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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Apr 23rd 2013 new

Don't go!!! Please don't go!!!! We are lost on these catholic match forums without you!!!!

boggled

Apr 23rd 2013 new
(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Hi everyone,Well, after 11 years on CM (on and off), it's time for me to give up my search for a husban...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Hi everyone,

Well, after 11 years on CM (on and off), it's time for me to give up my search for a husband.

I am leaving the active CM life. I just turned 55 and I decided a year ago that that was my upper limit for a woman like me to be "looking" for a man. 40 years of "looking" has broken my spirit and really worn me out. Life is short, and I need to start spending what is left of mine in more productive endeavors. I can't be unmarried, childless, and have contributed nothing to society. I have no control over the first two, so I have to take control of the last one. My contribution has to be about more than the literal 30 hours a week I have spent in the last 20 years unsuccessfully seeking a spouse.

I spent the last year pulling out all the stops--hosted numerous singles events, went on the Avemaria cruise, wrote to many men on here (something I never really did), I did literally everything I could to find a man who is my match, this past year in particular, and every single experience resonated back to me "it's over." So I have finally got to align myself and my time with that reality. And I do it knowing that I did absolutely everything I could; at least I have no regrets in that regard.



It has been a long and winding road--I have been on CM, Catholicsingles, Avemaria, eharmony, The Right Stuff...and in all that, I found and loved two wonderful devout Catholic men, one of whom I was engaged to.



So there really are good Catholic people to be found on here, really there are. So I encourage everyone to not give up. If you are younger than me, or have only been on here a year, don't, don't give up. My situation is my own.

CM, even with its flaws, is a great tool. I have communicated with probably 1000 men over the years on these Catholic sites. I have dated dozens. But in all that, there was no one who loved me enough to actually commit himself to me in the sacrament. There it is; that is the bottom line.

I have met INCREDIBLE women in my time in this Catholic singles world. Guys, all I can say is your wife is out here if you would just look around you, and act. I cannot thank each of you gals enough.

I have met some very good and devout men too. You encouraged me that even after my engagement (and world) fell apart, that maybe there was still a good man left out there. Thank you for that.

To those of you younger than me, who still have a chance, what I want to say to each you is this:

Act NOW; choose NOW; do something NOW. None of you want to be me one day.

If anyone sees this after today, while I may still have a profile on here (so I can post events for my over 40 single Catholic singles ministry), if you want to connect with me, you will have to contact me; I will not find you, because I cannot look anymore.

While I am still willing to be found, my searching days are over.



I don't know what will become of me; as some of you know, I am a Catholic author, and I will likely continue to write about the vocation of Catholic marriage and discernment, and will try to continue to share what I have learned over all these many years. Maybe it will help someone find a different fate from what I have met. It warms my heart when I frequently hear from people who say my book helped them, or that they used it in discerning their spouse. I have plenty to say, so I will continue to write.

I believe those who are in the unmarried state of life in the Catholic Church are truly the forgotten demographic, and I will continue to fight for change for us; it matters greatly to me; maybe my story would be different if our Church made some efforts on our behalf.

To those who are in Chicago, I do plan to do one more "over 40" Catholic singles event for y'all in June, and I will do a post in Meet Ups and maybe Events about that.

It has been a tough journey, on balance sad but sometimes sweet. I still believe in the vocation of marriage, for myself and all of us, but you come to a point when you must surrender to what is.



That is where I am at. I can't do anything more; I surrender to what is, and my life is in God's hands.

I have learned so much from so many of you, and you can be assured of my prayers for each of your vocations.

Seek your vocation to marriage heroically--it is your path of love, your way of salvation. And because it is the way of love, it is really all that matters.

If anyone would like my email address to stay in touch, feel free to message me here.

God bless you all, and may He fulfill your vocation (and soon) within His holy will!



In Christ, our hope,



Patricia



In CPatricia

--hide--


Apr 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Ronald-937125 said: I think that since you don't know me, you can't make that kind of judgement abou...
(Quote) Ronald-937125 said:



I think that since you don't know me, you can't make that kind of judgement about me....regarding divorce.

