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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Apr 21 new

(Quote) Myriam-344031 said: ... we saw each other every weekend and it seemed like an eternity for ...
(Quote) Myriam-344031 said:

... we saw each other every weekend and

it seemed like an eternity for me ...

--hide--

- the weekends, or the times in between ? smile

Apr 22 new
(Quote) Eric-414998 said: For those that are open to the possibility of a long-distance relationship, "How far is too far?" My ...
(Quote) Eric-414998 said:

For those that are open to the possibility of a long-distance relationship, "How far is too far?" My guess is that many people answer that question based on how often they would be able to see the person. When I come across a profile of interest and they live 'far' away, before I emote or make any contact, I will, typically, try and get an idea of how much it would cost to visit the person. I have an idea as to how much I can spend and if I can only afford to see someone once a month, or even less, I will, generally, move on. I move on, not so much because once a month would be too little for me, but I am skeptical as to whether or not it would be enough for the woman. I put in my profile approximately how much I have available for dating so a woman should be able to get an idea of visit frequency by just looking at my profile.



So what do you say? How far is too far? How little is too little with regards to face-to-face time?

--hide--


Quite a few years ago I was living in CO and met a guy in Seattle on here. We saw each other every three weeks. The hardest part turned out to be when I moved to his city. When you see someone so infrequently things get overly romanticized. We never saw each other in our day to day lives, never had to deal with any issues except worrying about when we'd see one another again. After we ended our engagement I never thought I'd do that again. But then I started to really learn my faith and fell in love with it. I started putting God first and trusting in his will for me. Now, surprisingly I've been corresponding with a guy in Spain. I'm terrified of flying so 5,000 miles might as well be a million. But whether or not this works out I know that I will continue to be open to God's will and I'll be in good shape. I would much rather have the challenges of a long distance relationship with a good match then settle for someone close who isn't at all what I need. Love, the real kind, is worth it and with God, all things are possible.
Apr 22 new

(Quote) Eric-414998 said: For those that are open to the possibility of a long-distance relationship, "How far is too f...
(Quote) Eric-414998 said:

For those that are open to the possibility of a long-distance relationship, "How far is too far?" My guess is that many people answer that question based on how often they would be able to see the person. When I come across a profile of interest and they live 'far' away, before I emote or make any contact, I will, typically, try and get an idea of how much it would cost to visit the person. I have an idea as to how much I can spend and if I can only afford to see someone once a month, or even less, I will, generally, move on. I move on, not so much because once a month would be too little for me, but I am skeptical as to whether or not it would be enough for the woman. I put in my profile approximately how much I have available for dating so a woman should be able to get an idea of visit frequency by just looking at my profile.

So what do you say? How far is too far? How little is too little with regards to face-to-face time?

--hide--


Whew, tough question, Eric. On my profile I have it as " I'm willing to relocate for the right person.". How far is too far? A different country maybe. I know, I guess I'm not being consistent there. On a hierarchy of preference - local then maybe 2-3 hour drive then spread it out across the US hahaha. Sure there is skype and facetime but I know it's doable as I've heard of success stories - you just have to have the patience and be able to manage your money well because ldr comes at a higher "economic cost" than a "local relationship". I guess it all boils down to Who does God want for me?



Apr 22 new

Hmm, that's a tough question. Although I'm sure everyone is different, once a month or every three weeks seems a reasonable amount of time. My best friend dated her now husband for a year this way. It just means you have to invest in a lot more phone conversations!

Apr 22 new

Really, these days, distance should not be an issue - and I'm not saying that just because I'm currently thousands and thousands of miles from just about everybody else on this site laughing . People used to get to know each other by writing letters back and forth, even though it took time for the mail to be delivered. And what about all the women who went west to meet men who posted advertisements in the papers, during the frontier days in America?

If what we're all looking for is a marriage based on real love, then letters and phone calls and Skype, for goodness's sake, should be enough. Along with actually meeting a few times in between, of course. Sure, you're not getting the same thrill of being near a warm body for regular weekend dates, but that might be a good thing! theheart

Money is a good point, though, I think. If you can't afford to meet someone even halfway once in a while, it would probably be wrong to try, though I still say that most people really overthink the issue of distance.

Apr 22 new

I think people who rule out LDRs have the cart before the horse. Distance can be overcome, with patience, time, and a little money.

The hard part is finding someone you "click" with, whom you genuinely like, who genuinely likes you, and with whom the mutual admiration can grow to mutual love.

After that, you worry about the distance.

Apr 22 new

AND your conversations are deep and meaningful and productive... not just "How 'bout them Sox?".

Apr 23 new

In my current LDR, we meet halfway for the day once every two weeks and then, when there is a three day weekend (there are several throughout the year) we can see each other for a weekend. Yes, it can be a little pricy to visit. However, I can think of several things I spent way more money on before I entered this relationship that cancels out the costs. For example, spending time on skype is free and fills free time up that I may have previously used to go out somewhere and spend money.

Furthermore, whereas a local relationship might involve dates which involve activities that are fun but expensive or a nice dinner, in my LDR, just being together for the day or weekend is what matters, and that is always free and wonderful. No need to waste valuable time on an expensive activity. So arguably, the LDR really doesn't cost any more than a local relationship.

Apr 23 new

it does have pros and cons. The problem I have found with some people in LDRs is when you both have children, still in school and active in their communities. If you both have kids in private schools and you both have enough for yourselves but not enough to support the other part of the "Brady Bunch" family, then what? Finding the right job with a similar income is no easy task. And maybe the schools in the other place are 2x more and public schools may be the worst in the country. Now according to worrying about the rest later, I beg to differ. Now you have two hearts longing for each other but the circumstances and reality of their lives hit like ice cold water.

One may say, if you know all this up front then why start? But sometimes what begins as a "safe", honest friendship online can turn into something that neither ever thought could happen.

Just saying....

Apr 24 new
I say short distance relationships are better because you're not having to do a lot of traveling to see each others family and it's expensive. two cents For me, I'd rather find someone that's not a long distance from my family. However I do like to travel but I'd want to travel with someone close to my location.
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