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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Apr 14th 2013 new
I also believe that our society and our families are so busy, stressed and preoccupied that we are often not truly present to our children. Thus the children grown up with the idea that their value is not in 'being' (because God made them) but rather in what they achieve. Dr. Suzanne Baars (EWTN) says this lack of affirmation is actually in epidemic proportions in the United States and it has been for years. Consequently we have persons entering marriages hoping to be 'filled' by their spouse; they hope their spouse will show them their intrinsic worth but of course we know that is difficult and puts great strain on a marriage. One can show, tell and show again a person that they are loved but an affirmed person will have great difficulty accepting and believing in your love ('You don't really, really know me or you wouldn't love me; there is something wrong with me.") Affirmation is designed to come from our first perception of God, through our Mother and then our Father in those very first months and years of our life. If that window is missed, there is work to do.

I feel strongly that so many emotionally immature and unaffirmed persons are marrying for the wrong reason. They should truly feel and know their God-given, intrinsic value before marrying. How can one accept true love from a spouse if they don't understand their own worth?

I'm told Tribunals take all this into account.

Two great books on the subject: Feeling and Healing Your Emotions and Healing the Unaffirmed, both by Dr. Conrad Baars, M.D. expound on this.

One other example I heard, dealing with annulments: Mr. Jones sells a home to you. Upon moving in, you find severe and intentional lack of disclosure regarding the history of the home and its issues. The Seller's Disclosure stated 'no' when the truth was 'yes'. False pretense.

Another example: Mr. Jones sells you a home and then you find out he has dementia and cannot understand or know what he is doing. He was not in good mental health to conduct such a transaction. Incapacity to enter a marriage.

Both of these demonstrate problems with the marriage at the time of the vows; no one would argue, the house sale is null and void. It never happened.

These are a few of the grounds for annulment.
Apr 14th 2013 new
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: I have grounds and have been told so by a member of the council. All I need is to have my ex tell them truthfully...
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: I have grounds and have been told so by a member of the council. All I need is to have my ex tell them truthfully that he never intended to be faithful.
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Rachel, would there be witnesses who knew him before and during your relationship?
Apr 14th 2013 new
(Quote) Frank-410833 said: I agree Joan. John Paul II caught onto that and tried to put a stop to it. The Catholic annulment is the new Catho...
(Quote) Frank-410833 said: I agree Joan. John Paul II caught onto that and tried to put a stop to it. The Catholic annulment is the new Catholic divorce and a loophole. It's pretty simple. If the marriage was valid from the beginning then it's valid. The eccliastical Freemasons in the Catholic church have been abusing the annulment process. Only a person who filed for an annulment will disagree with you.
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Frank, I appreciate your views on the permanency of marriage. Let me ask you this. Have you ever purchased something only to find out you were not told all the facts or the 'facts' were lies?
Apr 14th 2013 new
(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Many people see annulments as the Catholic answer to a divorce. Not so. An annulment is to determine if there was...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Many people see annulments as the Catholic answer to a divorce. Not so. An annulment is to determine if there was a sacramental marriage at the onset. That's the critical issue and what the annulment process is about. If the findings are that the marriage was indeed sacramental (involving both husband and wife), then an annulment isn't granted. There are reasons why people haven't entered into a sacramental marriage, even though the appearances are there.



Can the process be abused? Certainly. People can lie. Some can't get away with it though because there may be evidence (written, or witnessed by others) to contradict false statements. It could happen that there is no proof that a person has lied. As I mentioned to Joan, that person has to live with that lie, and answer for it in the end.



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Well spoken, Ray. All we can do, is all we do. Present the facts honestly and hope others do the same. Put it in God's hands.
Apr 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Joan-529855 said: The tribunal's hand out annulments like candy so the "reason" for not filing shouldn...
(Quote) Joan-529855 said:

The tribunal's hand out annulments like candy so the "reason" for not filing shouldn't be "no grounds". My former spouse filed for an annulment and his grounds were that he never wanted children (we have 4). While we were dating he wrote me a letter (I still have the letter) in which he said he is looking forward to have many children with me after we marry. During the pre-cana classes we filled out a questionaire (the diocese has a copy) that asked if we were open to having children. He answered YES.


I am sorry but the catholic annulment is a joke. AMEN

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Joan I have to disagree with you. I do not think the Catholic annulment is a joke. I am divorced and it took me a year after my divorce to file for an annulment. It was very painful for me. I took my marriage very seriously but believe that my marriage should be annulled. I have filed for an annulment and it certainly was not a joke to me. It was very painful actually.

