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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Apr 29th 2013 new
Kathy that's exactly how I approached it. Thanks ;)
Apr 30th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: I think people need to, well, to use an uncharitable phrase "suck it up". This is the i...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

I think people need to, well, to use an uncharitable phrase "suck it up". This is the internet. This is a singles' site. Not everyone is going to like everyone else.

"Thanks for your emote, good luck in your search".

Is a pretty cut and dry way of saying not interested.

I often wonder about the people who get so upset about an essential stranger online fobbing them off.

Yes, we're Catholic. Yes, we shouldn't be blatantly rude. But come on people, being fobbed off by someone online is not the end of the world.

--hide--


Right, it's called life 101!! Love the term FOBBED OFF!! Can I use that in a sentence? (betcha I can!!) LOL... Love reading you Naomi!

Apr 30th 2013 new

(Quote) William-607613 said: Simply write, "Thank you very much for your thoughts." Anyone will immedi...
(Quote) William-607613 said:




Simply write, "Thank you very much for your thoughts." Anyone will immediately recognize that if you had any interest, you would write more.

1) You're responding to a note or emotigram, which is the decent thing to do, 2) it's honest (the less said, the better), and 3) it's a charitable way of getting a point across.

What you're suggesting is dishonest, even if it's only a little white lie. Why have someone start doing some soul-searching over their profile, when their profile had nothing to do with your lack of interest?


--hide--

I second what William pointed out. I personally am more comfortable with being tactful, yet honest and simple. It's probably just me, but when someone gives me an excuse instead of just saying "not interested", I find it degrading and irksome. A person can always work with the truth.

May 13th 2013 new

I don't need to be lied to, really... all I need (which I have received in the past and reacted favorably to) is a message that says, "thanks for your interest, but I don't feel like we would be a good match." To which I can say "Thanks for your honesty. Good luck to you!" And we can all move on with our lives. :)

May 13th 2013 new

I acctaully prefer when the women doesn't respond. That is all I need to know that she is not interested in me if I email her. Receiving a email that says "I'm not interesed" I feel is a let down even though a no response is the same thing, but a no response is less harsh in my book.

May 13th 2013 new
Agree with Erik: If a person is interested, they respond to an emotigram or little first note. If you don't hear back, you know they are not interested. It was just one little smiley face sent, not a lot of emotion or time spent together. I once got a response to an emote with 5 distinct reasons why I wasn't suitable for them. Hey, I sent a smiley face, I didn't propose marriage!!!!

If several emails have been exchanged, then a goodbye note should be sent. It doesn't leave the other person wondering what happened. That's just manners and kindness.
May 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Erik-767389 said: I acctaully prefer when the women doesn't respond. That is all I need to know that she is not ...
(Quote) Erik-767389 said:

I acctaully prefer when the women doesn't respond. That is all I need to know that she is not interested in me if I email her. Receiving a email that says "I'm not interesed" I feel is a let down even though a no response is the same thing, but a no response is less harsh in my book.

--hide--

Although it is disappointing to receive no responses to all those friendly "hellos" we send out to so many prospects, I think I would rather receive nothing as compared to a simple "I'm not interested". Because I tend to analyze everything, I want to ask ,"Why, what's wrong with me; what did you see in my profile that caused you to pass me over?" scratchchin Need to get a thicker skin, probably, to survive this online "dating" world.

However, as a personal side note, I sent out a "hello" to a guy here last spring but didn't hear back from him until several months later. Once we began corresponding, then meeting, we are now seeing each other as friends & anticipating what happens next. crossfingers

May 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Monica-291280 said: Agree with Erik: If a person is interested, they respond to an emotigram or little first note. If you d...
(Quote) Monica-291280 said: Agree with Erik: If a person is interested, they respond to an emotigram or little first note. If you don't hear back, you know they are not interested. It was just one little smiley face sent, not a lot of emotion or time spent together. I once got a response to an emote with 5 distinct reasons why I wasn't suitable for them. Hey, I sent a smiley face, I didn't propose marriage!!!!

If several emails have been exchanged, then a goodbye note should be sent. It doesn't leave the other person wondering what happened. That's just manners and kindness.
--hide--


Good thoughts, Monica.


Seems harsh, doesn't it, to receive a list of reasons after just a smiley face, or be blocked, as I was once! Wow! eyebrow eyepopping faint

May 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Christopher-546242 said: I have a good way to let people know that I really am not interested, but in such a way tha...
(Quote) Christopher-546242 said:

I have a good way to let people know that I really am not interested, but in such a way that they aren't offended. We are on a Catholic site after all... we should probably avoid hurting people unnecessarily. They did take the time to reach out to you.

So what you do is pick something about their profile that is not compatible with you. Choose something that they really cannot change, BESIDES THEIR LOOKS if that's the reason why.

#1. I'm sorry, but you are just too far away for us to have a chance together. Thanks though, I think your profile sounds great and you'll find the right person on here.

#2. I'm looking to marry someone with the same interest in sports as me, so unfortunately I don't think we're compatible.

#3. Thanks for sending the emote. I really appreciate you taking the time to write to me, but I am looking for someone interested in X, as I am.

You get the idea, mention something in their profile when you turn them down. That way you at least show that you took the time to do what they did for you. You never know who knows who on here, and one good deed might lead to another.

--hide--

For the distance one; I have gotten that and personally, I think the guy was plain lazy. I live in Maryland - he lived in Delaware. I drive through Delaware or close by the small state every other weekend. I have friends near the border (still in MD) and we go antiquing in Delaware. I also have friends up in PA so I drive that way all the time as well. I also have family in Delaware who would be delighted if I came over for a weekend. If he isn't willing to drive the whole hour or even a half hour (We could meet up somewhere between our houses!), then he obviously isn't serious about looking for a future spouse. And I did tell him that, much more kindly, of course.

Now, I have used the "I'm looking for someone with similar interests" before. I also like the automated "Thanks but no thanks" some other online dating services have.

May 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-384374 said: For the distance one; I have gotten that and personally, I think the guy was plain lazy. I li...
(Quote) Elizabeth-384374 said:

For the distance one; I have gotten that and personally, I think the guy was plain lazy. I live in Maryland - he lived in Delaware. I drive through Delaware or close by the small state every other weekend. I have friends near the border (still in MD) and we go antiquing in Delaware. I also have friends up in PA so I drive that way all the time as well. I also have family in Delaware who would be delighted if I came over for a weekend. If he isn't willing to drive the whole hour or even a half hour (We could meet up somewhere between our houses!), then he obviously isn't serious about looking for a future spouse. And I did tell him that, much more kindly, of course.

--hide--

Where did he live in Delaware? Greenbelt, as I recall, is just outside DC. That's easily a 1.5-2 hour drive from Wilmington (with light traffic), perhaps 2.5 from the shore areas (despite the fact they are closer).

Since you live in the DC area, I assume you're used to the traffic. I grew up in Wilmington, and I dreaded any time I had to drive to the DC area. Also, IIRC the tolls are not cheap, which could be a financial burden for someone with a tight budget. Personally, I don't thik I'd be inclined to make that trip for a date.

As for meeting half way -- where would you have the date? At the Aberdeen Proving Ground? laughing laughing laughing laughing

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