Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for general discussion that doesn't specifically fit into one of the other CatholicMatch rooms. Topics should not be overly serious as this is to be more of a "cafe setting."

Saint Peter's Square was created so that more people could be in the presence of the Pope and was named after Saint Peter, one of Jesus's apostles.
Learn More: Saint Peter

Apr 25 new

(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: Oh yes! Chivalry is not dead. It's rare, but not extinct. I don't think it is really endangered. I...
(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: Oh yes! Chivalry is not dead. It's rare, but not extinct. I don't think it is really endangered. I just think it is rare by nature. If it were extremely common we would not really be impressed by it, I think.

In my work, I meet a good number of people of all ages and cultures (I know, surprising since I am in KY-- go figure, the world comes here. It is that GOOD! ) I give tours to our properties. We go in and out of buildings all the time. I have learned that behavior towards others comes from attitude. I do get the doors held for me. I think it is because I expect that. I don't rush ahead, and my body language conveys that I am a lady who expects to be treated as such. Gentlemen, because I treat them as such (smile, call them "sir", dress appropriately, and give them opportunity to be chivalrous), respond with chivalrous actions. I do think I see this more from men younger than myself, though. And those older. My age bracket could use some work. Of course, my age bracket of women have done a number on them, as we refused to have the door held for us in our stupid college years. ( Oh the foolishness of youth! We did not know what gift we were snuffing out!! Please forgive us.)

But chivalry goes beyond holding doors. It means adjusting one's language to be more genteel in the presence of ladies. It means being willing to take personal risks to defend and protect women and children. (Men who are visibly active in the prolife movement are chivalrous, in my mind.) It means taking care of a woman's financial need. (An example of this is covering the meal tab, or helping to pay for gas when you are traveling with her. This is something that I have had some of my chivalrous male friends do for me.) It means leading spiritually-- directing the group to pray, setting a standard and direction of faith, remembering to put God first.

Chivalry isn't gone. It's just hidden. It's been so hidden that many people think it is mythical. Kind of adds to the romance of it, doesn't it, for those of us that know it? I am blessed to know some chivalry, and I crave more because it inspires me to be a lady.

Thank you, Sir Jerry!
--hide--
Well....THANK YOU Dawn! And here's one for you....hug

Apr 25 new
(Quote) Mary-363093 said: Gentlemen - on behalf of the women who truly DO appreciate chivalry - I thank you sincerely. Many o...
(Quote) Mary-363093 said:

Gentlemen - on behalf of the women who truly DO appreciate chivalry - I thank you sincerely. Many of us really do notice even the smallest gesture - it can make our day. A door (car, building - either or both) held may get you noticed more than you realize, not only by the lady you are holding it for, but by others around her as well.

--hide--


scratchchin Reminds me of a man I dated for awhile. He started opening my car door the day he met my mother. He wanted to impress her. Hmmm. Isn't there something out of sorts there? Just one more reason he was not quite right for me. rolling eyes
Apr 25 new
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: Outstanding post Kate. And where it all begins (in my opinion) is in the home. It originates from fine parents ...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:

Outstanding post Kate. And where it all begins (in my opinion) is in the home. It originates from fine parents like you. Mine ALWAYS taught us to be mannerly. I hope he doesn't (your son) too discouraged. I think it is admirable...and you can tell him Kate!
I'm not discouraged. I opened a door for a lady one time who winced and said..."Hon that isn't done anymore" So I smiled and said, "You're welcome anyway" There is an old saying: "Do the right thing.....because it's the right thing to do" Thanks for posting~

--hide--


Jerry, that lady was wrong! There are plenty of women out there who appreciate a door being opened for them. I know I do. I will even hold a door open for a senior sometimes.

It has to do with manners. Our manners are a reflection of who we are, and how we were raised. When I see good manners in men or children, usually I will think to myself that the person must have a decent and fine mother. Unfortunately, the converse seems true, but is not necessarily true. But very good manners should not always be expected from others. If we don't expect them, when someone does a good turn, it is appreciated even moreso.
Apr 25 new
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: Thank you Audrey. One time....not long ago.... a young man of perhaps 15 or 16 held a door open for me! I thoug...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:

Thank you Audrey. One time....not long ago.... a young man of perhaps 15 or 16 held a door open for me! I thought....my word! There ARE still plenty of good people around who have been TAUGHT well. I told him "Thank you sir"

--hide--


Wow, you called a 15-year-old, sir?
Apr 25 new
(Quote) Peter-793888 said: There are good people out there, while I won't say this is chilary, it was non the less...
(Quote) Peter-793888 said:




There are good people out there, while I won't say this is chilary, it was non the less greatly appreciated. I was sitting in a restraunt alone enjoying my Good Friday fish & chips, and when the waitress came by I asked for a refil on the drink and the cheque. The waitress proceeded to inform me that a refil was on its way, but the cheuque had already been covered by another patron, thankfully she gave me his first name. I'm guessing he came in for take-out and payed for my order at the take-out counter, beacuse I didn't see him sitting in the dining room, and he had left by the time I was told that it had been taken care of. I saw the guy on Easter Sunday who I thought was "guilty" and thanked him, and sure enough I was right!




