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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Jul 7th 2013 new
You can just not answer someone's phone calls and e-mails after going on a 2nd date with them. Rant. Oh well, lost another one to Ditech but all in God's plans. :-)
Jul 7th 2013 new
Keep in mind you are not responsible for other people's reactions, only your acts. You can make sure your message is respectful and compassionate, yet clear; however, some will still be hurt. Some people seem to be on the lookout for excuses to be offended.

Jul 8th 2013 new
(quote) Christopher-546242 said:

I have a good way to let people know that I really am not interested, but in such a way that they aren't offended. We are on a Catholic site after all... we should probably avoid hurting people unnecessarily. They did take the time to reach out to you.

So what you do is pick something about their profile that is not compatible with you. Choose something that they really cannot change, BESIDES THEIR LOOKS if that's the reason why.

#1. I'm sorry, but you are just too far away for us to have a chance together. Thanks though, I think your profile sounds great and you'll find the right person on here.

#2. I'm looking to marry someone with the same interest in sports as me, so unfortunately I don't think we're compatible.

#3. Thanks for sending the emote. I really appreciate you taking the time to write to me, but I am looking for someone interested in X, as I am.

You get the idea, mention something in their profile when you turn them down. That way you at least show that you took the time to do what they did for you. You never know who knows who on here, and one good deed might lead to another.

I'd agree with what you're saying. Another thing would be saying something like "Thanks for viewing my profile but I feel like we're not a good match" two cents.
Jul 8th 2013 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: Keep in mind you are not responsible for other people's reactions, only your acts. You can make sure your message is respectful and compassionate, yet clear; however, some will still be hurt. Some people seem to be on the lookout for excuses to be offended.

I'd see what you mean Jerry.
Jul 8th 2013 new
Honesty is the best policy. I didn't particularly like my husband when we first met, but as I took the time to get to know him I realized that he was God's pick for me. We as christians need to be more open minded and take time and effort to get to know all people. God does not work or think the way we do. The very person we discount might very well be God's pick. Remember, with God's pick there is never divorce.
Jul 8th 2013 new
Thank you Heather. Your response is honest and respectful at the same time.
Oct 11th 2013 new
I never knew men had feelings!! All kidding aside, if you worry too much about feelings, think about how much torture a woman would go through if you don't say it as it is but in a good intention manner. Just because a "No" is said don't mean it's the end of the world. If a relation just don't work, just tell the lady/guy what your REALLY thinking and just be honest. It hurts more when your not honest with the person and worry about feelings. Feelings aren't tangible objects, they change. So just use discretion. They may not be the right fit for you but they are the perfect match for someone else.
Oct 11th 2013 new
(quote) Angela-374523 said:

I'm going to go on sidetracked rant. So, apologies if this takes things off-track.

Hollywood-inspired delusions cause more pain than necessary in this difficult search for a spouse. The movies are not real, and an 18-year-old starlet with shiny hair and makeup done by Max Factor dressed in a taffeta gown and jewels is not going to marry someone old enough to be her father or her grandfather, and the chances of meeting the love of your life on a bridge in Paris France on holiday are pretty low. On the other side of the coin, Richard Gere is not going to show up at your house dressed in a tuxedo in a Lambourghini to pick you up for a date - you may have to take the bus to the coffee shop.

Too many people want fantasy dates and are ignoring the much more realistic and bountiful opportunities around them. More people would be happy if we stopped wanting the impossible, and started reaching out for the possible. I'll get off my now.

This is one of my favorite posts ever on CM. It is so true.

I believe a lot of people have unrealistic expectations. It can come in various forms, such as expecting that your perfect match will share all your interests, etc. I've been guilty of unrealistic expectations before, but I also have been on the receiving end of that so I've been trying to be more open. It's great advice to keep in mind that a great match may not be what we initially envision. We're talking about real flesh and blood people, not fantasy scenarios from movies that can be a far cry from how reality usually works. It's often worth it to get to know people through at least a few email exchanges to see if something could be there that we didn't notice at first.

As far as rejection, I don't think it's right to lie. I prefer to be told a reason.
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