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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Age Difference in Dating

Apr 21st 2013 new

I have heard the so-called dating experts say it is best to try to date someone as close to your age as possible. I am not sure I necessarily agree with that so I am wondering what y'all think. I think the connection you have with someone is far more important regardless of age. I know as men age, they tend to date younger women, although that has seemed to change a bit in modern society. Has anyone ever dated someone where there was a significant age difference and how did that turn out?

Apr 21st 2013 new

Age smage.Whatever works. biggrin

Apr 21st 2013 new
Emotional and spiritual age is far more important than chronological age. Some people are wise beyond their years, and others never grow up. My brother-in-law is twelve years older than my sister and they are still married after 29 years. What can be helpful is to find someone at the same spot in life, whatever that may be, and that does not necessarily have anything to do with chronological age.
Apr 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: I have heard the so-called dating experts say it is best to try to date someone as close to you...
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said:

I have heard the so-called dating experts say it is best to try to date someone as close to your age as possible. I am not sure I necessarily agree with that so I am wondering what y'all think. I think the connection you have with someone is far more important regardless of age. I know as men age, they tend to date younger women, although that has seemed to change a bit in modern society. Has anyone ever dated someone where there was a significant age difference and how did that turn out?

--hide--


Hello Patrick, I think so many things factor in besides age also. My ex was 13 years older than me. One of the cool things from that relationship was that he was able to give me good advise on workplace, business and career as he's been in the workplace longer and has held many higher up positions. I didn't have to worry about him "acting out" especially when he's with his buddies because even their activity preference is more low key.Anyway, our age difference was not the reason why it ended, that is all I can say about that biggrin.

Apr 22nd 2013 new
I've always been more attracted to older men. I've had a few long term relationships with guys 10-12 years older and age was never a problem. I'm talking to a guy who is 12 years older right now and most of my family just shake their heads biggrin
Apr 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: I have heard the so-called dating experts say it is best to try to date someone as close to you...
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said:

I have heard the so-called dating experts say it is best to try to date someone as close to your age as possible. I am not sure I necessarily agree with that so I am wondering what y'all think. I think the connection you have with someone is far more important regardless of age. I know as men age, they tend to date younger women, although that has seemed to change a bit in modern society. Has anyone ever dated someone where there was a significant age difference and how did that turn out?

--hide--

twice I was seeing women about 6-7 years older. They were in their mid-30's at the time. I am not sure if that qualifies as significant age difference. Why didn't it work out? One was due to distance. The other, I am not exactly sure as they didn't specify. I, at this point in my life, prefer older women. There is certainly exceptions to that, though. They seem less anxious, more confident, and warmer.

If the age difference is big enough there could be a big difference then in the cultural phenomenon that each was exposed to, i.e music, social movements, etc...This may be a significant thing to someone. I guess alot depends on the focus of the person. Do they look, primarily, for someone who they can focus on the past with or someone who they can focus on the future with.

Apr 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Andrew-290721 said: Emotional and spiritual age is far more important than chronological age. Some people are wise beyond t...
(Quote) Andrew-290721 said: Emotional and spiritual age is far more important than chronological age. Some people are wise beyond their years, and others never grow up. My brother-in-law is twelve years older than my sister and they are still married after 29 years. What can be helpful is to find someone at the same spot in life, whatever that may be, and that does not necessarily have anything to do with chronological age.
--hide--

Well said Andrew. As the Catechism( http://www.vatican.va) states:

1308. Although Confirmation is sometimes called the "sacrament of Christian maturity", we must not confuse adult faith with the age of natural growth, nor forget that the baptismal grace is a grace of free, unmerited election and does not need "ratification" to become effective. St Thomas reminds us of this:

Age of body does not determine age of soul. Even in childhood man can attain spiritual maturity: as the book of Wisdom says: "For old age is not honored for length of time, or measured by number of years." Many children, through the strength of the Holy Spirit they have received, have bravely fought for Christ even to the shedding of their blood.(STh III, 72,8, ad 2; Cf. Wis 4:8.)

Apr 22nd 2013 new

Who ARE these "so-called experts"? What do they know about anything?

You date someone who likes to date YOU. That's it. It's really not that difficult.

Some people get along better with people older than they are, some with younger. WHO CARES?

Apr 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Who ARE these "so-called experts"? What do they know about anything?You...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Who ARE these "so-called experts"? What do they know about anything?

You date someone who likes to date YOU. That's it. It's really not that difficult.

Some people get along better with people older than they are, some with younger. WHO CARES?

--hide--


True, we do overthink things here sometimes laughing But at the same time, people do care - maybe out of curiosity, maybe to get a better idea of what is considered "normal", perhaps to adjust their dating strategy, whether or not that would be wise. But yeah, experts are wrong a lot. I remember we used to have a whole bunch of old issues of NatGeo in the basement when I was a kid. There was one from the 1970's where the cover issue was on the coming Ice Age. At least back then even the experts had the humility to end the article by saying basically, "this is what we think, but we could be wrong." cool

Anyway, on topic, I'd probably date someone up to ten years older, but only about two years younger, maybe. Then again, real life usually has nothing to do with expectations or my own ideas of how things should be laughing

Apr 22nd 2013 new

I once went out with a guy I met here on CM. I was about 20 years older than him! He told me that I could have lied and said I was 20 years younger and he would have believed me! It was all very flattering. I don't mind younger men, if they do not mind. I am also open to men my age and older. Though, I have never dated a man more than 4 years older than me. I always say, "God Will, not mine." To me, age does not matter. It is what is in the heart and mind. God bless, Veronica theheart

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