(Quote) Reena-961146 said:I understand a more now that using NFP in a disordered way where the conjugal act is carried out,...
(Quote) Reena-961146 said:
I understand a more now that using NFP in a disordered way where the conjugal act is carried out, with full knowledge, that such an act does not include the pro creative (aka will not result in pregnancy) aspect is, in other words, bad. Bad for the spouses. Bad for the marriage. It is not a total gift of self.
Which really calls the spouses to a higher vocation. Marriage is not an excuse to just have careless "exclusive sexual relations" but also, within marriage, the spouses are called by God to guard their gift of sexuality that is ordered towards God's love.
The Church (including Pope Paul VI's Humane Vitae) teaches that couples are called to "responsible parenthood", and thus not every act of sex between a couple has to be with the intent of creating new life. It's no coincidence that women have natural infertile times during the month, it's God's way of saying 'It's OK to have sex without always planing on having new life". That said, every act MUST be open to new life, and using NFP does that, because it opens the couple to new life, even if they understand that God is not likely to accept the invitation to new life at that time. Think of it as a big banquet, and you invite a large number of people, and fully expect that not everyone can make it (cost, distance, etc. etc.); but if one of those guests you don't expect to make it says "I'll be there" you don't sudenly turn around and say "I was only joking to make myself feel good" of course not, you make sure they have a seat at the table and food to eat! Same way with NFP, you know that sometimes during the month God is going to say "Sorry not interested at this time" but if he surprises you, you are open and happy for the unexpected gift of new life!
You are 100% correct in that marriage is not an exclusive outlet for relieving sexual desires / tension, and Pope John Paul II spoke very openly about this in his catechesis on "Theology of the Body" especially when he spoke of "adultry of the heart" within marriage. That said, a couple can join together in the act of sex as a mutual gift of self, during the women's natural infertile period, without the expectation of new life (but open to it) and without it being lust. Of course within marriage love / lust is sometimes harder to define as outsider looking in because you need to know what is in the heart of the couple.