I guess you mean if I married someone divorced, it may not be her fault that she is divorced, but she should take some responsibility for being married the first time. I would also have to take responsibility for marrying someone divorced if I did.

--hide--

Oh dear Ronald, no, I didn't say marry a divorced woman!!! I said get married (to a single woman) and NEVER give divorce to your future wife. If she gives divorce to you, she will be responsible for what she does not you.

My answer was not Judgement! It was chatting, You started chatting with me regarding divorce, and I answered.

Apr 24th 2013 new

Richard there is always hope. I don't know the answer I wish I did. But, I know there is always hope.

Apr 24th 2013 new

Hi Patricia. I hope that you are still on CM to get this email from me. I am so sorry to see you leave. I have enjoyed reading your posts and being in the forums too. I have been on CM on and off for about a year or so. I also have not really met any potential men other than friends on CM. I know that God also has a plan for me too as well as you. I can only pray for you and for me also and all of the other CM women out there who should not ever give up hope. God will and does have a plan for ALL of us. I will miss you and keep you in my prayers. God Bless you always Pat. Try to keep in touch w/us too ok? I would love to go to a Chicago event as I live about 50 miles north of Chicago and have never been to one before. So God Bless you once again and thank you so much for all you have done for CM and continue to do. I wish you many Blessings... Praying rosary hug

Apr 24th 2013 new

Hi, Pat, I am relatively new to CM. I am 62, a few years older than you, and don't know you. Divorced young, I asked God to give me the man he wanted me with and received a man right away. We were "together" 17 years, never lived together and never married. It was wonderful. he got cancer... I never thought there could be anyone as special as him so I closed my heart for 17 years. Never considered dating. I thought it could only be me and Jesus. Then last fall God let me know in mass I could have Him and a man. I asked Our Lady of Guadelupe for the man God wanted me to be with. Two days later a man messaged me on CM that was just everything I wanted and more. We are dating. I lived in my head and my memories for 17 years. Then I stepped out of my head into reality and I never want to go back. I am embracing the mystery of change and savoring the sweetness of waiting. My situation is talking a lot of acceptance, a lot of surrender, a lot of patience, and a lot of time. It will be as He said it will be. It doesn't matter how old I am. "The Lord grant that you may find rest, each in her husband's home." Ruth 1:9 I realize Pat you won't see this, but I wrote it for the others. Do not be discouraged.

Apr 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Bahar-937890 said: Oh dear Ronald, no, I didn't say marry a divorced woman!!! I said get married (to a ...
(Quote) Bahar-937890 said:

Oh dear Ronald, no, I didn't say marry a divorced woman!!! I said get married (to a single woman) and NEVER give divorce to your future wife. If she gives divorce to you, she will be responsible for what she does not you.

My answer was not Judgement! It was chatting, You started chatting with me regarding divorce, and I answered.

--hide--


Thanks for clarifying biggrin

May 7th 2013 new

Pat,

Yours was the very first post I read when I joined 10 years ago. I went from that first post and followed a trail of your posts; I must have read hundreds. I still remember how blown away I was at how intelligent, articulate, and serene you were, you are. I have always respected and admired your comments and opinions, and I think CatholicMatch is losing a vital treasure. I selfishly feel like I want you to stay, that if you are here, everything seems okay. I know that is strange and nonsensical, but it is how I feel. However, I can hear the weariness and pain in your post, and I can see that you need to distance yourself from this place that can really be a painful reminder that prayers often go unanswered or answered in ways that you don't believe you have the strength to deal with. Thank you for everything that you have done for CatholicMatch. Thank you for all that you have given people like me, people that you probably never realized that you were inspiring.


May God bless and keep you all the days of your life,


Tanya

May 10th 2013 new

Hi everybody,


PatI hate to see you go I have always enjoyed your knowledge and nice comments here and in the Pinkie room.


I understand how you feel I've been feeling like this lately specially with my job situation, my birthday coming next week it's not easy to stay positive everyday.


I hope you feel better, everything works out for you in your future endeavors.


How can we contact you?


Saludos,


Myriam wave Praying



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