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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

May 07 new
(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Yes Moderation in all things. I recently met someone who could not set and appointment to skype because...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



Yes Moderation in all things. I recently met someone who could not set and appointment to skype because he was busy drinking nightly. He would never see it that way but it is true. He thinks that is normal but it is not normal for me. That is something he does not want to face is a serious problem and is going to ruin his chances to find anyone.

I think having one's own interests is good, but one has to be able to open one's life and schedule in order to even give a relationship/friendship a chance.
Also I agree with Lauren, a sense of humor is vital!

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Drinking socially, and in moderation, would be not more than three beers or two mixed drinks per week.

I agree with you Marian, that I would want someone who is emotionally available to me. If one is often "sloshed" from drinking, that is not a spouse that I would care to have around.
May 07 new
(Quote) Marian-83994 said: I think two people have to agree on habits that could affect their health. In my last post I mention d...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



I think two people have to agree on habits that could affect their health. In my last post I mention drinking.

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This is a very good point, Marian.

I have ALMOST given up my diet soda-drinking habit. biggrin

Admittedly, if someone had excellent eating habits, he probably wouldn't work out with me, e.g., an occasional pizza run, or fast-food French fries.
May 07 new
(Quote) Maria-963080 said: I was married to my husband for 24yrs before he passed away 3 years ago. The only thing we had in common was o...
(Quote) Maria-963080 said:

I was married to my husband for 24yrs before he passed away 3 years ago. The only thing we had in common was our religion and we both worked in the same department. He was very outging and I tend to be shy until I get to know you. So you see opposites do attract.

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I know many couples that fit that same description, and they seem to work out.
May 07 new
(Quote) Andrea-850967 said: I just like to add that it is essential to a relationship (when both have different hobbies and interests) whe...
(Quote) Andrea-850967 said:

I just like to add that it is essential to a relationship (when both have different hobbies and interests) when they are not intere3sted the the partners things. It kills a relationship when none of them shows at least some interest in the partners hobbies, activities ... you name it. That shows that there is actually no real interest in the opposit.

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I agree. A person's hobbies and interests are sort of an extension of the person in many instances. One of my major hobbies is playing music. I cannot see a relationship with anyone who would want to put a damper on that. For example, if someone thought that my playing music at home was a waste of time, I wouldn't appreciate that.
May 07 new
(Quote) Carol-737878 said: Compromise, good-humor, moderation, complementary personalities/temperaments--all valuable resources in forging...
(Quote) Carol-737878 said:

Compromise, good-humor, moderation, complementary personalities/temperaments--all valuable resources in forging a relationship.




Personally speaking, I am an introvert who was married to an extrovert. After nighttime activity, such as going out to dinner, all I wanted to do was to come home & relax while he wanted to just keep going because he got rolling as the night wore on. This caused some conflict. On the other hand, I wanted to spend a beautiful day outdoors, a picnic, perhaps or a walk in the woods, while he preferred to stay inside & watch tv or play cards, etc. with his brother. We never really got in sync! And he pouted if asked to deviate from his "schedule".




I met an avid quilter who said that her husband was an avid woodworker & that they each understood their individual needs to concentrate on their hobbies.




I wouldn't mind stepping out of my comfort zone to explore a new activity that I could participate in if my partner asked me to. And I hope that would be reciprocated. I would also hope that any limitations I might have in participating would be understood & accepted by my partner without rancor.




As in Marian's description of dealing with someone with any kind of addiction, we are not meant to be counselors in a relationship that is toxic. RED FLAG!!! I heard that it usually takes at least 2 years for a person to hide an addiction; they cannot conceal it much longer than that. For that reason, it is best to date for a while before making a commitment always watching & listening for any clues. In Marian's case, that man revealed his predilection for alcohol quite easily! Don't ever think the person will change after marriage because of your love & devotion!

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I do believe that if someone really wants to, he or she can heal a drinking addiction, with professional help. The problem is, it may also be a lifestyle, and that makes it difficult to change.

I would not however, date anyone who had a recent drug addition. Having friends and relatives around with those additions can make life pure hell. The drug lifestyle is an extreme lifestyle, and difficult to completely wipe away.
May 07 new
(Quote) Tim-665850 said: I'd say that at this age, I'd want someone who is more like me than unlike me.
(Quote) Tim-665850 said:

I'd say that at this age, I'd want someone who is more like me than unlike me.

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Not sure what you mean by "like me." What aspects "like you?"

Not many men like to do sewing and/or ballet. laughing

But luckily I have many hobbies, not just those.
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