Apr 14th 2013 new

Rachel, The pain will be brought to life again, but on the other side of that is freedom. Plan a day to start writing your annulment. A peaceful place, time alone, Kleenex, chocolate, wine, etc. You get the picture. Have a good cry while doing this--tears prove that our pain matters! It may take time, but well worth it. Remember, God will go with you through this process. Best of luck!

Apr 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Frank-410833 said: If the marriage was valid from the beginning then it's valid. The eccliastical Freemasons in the Cat...
(Quote) Frank-410833 said: If the marriage was valid from the beginning then it's valid. The eccliastical Freemasons in the Catholic church have been abusing the annulment process. Only a person who filed for an annulment will disagree with you.
--hide--

I think that there must have been some abuses of the annulment process, else why would we have heard so much about it. I believe that the Tribunals are working to correct that. But I also believe that some people enter into an invalid marriage and the church recognizes that too.

What I wonder though is how so many practicing Catholics come to a dating site without at least initiating the process for an annulment? The pain of reliving the experience, that I can understand. But isn't it also painful to contemplate entering into a new relationship and being at odds with the Church?

Apr 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Frances-955369 said: Rachel, The pain will be brought to life again, but on the other side of that is freedom. Plan ...
(Quote) Frances-955369 said:

Rachel, The pain will be brought to life again, but on the other side of that is freedom. Plan a day to start writing your annulment. A peaceful place, time alone, Kleenex, chocolate, wine, etc. You get the picture. Have a good cry while doing this--tears prove that our pain matters! It may take time, but well worth it. Remember, God will go with you through this process. Best of luck!

--hide--


Good thoughts, Frances! Bow You get a Gold Star! rose theheart


The only thing I would add is to remind petitioners that it will certainly take more than a day to answer the questions--just chip away at it incrementally.

Apr 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-846499 said: I think that there must have been some abuses of the annulment process, else why would we hav...
(Quote) Elizabeth-846499 said:

I think that there must have been some abuses of the annulment process, else why would we have heard so much about it. I believe that the Tribunals are working to correct that. But I also believe that some people enter into an invalid marriage and the church recognizes that too.

What I wonder though is how so many practicing Catholics come to a dating site without at least initiating the process for an annulment? The pain of reliving the experience, that I can understand. But isn't it also painful to contemplate entering into a new relationship and being at odds with the Church?

--hide--


Good points, Elizabeth! You get a Gold Star!

Even though I wonder the same thing about Catholics who are not annuled beginning to search on dating sites, scratchchin I know that there are people who either really don't understand why they should get an annulment first or they simply don't care. boggled They need to get some sorth of advice from trustworthy sources before beginning this process. And please be able to answer the question "Are you free to marry?"!!! two cents

Apr 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Meg-920823 said: I also believe that our society and our families are so busy, stressed and preoccupied that we are often n...
(Quote) Meg-920823 said: I also believe that our society and our families are so busy, stressed and preoccupied that we are often not truly present to our children. Thus the children grown up with the idea that their value is not in 'being' (because God made them) but rather in what they achieve. Dr. Suzanne Baars (EWTN) says this lack of affirmation is actually in epidemic proportions in the United States and it has been for years. Consequently we have persons entering marriages hoping to be 'filled' by their spouse; they hope their spouse will show them their intrinsic worth but of course we know that is difficult and puts great strain on a marriage. One can show, tell and show again a person that they are loved but an affirmed person will have great difficulty accepting and believing in your love ('You don't really, really know me or you wouldn't love me; there is something wrong with me.") Affirmation is designed to come from our first perception of God, through our Mother and then our Father in those very first months and years of our life. If that window is missed, there is work to do.

I feel strongly that so many emotionally immature and unaffirmed persons are marrying for the wrong reason. They should truly feel and know their God-given, intrinsic value before marrying. How can one accept true love from a spouse if they don't understand their own worth?

I'm told Tribunals take all this into account.

Two great books on the subject: Feeling and Healing Your Emotions and Healing the Unaffirmed, both by Dr. Conrad Baars, M.D. expound on this.

One other example I heard, dealing with annulments: Mr. Jones sells a home to you. Upon moving in, you find severe and intentional lack of disclosure regarding the history of the home and its issues. The Seller's Disclosure stated 'no' when the truth was 'yes'. False pretense.

Another example: Mr. Jones sells you a home and then you find out he has dementia and cannot understand or know what he is doing. He was not in good mental health to conduct such a transaction. Incapacity to enter a marriage.

Both of these demonstrate problems with the marriage at the time of the vows; no one would argue, the house sale is null and void. It never happened.

These are a few of the grounds for annulment.
--hide--


Meg, Great analogies! Hope more people understand with these examples of grounds. Bow You get a Gold Star!

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