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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

04/14/2013 new
(Quote) Marcus-639827 said: I met a lady whose age I thought I knew from how long she had worked in her industry. I told her my age, but d...
(Quote) Marcus-639827 said:

I met a lady whose age I thought I knew from how long she had worked in her industry. I told her my age, but didn't ask hers because I thought she was fairly close to my age. We went out a couple of times and seemed to get along well. I got an email one day saying she didn't think we would work out. She later told me her age, and it turns out she was 11 years older than me.

--hide--


You thought a woman 11 years older than you was your age? I'm surprised she didn't propose

laughing
04/14/2013 new
(Quote) Thomas-958996 said: Perfect advice. Ask her out. Why all the assumptions that she is not Catholic? She may ...
(Quote) Thomas-958996 said:




Perfect advice. Ask her out. Why all the assumptions that she is not Catholic? She may be a very young-looking 33, a wayward Catholic, a perfect Catholic...who knows? Apparently, she digs you. Go for it! 'You're a charming lady. How's your schedule this week? Would you be interested in meeting for coffee?'

--hide--


You're right Thomas, we probably shouldn't all be assuming that this girl isn't Catholic. But last I checked, something like 75% of Catholics don't go to Mass, 90%+ don't believe in the Real Presence and 98% believe in using artificial contraception so hearing those stats have made me a bit skeptical. And those numbers are for Catholics. And as a Catholic, if a random customer asked me out I would assume that he wasn't Catholic because he'd be looking for his wife through avenues that guarantee she's Catholic. I didn't realize just how cynical I'd become until just now. Gulp.
04/14/2013 new
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: I have to agree. In a sense, online dating "spoils" us, and I use that term loosely. Whe...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:


I have to agree. In a sense, online dating "spoils" us, and I use that term loosely. When people try to set me up and aren't even sure if the guy goes to church, I'm I can't tell you how many people are like, "Why are you online? Just date locally!" Yeah, I'm sure good Catholics meet in youth groups, Theology on Tap, etc., but I'm not sure what my chances are that I'll meet a Catholic guy in a coffee shop or something. Unless, it's like a Bible study going on at the coffee shop; and then he'd probably be Baptist.

That's why Tebow and I didn't work out; he's Baptist.

--hide--
Agree, it is hard even with people here on CM that you accept all the 7 teachings...
04/14/2013 new

Hi Dan:

I initially thought my husband was too old and he thought I was too young. We found out eventually we were 7 years and 10 months difference. I am glad he asked me out and that I took a chance and said yes.

One could ask questions that would date a person...songs, events, etc. This might give you an idea of her age.

04/14/2013 new

Hi Dan:

If I may, I think you're going at this the wrong way. In my opinion, you're giving too much importance to your feelings of attraction and not enough on the reality that this is a flesh and blood woman you're talking to. If I may be blunt, a man can fall in love with a woman every 5 minutes on a warm summer night on a busy street. It's not really "love," of course; it's just a natural reaction to seeing beautiful women.

If I were you, I would simply continue to strike up little conversations and develop a friendship with the person. Over time, if there's anything there, you will have your question, and many others, answered. Don't be too hasty to find the answers to these questions. Have faith that God will bring to you the woman he desires you to be with - or not! The most important thing is to put God first, deepen a real relationship with Him, and trust that he will satisfy your deepest desires. It takes trust and self denial, developed through prayer, to walk with God, but this is the only way to find faith, hope, and love. And these three things are very attractive.

Patrick

04/14/2013 new

Oh...and we were both Catholic and initially didn't know that about each other. God has His ways/plans smile

04/14/2013 new

There are roundabout ways to get someone's age range without asking the question directly - starting conversations about music, social events, historical events. There are also clues in dress and speech - I'm not sure what all the latest "young people" expressions are - sick is apparently a good thing ... sigh ...

All that to say that a direct question is probably not the best way to get the answer since you don't know her very well. Or you could go the "don't I know you from somewhere" route. There are ways to make it not sound sleazy. For example: "You look familiar. Did you go to ABC High School?"
If she answers "Yes, I graduated last year", you have your answer. graduate

04/14/2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-955401 said: Hi Dan: If I may, I think you're going at this the wrong way. In my opinion, you'...
(Quote) Patrick-955401 said:

Hi Dan:

If I may, I think you're going at this the wrong way. In my opinion, you're giving too much importance to your feelings of attraction and not enough on the reality that this is a flesh and blood woman you're talking to. If I may be blunt, a man can fall in love with a woman every 5 minutes on a warm summer night on a busy street. It's not really "love," of course; it's just a natural reaction to seeing beautiful women.

If I were you, I would simply continue to strike up little conversations and develop a friendship with the person. Over time, if there's anything there, you will have your question, and many others, answered. Don't be too hasty to find the answers to these questions. Have faith that God will bring to you the woman he desires you to be with - or not! The most important thing is to put God first, deepen a real relationship with Him, and trust that he will satisfy your deepest desires. It takes trust and self denial, developed through prayer, to walk with God, but this is the only way to find faith, hope, and love. And these three things are very attractive.

Patrick

--hide--


Totally agree Patrick !

04/15/2013 new
Any way would likely be better than what I did one night. I was in Sioux City, IA watching the news. I thought I should say hello to this lady. So I drove to the studio, parked behind her car and waited with my parking lights on. After some time the door under the light opened. Luckily I caught it, so if I scared her she wouldn't have far to go to reach safety!

"How do you say hi to a lady on a dark street without scaring the daylights out of her?" was my question. I failed to say we graduated highschool together so I knew her age! I did surprise her!

Just ask Dan. Get the info from the horse's mouth.
04/15/2013 new

Well you could say something about a subject and then say well maybe youre too young to remember that and she may say im not that young. Just ask her out youll find out right away, if you click, then ask the question.

Not all cashiers or working people in general are phony some are truly authentic, in fact most are. We all have to put on at least a little bit, but not necessarily all the time.

And why is it that here on CM people ask a question and it all goes into this deep thread about something else. Why are people so hung up, he just asked a simple question and people panic about oh my gosh she's phoney, or not Catholic or is she chaste! Relax people geesh he just asked a question, he can find out about the details later like any normal date. I think some of us need to look into our own hearts instead of finding so much fault in everyone else. two cents soapbox hug

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