but it is something that should eventually come up in a more meaningful relationship.



In general, I think there's a lot that factors into the number of children a married couple will have. The Catholic Church advocates for natural family planning for married couples of child-bearing age in order to help them space out the birth of their children, to help achieve pregnancy, and to also prevent pregnancy when a very SERIOUS matter would call for it (perhaps like the above example). The Church also clarifies that natural family planning is NOT "Catholic contraception" and reminds married couples that it is a part of their vocation to ALWAYS be open to new life. The church invites couples to trust in the providence of God and put their fertility into the hands of Christ for the entire duration of their marriage.



Having the "ideal # kids" question listed on the CM profile can certainly open Pandora's box, but I think it's important to hear someone's full explanation and if appropriate use the opportunity offer some thoughtful words on what the Catholic Church really teaches about the vocation of marriage and parenthood.
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Hi Jessica,

Good answer. You're right, natural family planning isn't Catholic Contraception but I have asked a few women in the past from this site if they'd be willing to even risk being intimate with their husband when the "desired" number of kids is reached, and the answer consistently came back "no". So therefore they were implying that they would pretty much cut off their husband as far as relations go within a marriage. Needless to say that they weren't a match for Frank-410833. LOL
Apr 12th 2013 new
(Quote) Jessica-953624 said: Great question!! I have often wondered about this myself. I would like to give people the benefit of the doubt, ...
(Quote) Jessica-953624 said: Great question!! I have often wondered about this myself. I would like to give people the benefit of the doubt, perhaps there is something deeper to their response than we know about. For example, I know a gal who has very debilitating seizures who lives a happy normal life while on medications. However, in the event of pregnancy some of the meds she's currently on would have to be discontinued during the entire 9 months of pregnancy because of their potential to be toxic or harmful to the child. For a married couple in this scenario, they may already know ahead of time that this may hinder them from having a larger family. However, I don't expect someone to post something as personal as this on their CM profile, but it is something that should eventually come up in a more meaningful relationship.



In general, I think there's a lot that factors into the number of children a married couple will have. The Catholic Church advocates for natural family planning for married couples of child-bearing age in order to help them space out the birth of their children, to help achieve pregnancy, and to also prevent pregnancy when a very SERIOUS matter would call for it (perhaps like the above example). The Church also clarifies that natural family planning is NOT "Catholic contraception" and reminds married couples that it is a part of their vocation to ALWAYS be open to new life. The church invites couples to trust in the providence of God and put their fertility into the hands of Christ for the entire duration of their marriage.



Having the "ideal # kids" question listed on the CM profile can certainly open Pandora's box, but I think it's important to hear someone's full explanation and if appropriate use the opportunity offer some thoughtful words on what the Catholic Church really teaches about the vocation of marriage and parenthood.
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I also do not email or respond to emails when the profile displays the "1-2" answer.
Apr 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Frank-410833 said: "desired" number of kids is reached, and the answer consistently came back "no&qu...
(Quote) Frank-410833 said:

"desired" number of kids is reached, and the answer consistently came back "no".
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Yikes! I don't think that these women understand the other part of the marital union besides the procreation part. As you know, it is to help keep the bond between the spouses. The spouses actually have a right to this union under normal circumstances (not in abuse situations of course). To deny this would be grave.

Apr 12th 2013 new
(Quote) Christine-924384 said: Yikes! I don't think that these women understand the other part of the marital union besides the procre...
(Quote) Christine-924384 said:

Yikes! I don't think that these women understand the other part of the marital union besides the procreation part. As you know, it is to help keep the bond between the spouses. The spouses actually have a right to this union under normal circumstances (not in abuse situations of course). To deny this would be grave.

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Exactly, but you try telling them that. Being catholic to them stops at the possibility of having another child. Even if the husband suffers.
Apr 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Frank-410833 said: Exactly, but you try telling them that. Being catholic to them stops at the possibility of havin...
(Quote) Frank-410833 said:

Exactly, but you try telling them that. Being catholic to them stops at the possibility of having another child. Even if the husband suffers.
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Not only the husband will suffer (and some women if it was vice versa), but the marriage itself will suffer. An easy way to kill a marriage is to stop having sex. It is very good that you are asking the women about this ahead of time, count your blessings on this. I wouldn't ask on the first email though, heehee :)

Apr 12th 2013 new
(Quote) Christine-924384 said: Not only the husband will suffer (and some women if it was vice versa), but the marriage itself will suffer...
(Quote) Christine-924384 said:

Not only the husband will suffer (and some women if it was vice versa), but the marriage itself will suffer. An easy way to kill a marriage is to stop having sex. It is very good that you are asking the women about this ahead of time, count your blessings on this. I wouldn't ask on the first email though, heehee :)

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LOL, Exactly men need to ask this or they can be trapped down the road AND deceived.
Apr 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Frank-410833 said: LOL, Exactly men need to ask this or they can be trapped down the road AND deceived.
(Quote) Frank-410833 said:

LOL, Exactly men need to ask this or they can be trapped down the road AND deceived.
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I also forgot to add this. I also was told that when that time came, THEN they would consider the pill. Totally contradicting their 7/7 answer. SO you need to be Extremely clear when dating a woman who answers 7/7. You need to literally question her on these things or else you could feel Lied to down the road. hissyfit

Apr 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Frank-410833 said: I also forgot to add this. I also was told that when that time came, THEN they would consider th...
(Quote) Frank-410833 said:

I also forgot to add this. I also was told that when that time came, THEN they would consider the pill. Totally contradicting their 7/7 answer. SO GUYS, you need to be extra thorough when dating a woman who answers 7/7. You need to literally question her on these things or else you could be screwed down the road.
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It sounds like you're a little angry and/or frustrated....I get it, but just be careful with the 'trapped' and 'screwed' language. How you yourself approach marriage is equally important~don't make it seem like sex is the most important part of a marriage to the women that you correspond with. If you treat your wife with respect, let her know every day that you're still in love with her, and help a little around the house, you won't have to worry so much about not getting enough sex--she will want to have sex too!

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