Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

May 04 new

(Quote) Eileen-890971 said: Jacqueline, those examples take me back to,a,saying...moderation in all things. When something is exces...
(Quote) Eileen-890971 said: Jacqueline, those examples take me back to,a,saying...moderation in all things. When something is excessive no matter what it is, it takes a toll on a relationship. My ex husband liked to fish and hunt. When it included the family, part,or all of us (fishing on a river bank for,example and I would bring a picnic) that was okay but when he took his vacation time every year to hunt by himself...not so good. When anything becomes an obsession, it affects a relationship.

So I say compromise is the answer. Either might not like to do what makes each happy separately but to compromise and do it then let the other have freedom to do their thing sometimes and maybe find that one hobby both enjoy together. Just call me Dr. Eileen like a spin off on Dr. Phil. If you could work that out, wouldn't it be great fun? Who knows, maybe that girl might like mud 4 wheeling!

Eileen
--hide--


Yes Moderation in all things. I recently met someone who could not set and appointment to skype because he was busy drinking nightly. He would never see it that way but it is true. He thinks that is normal but it is not normal for me. That is something he does not want to face is a serious problem and is going to ruin his chances to find anyone.

I think having one's own interests is good, but one has to be able to open one's life and schedule in order to even give a relationship/friendship a chance.
Also I agree with Lauren, a sense of humor is vital!

May 04 new

(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said: (Quote) Marge-938695 said: Oh, I was responding to Jerry. The way the subjec...
(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said:
Quote:
Marge-938695 said:

Oh, I was responding to Jerry. The way the subject lines weave in and out is confusing, isn't it?
I think we can gain better perspective by seeing which things we agree on and which we don't, and coming to a concensus.




Yes, but a discussion is not necessarily a poll either. It may weave in and out, and even take a different slant.

I began this topic to try to begin to bring to light, what aspects about a potential match, others think should be like one, or unlike one. It would be good if others would contribute their ideas on this question, or perhaps add something that has not already been added.
--hide--


I think two people have to agree on habits that could affect their health. In my last post I mention drinking.

May 04 new

I was married to my husband for 24yrs before he passed away 3 years ago. The only thing we had in common was our religion and we both worked in the same department. He was very outging and I tend to be shy until I get to know you. So you see opposites do attract.

May 04 new

I just like to add that it is essential to a relationship (when both have different hobbies and interests) when they are not intere3sted the the partners things. It kills gangster a relationship when none of them shows at least some interest in the partners hobbies, activities ... you name it. That shows that there is actually no real interest in the opposit.

May 04 new

(Quote) Andrea-850967 said: I just like to add that it is essential to a relationship (when both have different hobbies and ...
(Quote) Andrea-850967 said:

I just like to add that it is essential to a relationship (when both have different hobbies and interests) when they are not intere3sted the the partners things. It kills a relationship when none of them shows at least some interest in the partners hobbies, activities ... you name it. That shows that there is actually no real interest in the opposit.

--hide--


TRUE. When one party has very narrow interests and does not take an interest in the other persons interests--YOU REALLY have nothing to build on.

You can't just get together for conjugal relations, meals and go your separate ways! laughing

GREAT POST Andrea. It is Great to see you in the forums again!

May 04 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: TRUE. When one party has very narrow interests and does not take an interest in the other...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



TRUE. When one party has very narrow interests and does not take an interest in the other persons interests--YOU REALLY have nothing to build on.

You can't just get together for conjugal relations, meals and go your separate ways!

GREAT POST Andrea. It is Great to see you in the forums again!

--hide--

Thanks Marian rose , but in the next 4-5 weeks I am very busy and will not be very often here. In June we have the National Eucharistic Congress in Cologne and I am busy with certain things there besides my job etc ...

May 05 new

Compromise, good-humor, moderation, complementary personalities/temperaments--all valuable resources in forging a relationship.


Personally speaking, I am an introvert who was married to an extrovert. After nighttime activity, such as going out to dinner, all I wanted to do was to come home & relax while he wanted to just keep going because he got rolling as the night wore on. This caused some conflict. On the other hand, I wanted to spend a beautiful day outdoors, a picnic, perhaps or a walk in the woods, while he preferred to stay inside & watch tv or play cards, etc. with his brother. We never really got in sync! And he pouted if asked to deviate from his "schedule".


I met an avid quilter who said that her husband was an avid woodworker & that they each understood their individual needs to concentrate on their hobbies.


I wouldn't mind stepping out of my comfort zone to explore a new activity that I could participate in if my partner asked me to. And I hope that would be reciprocated. I would also hope that any limitations I might have in participating would be understood & accepted by my partner without rancor.


As in Marian's description of dealing with someone with any kind of addiction, we are not meant to be counselors in a relationship that is toxic. RED FLAG!!! I heard that it usually takes at least 2 years for a person to hide an addiction; they cannot conceal it much longer than that. For that reason, it is best to date for a while before making a commitment always watching & listening for any clues. In Marian's case, that man revealed his predilection for alcohol quite easily! Don't ever think the person will change after marriage because of your love & devotion!

May 05 new

I'd say that at this age, I'd want someone who is more like me than unlike me.

(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said: I put this question out there to those close to my age group. Those who have been married previousl...
(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said: I put this question out there to those close to my age group. Those who have been married previously, might have a better perspective that is more grounded in experience.

Do you think Catholics who are alike or different in their hobbies, interests, occupations, and personality type, are a better match or those who are more different from each other.

For me, these are the aspects that seemingly should be similar:

-Slant on the faith, conservative or liberal

-Lifestyle

-Age

-Political outlook

-Approach toward having children

This post is submitted for discussion; I do not expect that everyone would think exactly like me.
--hide--

May 07 new
(Quote) Eileen-890971 said: Thank you for going easy on this old girl. We would go on vacation together or stay home on vacation toge...
(Quote) Eileen-890971 said:

Thank you for going easy on this old girl. We would go on vacation together or stay home on vacation together but there are extenuating circumstances I won't get into and then he would take that second week always to go hunting. You are probably right about a better match would be an outdoor woman but when you have three kids, it is not always about you. Come to think of it, his second wife is not an outdoor girl either! What do you know?!?
--hide--


Eileen,

I'm really sorry that I misread part of your earlier post. When I read it again, I saw that you wrote that your ex-husband would take vacations ALONE to go hunting and fishing. Really, I just don't think that that is a good idea for anyone who is married. In this I am assuming that he worked as an employee, had one to three weeks of vacation each year.

Given the above parameters, if he had chosen to take his not-so-often time off from work, without you, I don't think that would even be fair in a marriage.
May 07 new
(Quote) Cindy-534370 said: I know quite a few couples that have the same profession. Where I work there are two couples, one couple are Nurse...
(Quote) Cindy-534370 said: I know quite a few couples that have the same profession. Where I work there are two couples, one couple are Nurse aides, they are married and have beautiful children. They work together on the same floor,have been happily married for years. What a cute couple they are, and they get along great.



Another couple is my dentist, his wife is a dentist too, they have a very busy dental center and are married with 2 beautiful boys.



Another couple I work with they are both nurses, and just recently became engaged, they come to work together, but don't always work on the same unit. They are in love. It is nice to see couples like this.
--hide--


Perhaps it depends upon what the occupation is, that would determine whether a couple would work out. Two occupations that I can think of, off the top of my head, would be medicine and police work. Both have both physical and mentally involved (stressful) work that could have irregular work hours. In these cases, seemingly it may be advantageous to have a spouse who has a good understanding of what is involved with one's occupation.
Posts 51 - 60 of 66