Personally I think it's polite to hold the door for others, and while I prefer to hold the door for a lady do not get offended if she holds a door open for me (assuming she gets there first and it's conveniant). That said I have had women tell me that it's rude & disrespectful to hold doors open for a lady because it demonstrates that I don't think they have the strength to do it themselves, or am instilling the sterotypical behavior that women should be barefoot, pregnanat and in the kitchen! So I've just ignored those women because I'm not doing it for any of those reasons, I'm doing it because its the polite thing to do, and I was at the door first! Thankfully most women just say thank you.

--hide--


This is just wrong! Peter, as women age, they actually may not have the physical strength to easily open some heavy doors. Our bones get brittle much more readily than men's, so opening especially those heavy glass store doors, or heavy wooden church doors, is really appreciated.

I notice that when I go out to a shopping center or something, that young men especially will hold a door open for my mother. If I see it, I will thank them as well, for opening for her.
Apr 25 new

(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said: Wow, you called a 15-year-old, sir?
(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said:

Wow, you called a 15-year-old, sir?
--hide--
laughing Jacqueline....I did...because he did something a lot of OLDER men wouldn't do....and it IS a very mature thing to do. Besides if you say "young man" sometimes it sounds condescending. I think he liked it when I said it because he smiled and had this look of .....importance! Sometimes I just give a simple "thank you" but I READ him right...I figured he'd like it. (it's a guy thing...you know?jk!)

Apr 25 new
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: Jacqueline....I did...because he did something a lot of OLDER men wouldn't do....and it IS a very mature t...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:

Jacqueline....I did...because he did something a lot of OLDER men wouldn't do....and it IS a very mature thing to do. Besides if you say "young man" sometimes it sounds condescending. I think he liked it when I said it because he smiled and had this look of .....importance! Sometimes I just give a simple "thank you" but I READ him right...I figured he'd like it. (it's a guy thing...you know?jk!)

--hide--


It was a good move, I think. I believe in rewarding kindness and goodness.
Apr 26 new

"Chivalry isn't gone. It's just hidden" Dawn, perhaps this statement sums up quite a bit. Because some guys (and we're talking old and young alike) are tentative or afraid....for maybe fearing what others think..
I say-- Guys just TAKE the opportunity and do it. You will receive more appreciation than disdain. Just my two cents

Apr 26 new

I was once at a convenience service station. An elderly lady had parked her car near an air machine and was standing at the register asking for quarters. Behind her were a couple of men and myself behind them. She was asking the attendant how the machine worked and what to do. I could see these guys in front of me were wanting to purchase and leave. They were getting impatient. Whereas I read the poor lady just needed help. So I said, "Ma'am I'll help you. Just come with me" She turned with a somewhat shocked look...as the other 2 were turning around. So she said, "Thank you so much...is there anything I can do?" I told her she could pull her car a little forward and watch what I did if she wanted. SHE DID! She was watching everything I was doing! (maybe she would know the next time...by herself...maybe not) I think I was there for a reason though. Upon inspecting the tires I noticed "dry rot" (when a car sits often and is not driven the tires crack badly...making them dangerous enough to burst) I said, "Do you see this cracking?" She indicated she did. I said "It is from the tires getting some age on them..so I'm not going t put much air in them. (didn't want to say you're not driving enough!) It can be unsafe. I would take this to a tire store right away." (I was worried for this soul now) She said she would drive straight to the Firestone dealer...which meant she lived nearby...because I've used the same one. I said, "I recommend you do. Do you want me to follow you?" (this was only to make sure she went!) She NOW SAW my worry and said, "No that's all right...I WILL go right now and see about getting tires. I know I need to...but thank you for your kindness young man...can I pay you something?" I politely refused and said, "You just did...calling me young man!" We both smiled. And as she was leaving I watched and prayed that little lady took care of the problem.

Apr 26 new

(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: I was once at a convenience service station. An elderly lady had parked her car near an air machi...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:

I was once at a convenience service station. An elderly lady had parked her car near an air machine and was standing at the register asking for quarters. Behind her were a couple of men and myself behind them. She was asking the attendant how the machine worked and what to do. I could see these guys in front of me were wanting to purchase and leave. They were getting impatient. Whereas I read the poor lady just needed help. So I said, "Ma'am I'll help you. Just come with me" She turned with a somewhat shocked look...as the other 2 were turning around. So she said, "Thank you so much...is there anything I can do?" I told her she could pull her car a little forward and watch what I did if she wanted. SHE DID! She was watching everything I was doing! (maybe she would know the next time...by herself...maybe not) I think I was there for a reason though. Upon inspecting the tires I noticed "dry rot" (when a car sits often and is not driven the tires crack badly...making them dangerous enough to burst) I said, "Do you see this cracking?" She indicated she did. I said "It is from the tires getting some age on them..so I'm not going t put much air in them. (didn't want to say you're not driving enough!) It can be unsafe. I would take this to a tire store right away." (I was worried for this soul now) She said she would drive straight to the Firestone dealer...which meant she lived nearby...because I've used the same one. I said, "I recommend you do. Do you want me to follow you?" (this was only to make sure she went!) She NOW SAW my worry and said, "No that's all right...I WILL go right now and see about getting tires. I know I need to...but thank you for your kindness young man...can I pay you something?" I politely refused and said, "You just did...calling me young man!" We both smiled. And as she was leaving I watched and prayed that little lady took care of the problem.

--hide--


You're THE MAN, Jerry! Bow clap You remind me so much of my father (true chivalry).

Posts 41 - 50 of 188