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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: Hi Jacqueline, I was married to Pete for a long time and we were not much alike at all lol. Pe...
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said:

Hi Jacqueline,



I was married to Pete for a long time and we were not much alike at all lol. People who met us separately were always stunned when they saw us together and realized I was who he talked about and he was who I talked about. And then after they saw us they got it. We just worked. We had very different backgrounds, he converted after we'd been married ten years. He was bold and ornery and had a laugh that just made you feel warm inside and a grin that melted you. He had deep and surprising compassion, incredible gentleness, a quick temper and you wouldn't want to tangle with him. He could do anything, knew all sorts of things, worked super hard and was well loved by lots of people. He could be a complete handful lol. I was the soft spoken quiet proper little nerdette. We complemented each other. We like Marge says created our own mutual likes and goals. We enjoyed getting together with friends, going out to dinner, trying new foods, having long conversations about everything on the front porch. What we had in common were a deep respect, even deeper admiration for the others talents, really strong love for each other and on the whole we liked each other -- although there were days LOL.



So, no matter what else we have in common if I respect you, admire and appreciate your gifts and my love for you (the hypothetical potential mate) makes me worry more about your well being than my own and you feel the same, I'd say we have a pretty good chance of creating a beautiful life.

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This is a good contribution to the thread, Lauren, thank-you. You mention RESPECTING EACH OTHER. That, I think is important! fluffy Or perhaps another way of putting it is that you APPRECIATED EACH OTHER.

I don't want to use the word friends, but really, the couple must enjoy each other's company in general. This doesn't translate to entertaining each other, but simply that being with the other person is a comfort zone.
Apr 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said: I ask this as I think that it may be somewhat mixed as to alike in some ways makes for a go...
(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said:

I ask this as I think that it may be somewhat mixed as to alike in some ways makes for a good match, and different in some ways makes for a good match.

For example, I'm not so sure that I would do well with someone who has the same occupation as I do. We spend so much time with work that, if married to someone with the same occupation, the household might be non-stop shop talk. That would not be good with me, but it might be for someone else.
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Jacqueline....I think having the same occupation just might be problematic! laughing Never thought of that one. But every poster in here makes a valid point. Because really there are NO right or wrong answers. But for me personally I lived over 30 years with a wife who was opposite me in many areas. But NO I don't I need a "clone" either~ IMO

Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Lina-796057 said: And sometimes, it's not those major areas which cause a match to work or not. Sometimes the challenge lies ...
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:

And sometimes, it's not those major areas which cause a match to work or not. Sometimes the challenge lies in the small everyday things: does he not feel it's his responsibility to replace the empty toilet roll with a full one, and that drives you batty? does she let the dishes soak in the sink overnight, and you want that area cleaned up right after dinner? does one constantly point out the bad driving habits of others when you're on the road and that becomes the major conversation each and every time? "Love" is too often that dreamy feeling to people, rather than sacrifice, rather than subjugating one's preferences for the spouse's. And that trust that if I put YOUR preferences first, then you will put MY preferences first. If spouses really lived like that, would it matter that hobbies, etc were different? It would be a win-win situation no matter what.

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Happy birthday, Lena! fluffy
Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: Jacqueline....I think having the same occupation just might be problematic! Never thought of that one. But eve...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:

Jacqueline....I think having the same occupation just might be problematic! Never thought of that one. But every poster in here makes a valid point. Because really there are NO right or wrong answers. But for me personally I lived over 30 years with a wife who was opposite me in many areas. But NO I don't I need a "clone" either~ IMO

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As far as having the same occupation, there is a potential for competition occupation-wise, and this may hurt the marriage. Although not everyone is competitive. A similar occupation might work well. If the husband in the marriage is less successful in the occupation that he shares with his wife, this could be a real source of potential conflict. I know that as far as occupation, I don't ever want to be on the bottom rung either.
Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: Jacqueline....I think having the same occupation just might be problematic! Never thought of that one. But eve...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:

Jacqueline....I think having the same occupation just might be problematic! Never thought of that one. But every poster in here makes a valid point. Because really there are NO right or wrong answers. But for me personally I lived over 30 years with a wife who was opposite me in many areas. But NO I don't I need a "clone" either~ IMO

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Just curious, because you write that you were opposite in many ways. What things were opposite? I am assuming here, that you are divorced.
Apr 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said: Just curious, because you write that you were opposite in many ways. What things were oppos...
(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said:

Just curious, because you write that you were opposite in many ways. What things were opposite? I am assuming here, that you are divorced.
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You assumed correctly smile The ways I mentioned in the my first post for starters " beliefs, likes, ideas, hobbies and general interests...."

Apr 25th 2013 new

Oh, I was responding to Jerry. The way the subject lines weave in and out is confusing, isn't it?
I think we can gain better perspective by seeing which things we agree on and which we don't, and coming to a concensus.

Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: You assumed correctly The ways I mentioned in the my first post for starters " beliefs, likes, idea...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:


You assumed correctly The ways I mentioned in the my first post for starters " beliefs, likes, ideas, hobbies and general interests...."

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That is pretty much everything, isn't it?
Apr 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said: That is pretty much everything, isn't it?
(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said:

That is pretty much everything, isn't it?
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Yeah....pretty much.

Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Oh, I was responding to Jerry. The way the subject lines weave in and out is confusing, isn't it?I thi...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Oh, I was responding to Jerry. The way the subject lines weave in and out is confusing, isn't it?
I think we can gain better perspective by seeing which things we agree on and which we don't, and coming to a concensus.

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Yes, but a discussion is not necessarily a poll either. It may weave in and out, and even take a different slant.

I began this topic to try to begin to bring to light, what aspects about a potential match, others think should be like one, or unlike one. It would be good if others would contribute their ideas on this question, or perhaps add something that has not already been added.
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