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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Apr 21st 2013 new
Like I said I can't private message or I would. And I think it's against rules to put private info on the boards. I would love to talk to everyone though! I need the support from people who "get it", especially fellow catholics. Tha ls for the outpouring of support and prayers!
Apr 21st 2013 new
I am praying for you. It is so hard. My boys were a little bit older than your girls when their dad left for his nurse. It was very shocking. It is slowly getting better. Please ask for the support of your family and friends if you can while you complete your education. There is a Christian based divorce recovery group called Divorce Care which helped me a lot. They have a group for children called divorce care for kids (dc4k) which is great. Check them out online. You are not alone and are in my thoughts and prayers.
Apr 21st 2013 new
(Quote) Ashley-954445 said: Like I said I can't private message or I would. And I think it's against rules to put private info on the...
(Quote) Ashley-954445 said: Like I said I can't private message or I would. And I think it's against rules to put private info on the boards. I would love to talk to everyone though! I need the support from people who "get it", especially fellow catholics. Tha ls for the outpouring of support and prayers!
--hide--


The shock especially can last awhile. It is good you have people to talk with. Talk to friends, again and again. It will help you get through it. Also, Adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament helped me a lot. Tell Jesus all about it and what you are feeling. He wants to hear you talk to Him, even though He already knows. He loves to have your time and attention. Strenuous exercise, at least a half hour each day was helpful for me. It worked off some of the emotion and stress.

Rest assured you are in my daily prayers. God bless you....

hug hug hug Praying
Apr 21st 2013 new
I have looked into divorce care but the times aren't matching up with my life right now. I am positive in the future I will be able to go and I look forward to it. Healing is so hard when you have children because no matter how much I wish I never had to speak to him again, I do. Two children are involved. I am relying on friends as much as possible as I return to school. I'm doing everything I can to keep myself together and focused. Unfortunately I don't have family to rely on at all, and I live 400 miles from my family and his family too. My support system that I do have is pretty amazing, it's just hard to find all the help you need when everyone else has other lives to deal with too! :) we are managing and I am in a new place in my life. Is it where I planned to be? No, but life doesn't go the way we plan!
Apr 21st 2013 new
(Quote) Ashley-954445 said: I have looked into divorce care but the times aren't matching up with my life right now. I am positive in the...
(Quote) Ashley-954445 said: I have looked into divorce care but the times aren't matching up with my life right now. I am positive in the future I will be able to go and I look forward to it. Healing is so hard when you have children because no matter how much I wish I never had to speak to him again, I do. Two children are involved. I am relying on friends as much as possible as I return to school. I'm doing everything I can to keep myself together and focused. Unfortunately I don't have family to rely on at all, and I live 400 miles from my family and his family too. My support system that I do have is pretty amazing, it's just hard to find all the help you need when everyone else has other lives to deal with too! :) we are managing and I am in a new place in my life. Is it where I planned to be? No, but life doesn't go the way we plan!
--hide--


Something I have heard in sermons and read over and over...I repeat it almost daily:Today and everyday, I am exactly where God wants me to be. Someday we will see His wisdom in what He allows and what He does, and we will marvel.
Apr 21st 2013 new
Oh how true! I was just talking to friend today about how where I live. I live in a place so far from everyone I knew, but it's almost like I was born to live here. God knows why I'm here and He also knows where I'm going. I have faith everything will work out, even if I can't see how right now. Praying for today, tomorrow, and the future. Faith, prayers, and God is what I rely on right now. Then when things get crazy I snuggle with my sweet babies and know they are here for a reason, and that makes it all worthwhile!
Apr 22nd 2013 new

Bless you, Ashley. It sounds as if you have a lot going for you in the midst of this painful journey. theheart


A couple of other suggestions: keep a journal--write out all your frustrations, fears, anger, etc. Search for & write out God's powerful promises to you that are found in scripture. Someone said that there's a lot of energy that moves from the brain through your hand onto the paper as you write & that itself is a healing action. If you are able to do so, get a massage to help relax. rose

Apr 22nd 2013 new

Oh, Ashley, I've been there too. I left my husband of 13+ years when I found out he'd been cheating the whole marriage, and also with my best friend/maid of honor. I can agree with and relate to what everyone else has said - DivorceCare, DC4K, journaling, Christian counseling.....anything you can grasp onto that keeps you supported and sane. I'm sure many of us could write a book on divorce advice (especially the part about whoever has the most childcare duties gets most of the joint family money each month...). But Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; rely not on your own intelligence. In all your ways be mindful of Him and He will make your paths straight."

My whole marriage I had it backwards: I trusted my husband with everything and brought God along for the ride. I should have been entrusting my life to God and inviting my husband to join me there. I've got it straight now.

My favorite prayer getting through my divorce was this: "God, make your will STUPIDLY OBVIOUS to me; and put the right people IN MY FACE to help me recognize it, embrace it, and fulfill it." When you're in the pit of dispair, your prayers get pretty simple and direct. God our Father knows what you and your babies need, and He has a much better vantage point from where he stands. Trust Him with everything and He will let you know what you need to do! Praying for you!!!!! Praying rosary rose

Apr 22nd 2013 new
I'm right there with you! My husband (soon to be EX) is a complete jerk- verbally/emotionally abusive, and even worse, a horrible father. I kept trying and trying, even though we've been separated for three years. I guess I didn't want to "fail" at my marriage. Finally I realized it wasn't my fault and that with him being such a bad father, that staying married for the sake of the kids was pointless. My heart goes out to you! We can get through this!!
Apr 23rd 2013 new

I'll make sure I pray for you and your family.

God Bless,

Will

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