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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

May 18 new
Again, I think it is a growth and bonding experience to connect with others here, male and female. There are interests, different perspectives and a multitude of personalities about which to learn.

As I often say, I so enjoy this site and the many friendships it offers. biggrin
May 18 new
(quote) Donna-83441 said:
Lois, I don't want you to be depressed when I say this, but there is no written time frame for success on this site.. I have been here 8 years..I have seen people find their match in the first week they were here and I have seen others still here after 12 years.. I have recently begun a nice friendship with a guy who popped up on my mutual matches just a few days after I posted that the mutual matches was an abject failure for me.. So far he is everything I have been posting I wanted for the last 8 years. Patience is a virtue..
biggrin So then, checking out your mutual matches is the key!
May 18 new
(quote) Sheila-953093 said: Very good, Joyce!!! I was thinking the same thing
rolling eyes I am in agreement with you both!
May 18 new
Connie, checking out your mutual matches may or may not be the key. In my experience, I received some matches, but they did seem to have the least bit of interest in even beginning any kind of communication. It was discouraging, to say the least. Perhaps one may reach out & (because I am so analytical) think about why you might have been deemed a match & pursue it--at least you can & see what happens! Good luck!!!
May 18 new
Yes, I agree with Pat (and Margaret - first page) here Lois. I wish all the best I know, in Christ, for all here.

Pat is right on the money in the third point. I, as I am confident many other men, will not initiate a conversation with any woman (no exceptions) that is not "7/7" here, unless I am misled or lied to about it. The Roman Catholic Church requires 7/7 of both parties, among other things. All are a must for a valid marriage. In my understanding, if one is married in the Church yet still in a state of mortal sin at time of marriage, the sacrament of marriage does not take hold. Why would any of us who desire a life in Christ want that?

Now, if a person who upholds less than 7/7 initiates contact with me first, I may or may not respond. Depends on the situation. It does not hurt to exchange more information to clarify ambiguities, for better understanding. But to be clear, if one is not 7/7 then I prefer no to waste my time, or theirs. It's just me, I guess, as much as I would hope every man would do also. I think it would provide an opportunity for dissenters to gain a better knowledge and hopefully, at least with some, go deeper into the reasons why the Church teaches what it does.

See, to me dissent on essentials in our faith is very hurtful... and we all already suffer enough. Oh, now that I think of it from Christ's perspective, we probably don't. So I will take that back. Can I just get a "yeah" that sin should just be avoided, at every opportunity?

Pat, I would like you to consider this and see if you would agree with me: if the 7/7 is so important, then why encourage those who knowingly dissent (women or men) to seek those more in tune with them? I sense that you are trying your best to be open and charitable to all here, which is noble, but by saying what you say in your second sentence, your words are to be seen as encouragement to continue to press with their dissenting beliefs, instead of being encouraged to better understand why they should abandon their positions in order to be in the better graces with Christ. Just from what I read in many places that you comment, I don't think that is your intention, but in this case it is very much the effect.

You see, I am convinced that if a Catholic violates any of the seven, and continues to maintain those positions... one, or more... then they are in a public admission of mortal sin. As for me, I can't find myself encouraging that, as much as I would have them come to the side of Christ. Personally, I believe it should be much more easy for them to realize that their opposition is hurtful to the body of Christ - the Church, Christ, Mary, us in good standing, and most of all to themselves.

Thanks for your consideration of what I say above.
May 18 new
Looking at your profile, you are right. You have a lot to offer, keep looking and attempting contact. The one that is right for you will be in touch. I find that this website is used as therapy sessions for many. You will see thread after thread all saying the same thing...no contact...and that's from women who are 7/7 as well. Keep putting yourself out there, go to meet up activities around your area and continue to be the wonderful person you are. God bless and keep you.
May 19 new
I really think the trick is to first pray and pray some more about God sending you the right person. I think it takes risks to look and send emotes to someone that you are interested in. I think it is also important to be involved in the forums, chats, blogs and every few days check out your matches, do a different search... like change miles from home, put less restrictions on the profile search. In one of my searches, I have made a new friend and I have no idea where God is leading this friendship.
I have to admit that many men have not responded and that is ok with me. I think we have to be who we are and accept that God will give us the right person in his time... not our time.
Let Go and Let God!
May 28 new
I understand. Not only don't men respond to my messages, I don't get many views either. I don't know if it's because there aren't many in my location and a lot of people here don't want long distance (anything more than an hour away) or if it's my picture or age or . . .

Life is weird. I stay because of the forums. I don't often post but I do like to read them.
Jun 05 new
Lois, You are not alone. I have experienced what you have and did what you did, to no avail. I have been so turned off not by CM because it is a great site having much to offer. However, the male members leave much to be desired. I wonder if they are living in the real world. I renewed my membership today. I decided to give men another chance. Who knows we both might get lucky. Maryjane
Jun 06 new
(quote) MicheleShelly-873396 said: And I hope that does sound pushy or righteous, but the reply was beginning to feel lengthy so I tried to keep it short. Also I am beginning to notice that my writing may sound somewhat formal and that may not be as inviting as some who seem to be able to infuse their responses with causal humor. I NEVER COULD tell a joke to save my life! Maybe God hasn't finished preparing me for what is to come next. Ad as a side note, I don't always sound so stuffy in person. I teach teenagers all day so I can talk comfortably and honestly with them as well. As I said, I'm just out of practice on this playing field.
I know what you mean about writing rather formally. It is difficult for me to send a smiley face or some other emotigram. I tend to want to be more personal in my communications. Although I have had a few views, I've had very few messages. And, rarely has anyone responded to a message. (Even a polite "no thanks!" would be better than nothing). Perhaps many of the men are a lot more shy than they admit to being. Maybe, they are afraid of being duped. And then I wonder if there is some glaring "turn-off" in my profile. So to the forums I go....
i am amazed at how many men have nearly blank profiles!

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