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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Apr 28th 2013 new

WE live in a society of instant gratification, stinks because it seems like in all aspects of this world for it ain't fast enough, it ain't good enough...everything takes time even developing friendships, I know a couple that is getting married in July (both in their 50's, first timers both) and one of the things that took time to develope was chemistry, when it finally clicked, it finally clicked and they are madly in love and ready to start a new life...she shared with me that one day she saw him in a whole different light and things just worked for both..it goes to show that when God wills it, He wills it especially since their paths kept crossing but there was always something that caused them to drift apart until it finally clicked!!

Apr 28th 2013 new
(Quote) Jacqueline-198 said: WE live in a society of instant gratification, stinks because it seems like in all aspects of this world for ...
(Quote) Jacqueline-198 said:

WE live in a society of instant gratification, stinks because it seems like in all aspects of this world for it ain't fast enough, it ain't good enough...everything takes time even developing friendships, I know a couple that is getting married in July (both in their 50's, first timers both) and one of the things that took time to develope was chemistry, when it finally clicked, it finally clicked and they are madly in love and ready to start a new life...she shared with me that one day she saw him in a whole different light and things just worked for both..it goes to show that when God wills it, He wills it especially since their paths kept crossing but there was always something that caused them to drift apart until it finally clicked!!

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Yes, i agree, instant gratification is an ugly quality. I also think it is self-centered and superficial.
Apr 28th 2013 new
(Quote) Sue-935039 said: Hi Claudia, I think Joseph and Rochelle both bring up good points. CM is good beause you know after reading som...
(Quote) Sue-935039 said:

Hi Claudia, I think Joseph and Rochelle both bring up good points. CM is good beause you know after reading someone's profile if you have common faith and interests. It is certainly worth several dates to see if chemistry forms. It can also happen, as Rochelle noted, that the interest is not great enough initially but develops over a longer period of time. I have experienced both. This is where I let God be the navigator and steer me towards my life partner. After all, look what he did in Rochelle's life. Thanks for sharing Rochelle!

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I so agree, Sue. If I am already interested in someone because of our common faith and interests, then I would give the chemistry some time.

I will add that with new friends as well, the best treasures sometimes take a little time to discover and chemistry can be like that too.
Apr 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Claudia-960515 said: A friend of the family complained to me that she couldn't stand reading the dating encounters in t...
(Quote) Claudia-960515 said: A friend of the family complained to me that she couldn't stand reading the dating encounters in the Dating Lab or something in the Washington Post. She was really tired that most people end the relationship after one date because there is no chemistry. She asked what was wrong with being friends first and then later seeing if it could develop into more. On the one hand, I could understand not being interested in even pursuing a friendship with someone who just watched tv or sat at a computer, if you were a very active type. On the other hand, if you appear to share the same values, the same faith and shared an interest in some activities, why not be friends and hang out and do things together? As you get to know someone, you might find the person more interesting than you realized. What do you all think?
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In my opinion and experience, "chemistry" as sexual attraction can develop over time...espeically in a woman when the gentleman is persistent enough. I don't know about the other way around.

Apr 28th 2013 new
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: In my opinion and experience, "chemistry" as sexual attraction can d...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:





In my opinion and experience, "chemistry" as sexual attraction can develop over time...espeically in a woman when the gentleman is persistent enough. I don't know about the other way around.

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A good friend of mine, a male, told me it is the same way for men. They come to appreciate more and more of her qualities after time. My best friend's husband initially was attracted to her because she could talk football. Then as he came to know more and more about her, he fell in love. Incidentally, he introduced her to the Catholic Faith and she fell in love with that as well as him. She remembers he did not 'blow her away' at first (regarding chemistry) but she knew she wanted a good man and as she discovered his goodness, she came to love and feel chemistry for, him. It was all because of a football game at a bar, with some friends...
Apr 28th 2013 new

Larry and I dated for a while, but the romantic chemistry just was not there, but he is the best friend I have ever had and still is today.

The guy I am dating now the chemistry was not there in the beginning, but after we got to know each other better it developed.

Apr 28th 2013 new

Absolutely it can develop over time. it can also be absent at an initial contact and quite evidently there at a later meeting.

Apr 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Jacqueline-198 said: WE live in a society of instant gratification, stinks because it seems like in all aspects of t...
(Quote) Jacqueline-198 said:

WE live in a society of instant gratification, stinks because it seems like in all aspects of this world for it ain't fast enough, it ain't good enough...everything takes time even developing friendships, I know a couple that is getting married in July (both in their 50's, first timers both) and one of the things that took time to develope was chemistry, when it finally clicked, it finally clicked and they are madly in love and ready to start a new life...she shared with me that one day she saw him in a whole different light and things just worked for both..it goes to show that when God wills it, He wills it especially since their paths kept crossing but there was always something that caused them to drift apart until it finally clicked!!

--hide--



THIS is very encouraging Jackie!

Apr 29th 2013 new

I definitely think that chemistry can develop over time. Many of my previous boyfriends did not appeal to me at first for various reasons, but after getting to know them, I was drawn to their unique characteristics, and learned a lot from them. I also feel that it is important to get out there and meet with people. Even if that particular person is not someone you're necessarily into, perhaps they might know someone who is perfect for you!

Apr 29th 2013 new

If it's Chemistry as a phsyical/sexual attraction to a person, I think it depends on the person. I know that personally, if I'm just not attracted to your appearance, it's really not generally going to happen. Just God's way of making me avoid temptation, I suppose. On the flip side, it makes for knowing right off the bat for me if a guy will be a friend or a potential relationship.


Chemistery as a mutual attraction that develops between two people that have just met, that I think does inherently take time. I have a good friend I found physically attractive and honestly trying to avoid a relationship with because I wasn't interested at the time. However he was quite interested, and the friendship really did not take long to develop into something else.

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