As I often say, I so enjoy this site and the many friendships it offers.
Lois, I don't want you to be depressed when I say this, but there is no written time frame for success on this site.. I have been here 8 years..I have seen people find their match in the first week they were here and I have seen others still here after 12 years.. I have recently begun a nice friendship with a guy who popped up on my mutual matches just a few days after I posted that the mutual matches was an abject failure for me.. So far he is everything I have been posting I wanted for the last 8 years. Patience is a virtue..
Pat is right on the money in the third point. I, as I am confident many other men, will not initiate a conversation with any woman (no exceptions) that is not "7/7" here, unless I am misled or lied to about it. The Roman Catholic Church requires 7/7 of both parties, among other things. All are a must for a valid marriage. In my understanding, if one is married in the Church yet still in a state of mortal sin at time of marriage, the sacrament of marriage does not take hold. Why would any of us who desire a life in Christ want that?
Now, if a person who upholds less than 7/7 initiates contact with me first, I may or may not respond. Depends on the situation. It does not hurt to exchange more information to clarify ambiguities, for better understanding. But to be clear, if one is not 7/7 then I prefer no to waste my time, or theirs. It's just me, I guess, as much as I would hope every man would do also. I think it would provide an opportunity for dissenters to gain a better knowledge and hopefully, at least with some, go deeper into the reasons why the Church teaches what it does.
See, to me dissent on essentials in our faith is very hurtful... and we all already suffer enough. Oh, now that I think of it from Christ's perspective, we probably don't. So I will take that back. Can I just get a "yeah" that sin should just be avoided, at every opportunity?
Pat, I would like you to consider this and see if you would agree with me: if the 7/7 is so important, then why encourage those who knowingly dissent (women or men) to seek those more in tune with them? I sense that you are trying your best to be open and charitable to all here, which is noble, but by saying what you say in your second sentence, your words are to be seen as encouragement to continue to press with their dissenting beliefs, instead of being encouraged to better understand why they should abandon their positions in order to be in the better graces with Christ. Just from what I read in many places that you comment, I don't think that is your intention, but in this case it is very much the effect.
You see, I am convinced that if a Catholic violates any of the seven, and continues to maintain those positions... one, or more... then they are in a public admission of mortal sin. As for me, I can't find myself encouraging that, as much as I would have them come to the side of Christ. Personally, I believe it should be much more easy for them to realize that their opposition is hurtful to the body of Christ - the Church, Christ, Mary, us in good standing, and most of all to themselves.
Thanks for your consideration of what I say above.
I have to admit that many men have not responded and that is ok with me. I think we have to be who we are and accept that God will give us the right person in his time... not our time.
Let Go and Let God!
Life is weird. I stay because of the forums. I don't often post but I do like to read them.
i am amazed at how many men have nearly blank profiles!