Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match!

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

I am wondering if we look to much for an ideal person. I don't think there is an ideal since we all are human who have flaws, mistakes, failures, etc. Do we not want to make the effort to get to know one person? Do we keep an eye on one person with the other eye on other people? Or is this "just figuring out my type"? Are we afraid of commitment? Are we listening to our society giving us messages that we have to be "compatible"? If you ask me, men and women are the least compatible because God made us SO differently. Also, not judging, but I've seen people with a group of friends who all look really nice. Why do we have to find our spouse overseas or hours away? Why can't he be right next door? Things have gotten complicated lately. Thoughts please.
Apr 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Colleen-950846 said: I am wondering if we look to much for an ideal person. I don't think there is an ideal since we al...
(Quote) Colleen-950846 said: I am wondering if we look to much for an ideal person. I don't think there is an ideal since we all are human who have flaws, mistakes, failures, etc. Do we not want to make the effort to get to know one person? Do we keep an eye on one person with the other eye on other people? Or is this "just figuring out my type"? Are we afraid of commitment? Are we listening to our society giving us messages that we have to be "compatible"? If you ask me, men and women are the least compatible because God made us SO differently. Also, not judging, but I've seen people with a group of friends who all look really nice. Why do we have to find our spouse overseas or hours away? Why can't he be right next door? Things have gotten complicated lately. Thoughts please.
--hide--

Personally, I have standards and I never plan on relaxing those. Granted- and check my profile- what they lack in number, they make up for in vagueness- I think my vagueness is a protective feature for my lack of willingness to commit. ;)

Maybe God doesn't mean for you or I to marry..?

Apr 25th 2013 new

Honestly I think sometimes we have to look past strangers and give ourselves a good reason to meet them, especially if God is the reason we decide to meet them. Anything is possible. Sure true catholics are hard to make best friends out of if we never get a chance to meet each other, but I think thats one of lifes adventures is meeting people who you can learn from and teach. If your heart desires true love then I believe you have to pray and seek for it, dont give up its one of lifes Joys, even if we encounter people with many flaws. With just a little bit of effort, Maybe you will find "the one" in the most unexpected place. I feel like some of us should go out there and see what different types (especially if you find them attactive) can bring to the table which there is nothing wrong with as long as we keep our goals pure according to our faith. There is definetly the chance of heartbreak and upsets, which I have experience, but this is why we let the Holy Spirit guide us. Everything I believe will eventually pay off.

Apr 25th 2013 new

Honestly I think sometimes we have to look past strangers and give ourselves a good reason to meet them, especially if God is the reason we decide to meet them. Anything is possible. Sure true catholics are hard to make best friends out of if we never get a chance to meet each other, but I think thats one of lifes adventures is meeting people who you can learn from and teach. If your heart desires true love then I believe you have to pray and seek for it, dont give up its one of lifes Joys, even if we encounter people with many flaws. With just a little bit of effort, Maybe you will find "the one" in the most unexpected place. I feel like some of us should go out there and see what different types (especially if you find them attactive) can bring to the table which there is nothing wrong with as long as we keep our goals pure according to our faith. There is definetly the chance of heartbreak and upsets, which I have experience, but this is why we let the Holy Spirit guide us. Everything I believe will eventually pay off.

Apr 25th 2013 new

Oh Girls! You are so young! You are only 23. There is so much life ahead of you. Don't worry. Be yourself. Place yourselves at the foot of the cross and beg God to reveal to you who you really are. And then work on that. We all have things hidden inside that may hinder any relationship, so its best to get it out now and live the "Responsibility of the present moment". Your present moment in your state in life. God is in the present NOT the future.

Don't worry about tomorrow. The greatest happiness you will receive does not come from being married or single or being a religious. Your greatest happiness will come doing the will of God. Which can only be found in the present moment. Let God take care of tomorrow.

Appreciate today, make new friends and develop the present ones but cast away all those "future worry" questions. God is not there.

Think about it.

Apr 25th 2013 new

Beautifully stated Helena. Thank you!

Apr 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Helena-961554 said: Oh Girls! You are so young! You are only 23. There is so much life ahead of you. Don't worry...
(Quote) Helena-961554 said:

Oh Girls! You are so young! You are only 23. There is so much life ahead of you. Don't worry. Be yourself. Place yourselves at the foot of the cross and beg God to reveal to you who you really are. And then work on that. We all have things hidden inside that may hinder any relationship, so its best to get it out now and live the "Responsibility of the present moment". Your present moment in your state in life. God is in the present NOT the future.

Don't worry about tomorrow. The greatest happiness you will receive does not come from being married or single or being a religious. Your greatest happiness will come doing the will of God. Which can only be found in the present moment. Let God take care of tomorrow.

Appreciate today, make new friends and develop the present ones but cast away all those "future worry" questions. God is not there.

Think about it.

--hide--

You're right, Helena. I've heard it before and I've told myself that before, but you know... I'm a 'planning' kind of person so I live at least 5 yr beyond my age. Can I complain about being old and forgotten at 28? ;)

Apr 25th 2013 new

Great topic. Actually, I wrote a novel with this as the theme. (Don't worry, folks, no one you know here is in it, I wrote it before I ever heard of CM.)

The few people in my area who are "right in front of me" have blown me off. Where do I go from here...? scratchchin

Apr 25th 2013 new

28? Nope. I have friends still having children at 50.

One of my oldest friends from grade school got married for the first time- she was 44, her husband I think was 39 or 40. They had perfectly beautiful twins about 6 or 8 months ago. (wow time flies). The right guy just never came around. Guess where she met her husband? yep online. And found that they were in the same place for years. She is very content having owned and run her own restaurant for years. She sold it around the time she met her husband (no influence on the sale.. she was just burnt out) and now she has no career itchiness and is loving being a mom and caring for her husband. Now, I have to add that she is not much of a practicing Catholic so the fact that she wants to be a stay at home mom and tend her home and husband is a major deal if you knew her.


God has the right timing. Let him lead you. Follow Him.


ps- forcing it or getting a bit anxious that you are being passed over as all your friends get married may lead you to a deceptive marriage - like "settling" for Mr. Ok sort of Catholic (ie- he goes to church on Sundays - seems like a good guy- let's ignore those warning signs..) just because you want to get married. Darling, that road may lead to where you don't want to go and end up back on here in your 40's or 50's LOL!!

Remember what I said.. I know where you are coming from, want to see 5 yrs from now. Don't base your decision of today on "what if tomorrow.." As long as you grow in Christ, and mature, don't be afraid to take whatever job or career - even if it is not compatible to having children- just don't be attached. Because God can change your plans radically. When or if the day comes you nothing that you have done until that moment will have been wasted if you have to end it.

Remember that this life is a journey. We are pilgrims, and nothing is permanent. Doing Gods will at this very moment is more successful for your soul's eternal life than anything else you ever "complete".


I will get off my soapbox now. And pray for a deeper trust that Our Heavenly Father is taking care of everything. Just chill...


Apr 26th 2013 new
I guess what I was trying to say or ask is do we wait too long for an ideal. I have spoken with a friend whose grandmother says we young people over think things too much. Her grandmother said that if there was a man interested in her he'd ask to marry and if she liked him too, she'd say yes. And granted there would be problem in the marriage as the years carried on, but we dealt with them not like you young people who say " ah, problem! Nope he was the wrong person to marry! " Because with an ideal the marriage would go smoothly. I look at marriage as a chance to improve each others characters.
Posts 1 - 10 of 42