Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

error: Forum not initialized properly! Please check the link and try again.

error: Forum not initialized properly! Please check the link and try again.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Apr 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Margo-404841 said: I refused to believe that my marriage had been sacramental. I needed the validation from the chu...
(Quote) Margo-404841 said:

I refused to believe that my marriage had been sacramental. I needed the validation from the church that what I had experienced was not a healthy marriage.

--hide--


I wanted that validation too. But I must admit that there was fear too. As it is I have my Tribunal's ruling but am still awaiting the decision of the second one. I also worked with a Catholc counselor for a period right after my husband left. Lots of tears.

Apr 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Margo-404841 said: The timing of this conversation is so interesting. My dear friend and I had a similar conversatio...
(Quote) Margo-404841 said:

The timing of this conversation is so interesting. My dear friend and I had a similar conversation last weekend. She is feeling prompted to pursue an annulment now that her ex-husband is getting married for the 3rd time. (She was the 2nd wife.)

As for me, I pursued my annulment before I would allow myself to date. I refused to believe that my marriage had been sacramental. I needed the validation from the church that what I had experienced was not a healthy marriage. I take full responsibility for my share of that unhealthy marriage. I received my annulment less than 2 yrs after the divorce. It was 27 typewritten pages. I went to a therapist to process my life while working on the annulment. The money, time and tears were well spent.

Many years later, I became a licensed marriage and family therapist. God has a great sense of humor!

--hide--

Congratulations Margo! Yes, God has a great sense of humor.

Rachel, when I started the process I was told that my ex did not have to agree on the anullment (like it happened even though he was already married), the Tribunal analyzes all answers from you, your ex, and witnesses. It is painful, but it's also a healing experience and once the marriage is annulled, for me at least, there were mixed feelings, sadness but a deep sense of peace. It was worth all the tears.

Apr 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Maria-350522 said: I was told that my ex did not have to agree on the anullment (like it happened even though he wa...
(Quote) Maria-350522 said:

I was told that my ex did not have to agree on the anullment (like it happened even though he was already married), the Tribunal analyzes all answers from you, your ex, and witnesses.

--hide--


Good point Maria! Sometimes the facts speak for themselves and add up to the same answer.

Apr 13th 2013 new

The tribunal's hand out annulments like candy so the "reason" for not filing shouldn't be "no grounds". My former spouse filed for an annulment and his grounds were that he never wanted children (we have 4). While we were dating he wrote me a letter (I still have the letter) in which he said he is looking forward to have many children with me after we marry. During the pre-cana classes we filled out a questionaire (the diocese has a copy) that asked if we were open to having children. He answered YES.


I am sorry but the catholic annulment is a joke. AMEN

Apr 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Joan-529855 said: The tribunal's hand out annulments like candy so the "reason" for not filing shouldn...
(Quote) Joan-529855 said:

The tribunal's hand out annulments like candy so the "reason" for not filing shouldn't be "no grounds". My former spouse filed for an annulment and his grounds were that he never wanted children (we have 4). While we were dating he wrote me a letter (I still have the letter) in which he said he is looking forward to have many children with me after we marry. During the pre-cana classes we filled out a questionaire (the diocese has a copy) that asked if we were open to having children. He answered YES.


I am sorry but the catholic annulment is a joke. AMEN

--hide--
Joan, I'm sorry that the annulment process feels like a cheap joke to you; I understand. Perhaps the deeper meaning for you could be that you married a man who lied to himself about wanting children, then lied to the church about not wanting children.

Apr 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-846499 said: I learned things that I had closed my eyes to all that time and that there were legitimate grounds.<...
(Quote) Elizabeth-846499 said: I learned things that I had closed my eyes to all that time and that there were legitimate grounds.

--hide--
My therapist said the exact same things to me about my perceptions as we were working through my annulment process.

Apr 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Joan-529855 said: The tribunal's hand out annulments like candy so the "reason" for not filing shouldn...
(Quote) Joan-529855 said:

The tribunal's hand out annulments like candy so the "reason" for not filing shouldn't be "no grounds".

I am sorry but the catholic annulment is a joke. AMEN

--hide--


You know I had read and heard the same thing, about annullments being handed out left and right. But found as I worked through the process that I learned so much about myself and the lack of understanding both I and my husband had about committing to and living a sacramental marriage that the process was worth it to help me gain much needed insight. Since then I've wondered if it is not so much that annullments are handed out so easily but that as American Catholics, we are so poorly prepared to commit to and live our vow that few of us enter into a proper marriage.Just a thought.

Apr 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-846499 said: as I worked through the process that I learned so much about myself and the lack of understanding bo...
(Quote) Elizabeth-846499 said: as I worked through the process that I learned so much about myself and the lack of understanding both I and my husband had about committing to and living a sacramental marriage that the process was worth it to help me gain much needed insight. Since then I've wondered if it is not so much that annullments are handed out so easily but that as American Catholics, we are so poorly prepared to commit to and live our vow that few of us enter into a proper marriage.Just a thought.

--hide--
Yes, Elizabeth, the annulment process was both difficult and a learning process for me, too.

Apr 13th 2013 new
(Quote) Joan-529855 said: The tribunal's hand out annulments like candy so the "reason" for not filing shouldn't be &quo...
(Quote) Joan-529855 said:

The tribunal's hand out annulments like candy so the "reason" for not filing shouldn't be "no grounds". My former spouse filed for an annulment and his grounds were that he never wanted children (we have 4). While we were dating he wrote me a letter (I still have the letter) in which he said he is looking forward to have many children with me after we marry. During the pre-cana classes we filled out a questionaire (the diocese has a copy) that asked if we were open to having children. He answered YES.




I am sorry but the catholic annulment is a joke. AMEN

--hide--


I totally disagree with your position that tribunals hand them out like candy and are a joke. I personally experienced someone I cared for having their annulment denied. It was devastating to the wronged and innocent party. Their former spouse had deep daddy issues, left their spouse for a homosexual relationship, married someone else of the opposite sex then fought then annulment. They were not honest with themselves or the process.
Apr 13th 2013 new
(Quote) Elizabeth-846499 said: You know I had read and heard the same thing, about annullments being handed out left a...
(Quote) Elizabeth-846499 said:




You know I had read and heard the same thing, about annullments being handed out left and right. But found as I worked through the process that I learned so much about myself and the lack of understanding both I and my husband had about committing to and living a sacramental marriage that the process was worth it to help me gain much needed insight. Since then I've wondered if it is not so much that annullments are handed out so easily but that as American Catholics, we are so poorly prepared to commit to and live our vow that few of us enter into a proper marriage.Just a thought.

--hide--


A very good thought. Thank you for posting
Posts 11 - 20 of 58