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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

May 1st 2013 new
it's nice reading all the story's ! I find piece in praying it calms me . I use to feel down from time to . I used this time feel ok being alone . Enjoying what life has to offer. Yes it's hard at church / work seeing couples together hand in hand . I also see couples at work flying off on vacations . I wonder when it's my turn go to fun places . But in gods plan I also have been blessed with twin boys that no matter how lonely it's gets threw prayer ! Life isn't so bad ! Happy ness comes from within ! It's all in gods plan !
May 1st 2013 new
(Quote) Carol-737878 said: Here is a quote fr0m Anne Lamott in her book Operating Instructions: "...but t...
(Quote) Carol-737878 said:

Here is a quote fr0m Anne Lamott in her book Operating Instructions:




"...but the aloneness was here, too, and it seemed to want to be felt. I was reminded once again that the people closest to me, including my therapist, function as my pit crew, helping me to fix blown-out tires and swabbing me off between laps, and the consensus, among those individuals who make up my pit crew, was that I was probably just going to have to go ahead and feel the aloneness for a while. So I did, and I tell you it didn't feel very good. But somehow I was finally able to stand in that huge open wound and feel it and acknowledge it because it was real, and the fear of the pain of the wound turned out to be worse than the actual pain. As I said, though, it didn't feel very good, and it brought me up against that horrible hateful truth -- that there wasn't anything outside myself that could heal or fill me and that everything I had been running from and searching for all my life was within. So I sat with those things for a while, and the wounds began to heal..."





Remember that God will bind up our wounds & He will never leave us or forsake us.

--hide--


Very good description; very well put.
May 4th 2013 new

I hope this helps, Caroline.... theheart

Solitude is not the absence of Love

by PAULO COELHO on MARCH 29, 2013

Without solitude, Love will not stay long by your side.

Because Love needs to rest as well, so that it can journey through the heavens and reveal itself in other forms.

Without solitude, no plant or animal can survive, no soil can remain productive for any length of time, no child can learn about life, no artist can create, no work can grow and be transformed.

Solitude is not the absence of Love, but its complement.
Solitude is not the absence of company, but the moment when our soul is free to speak to us and help us decide what to do with our life.

Therefore, blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge.

If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.
And if you do not know yourself, you will begin to fear the void.

But the void does not exist. A vast world lies hidden in our soul, waiting to be discovered. There it is, with all its strength intact, but it is so new and so powerful that we are afraid to acknowledge its existence.

Just as Love is the divine condition, so solitude is the human condition. And for those who understand the miracle of life, those two states peacefully coexist.



May 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Meg-920823 said: I so know the feeling, Caroline. I have all sorts of phrases that I run through my mind: Jesus, Ma...
(Quote) Meg-920823 said:

I so know the feeling, Caroline. I have all sorts of phrases that I run through my mind: Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I love you, please save souls; Jesus, I offer this up but please help me...it hurts a lot; this too shall pass; remember your gratitude list, Meg. You have so much to be grateful for....These are the things I think and then I give myself permission to feel my pain and in a few hours or a few days, I feel better. I don't know that there is any escaping it in a healthy way; I have fully realized that pain is a part of life, whatever the pain is and it comes and goes, along with joy and the good times and good feelings...Perhaps this sounds glib but for me, it has just been to roll with it and accept the feelings. I believe I am meant for married life and this is painful to be alone...so be it. It is what it is until and if God decides differently. Meanwhile I have to cheerfully hang on.
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Meg, you said this so well, thank you! Your posts are always very uplifting and Godly to me hug

May 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Meg-920823 said: (Quote) Caroline-930073 said: Hello fellow divorced or annulled brothers and sister...
(Quote) Meg-920823 said:
Quote:
Caroline-930073 said:

Hello fellow divorced or annulled brothers and sisters. I went to a special event at our parish tonight - praise and worship, speaker, adoration. I was reminded how lonely it can be to have a wonderful spiritual encounter with the Lord, but yet not to be able to reach out and hold hands with a special someone who also shares that encounter. I find myself sad when I see happy couples together in mass, or parents with children at mass who have the luxury of being able to tag-team it with the cranky ones. Balancing housework, homework, car repair, job stress, school meetings, etc. is just NOT meant to be done alone.



Looking for tips to battle the lonely times and stay hopeful in God's plan for us. God bless you!




I so know the feeling, Caroline. I have all sorts of phrases that I run through my mind: Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I love you, please save souls; Jesus, I offer this up but please help me...it hurts a lot; this too shall pass; remember your gratitude list, Meg. You have so much to be grateful for....These are the things I think and then I give myself permission to feel my pain and in a few hours or a few days, I feel better. I don't know that there is any escaping it in a healthy way; I have fully realized that pain is a part of life, whatever the pain is and it comes and goes, along with joy and the good times and good feelings...Perhaps this sounds glib but for me, it has just been to roll with it and accept the feelings. I believe I am meant for married life and this is painful to be alone...so be it. It is what it is until and if God decides differently. Meanwhile I have to cheerfully hang on.
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Meg,

Under some difficult circumstances, you have a wonderful attitude. Yes, there will hurts, pains, disappointments and sad moments in life. From reading your posts, I feel you are up to the task. Your strong faith will be your anchor in the ocean.

Always remember - without a cross, there can be no crown. One day in the afterlife, God will reward you that crown.

Blessings always, Praying hug rose

Leon

May 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Edward-936874 said: Thoughts: When I think of dealing with feelings of sadness, it is helpful for me to remem...
(Quote) Edward-936874 said:

Thoughts:

When I think of dealing with feelings of sadness, it is helpful for me to remember they are a natural reaction to loss of some kind, whether it be security, companionship, personal well being, or whatever. In any case, it is also helpful for me to remember that at that time it may be important to consider the need for growth on a deeper level than where I have been before, and to discover how to find and embrace contentment with life as it is, not how I would wish it to be. I am also reminded that even if I could be in a different state of life, e.g., married, that does not mean it will be without tears or challenge associated with other losses.

By spending time cultivating thoughts, leading to feelings of acceptance and appreciation for what is and my current state of life, then anxiousness subsides, and the mind and heart open to creative living in the here and now.

"But I have cried to God: and the Lord will save me" (Psalm 54:17).

There is a beautiful video you might enjoy: Eucharistic Adoration at Catholic Underground. God bless.

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Well said Edward. I agree with you. I think that you have to be appreciative and thankful for today. If each day you get up and think of your blessings and are truly thankful for them today then you will be happy. You need to live in the present because thinking of what you do not have only makes you sad. If you and appreciate each and everyday regardless of whether you are single or in a relationship you will be happy. The key is to look for the good in your life as it is, appreciate every blessing you have right now in your life concentrating on the positives and you will be happy.

May 6th 2013 new
Center yourself around Christ, the lonlyness will disappear.
May 6th 2013 new
We all need somebody, yes its true. But, how many people out there have partners and are still feeling alone. A solid prayer life,, keeps you from dispairing in lonlyness. Jesus fills the void..
May 7th 2013 new

For me as a divorced Catholic, I miss the companionship. Someone to share my life with. I'm hoping to find a practicing Catholic on CM.

May 7th 2013 new
We are wired for marriage, as Adam and Eve. 'It is not good that man be alone.'
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