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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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May 7th 2013 new

That was a tremendous response, Matt. I could tell that Sam did not fully comprehend what Dawn was getting at, but you articulated her true intent magnificently! God Bless! theheart

(Quote) Matt-61677 said: Sam, When Christ comes again on his white horse it will be to marry his bride, the Church. I...
(Quote) Matt-61677 said:

Sam,

When Christ comes again on his white horse it will be to marry his bride, the Church. If romance were not an adequate analogy for our relationship with Christ then there would be no Song of Songs, and St. John of the Cross would not have written the Ascent of Mount Carmel, the Dark Night of the Soul or the Living Flame of Love. In fact John is a perfect example. His father was a nobleman who was disowned by his family and became poor to marry John's mother, and took up work as a tailor to provide for the family. This selff sacrafice motivated John write and love freely as he could.

The whole lover/fighter dichotomy is false. We all, and men in a special symbolic sense, are called to be lovers and fighters. A knight is a lover and a fighter, because a fighters alone is a mercenary and will run from a fight to save his life, but the knight will not just fight but give his life for others, whether it's his king, his people, or his beloved. His willingness to die symbolizes Christs first coming. His abilty to bring justice and peace symbolizes the second.

Knights also take oaths, oaths they don't break just because they no longer felt like caring or things got tough. Humilty is being grounded in reality, in who we are and God's call.

You're on the right track. My point is don't fall for some false idea of romanace. Romance in it's truest sense is a lifelong pursuit of a man for a woman, and her return of his love, through the challenge of starting something beautiful to working through the desert when the initial feeling starts to fade into a new a deeper love until they pass into the romance that never ends.

Sam-948516 said:

hmmm I disagree with this post.


If we are to model ourselves after Christ, when He came the first time He came being humble and with humility. Yes he sacrficed His life, and His love is of a sacrifical nature, but the whole knight in shining armor thing seems to me to be a cultural product that has false ideas of what love actually is.


A man should be respectful, should make sacrifices for the woman he loves, should be polite, open doors, etc. But to model yourself after Christ would be to be bold in Truth, faith, hope, and true Charitiy, not movie charity.


This whole idea of knight in shining armor isnt Christ like at all, at least as far as pursuing a woman goes. I would lay down my life for my wife and family like Christ laid down His for us, but true love isnt "knight in shining armor romance", this is just a cultural idea. Ever wonder why it is never like it is in the movies? Because in the movies it is not real. The relationships they show in movies...fast moving fast paced, with soley external visible acts of heroism, are the types of relationships that crash and burn because they are soley dependent on feeling good about the person you are dating and on external acts of "love", not true internal changing. In fact, Catholic match recently wrote a blog about this type of relationship.


If we are to model ourselves on the love Christ actually showed us, and the love God has for us, and the love we have for our Faith, then we will quickly see that romance is not this love. If this were true, then I would have to raise my hand and say I do not love God, because I have many days where I do not feel a strong connection or have strong feelings towards God. Not that I necessarily relapse in morals, it is just harder to pray a rosary or read a spiritual book etc. But I try to persevere and bear that cross, just like St. Theresea did. yet, this does not mean I do not love God.


It took me a while to understand that romance is not love, nor is it even a good thing to try and live by because it is superficial. I will love my woman, I will do good things for her, and I will sacrifice for her and I will persevere on the days where that feeling of connection isnt necessarily as strong, because that is what true love is.


Christ came in humility, humble, a proclaimer of Truth and one of an undying self sacrifice.


Not as a knight in shining armor, sweeeping all of us off our feet and making all of us fall in romantic love with Him. were this the case, they wouldnt have crucified Him.


When He returns as a warrior it will be to destroy the world and give a judgement to mankind. If we were to stretch the idea of knight in shining armor then it would probably be more suited to the second coming. Not the first.


Not trying to be mean or anything, but I say these things because this idea of "love" held me back for a while and I have seen the consequences of it. I would say protestantism hinges more on this idea of "love" .



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May 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Joan-461057 said: As usual, Marge, you get out of the clouds and down to the meat of the matter! This is romance...
(Quote) Joan-461057 said:


As usual, Marge, you get out of the clouds and down to the meat of the matter! This is romance in my definition:

We had a small strawberry plant on our deck and it produced one day a single perfect little strawberry. My husband picked it and brought it to me to eat. I would have picked it and eaten it myself. He was Romantic
A week before he died, weakened by chemo, he took my daughter to Costco to help him carry and spent $ 900. on canned goods that I liked, paper products, frozen dinners, yard products (though it was winter) and other non perishables. He was trying to take care of me for as long as he could after he was gone. That was Romantic.
He left a note in my jewelry box that said "God wants a whole heart, but will take a broken one if he can have all the pieces". He knew I would go to the jewelry box for his funeral. That was Romantic.
I believe in Romance.


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Joan - You did have a Romantic - He sounds like a gem, I'm sorry for your loss.

May 20th 2013 new
Hi Meesch! Good to see you. hug

The Song of Songs has some of the most beautiful poetry ever written about love and marriage. What really strikes me is the parallel between the love of husband for wife and the love God has for us. Our God is passionate! heartbeatfaint
Jun 24th 2013 new
Dear Dawn, perhaps this will be a disappointing response to your truly honest and genuine letter. Frankly at 63 I am tired, and though there are so many wonderful ladies on this site, and truly deserving of a bold man, much of my boldness is tired.
Too many years and I have also found many Catholic Single Ladies I have met were career women, waiting and wanting something far more specific. Usually desiring a Professional and Physically fit man.
I sort of just felt, I enjoy the idea of saying hi, it is less intimidating to the Lady than a "fast' approach. I dont know if women do like boldness, some in fact become a bit " intimidated by it.
But I feel one should always try to at least say hi.
I have found single ladies have more success in being single, better equipped to handle hard and difficult times. The joy of grandchildren and extended family. For a single man or never married, those are big shoes to fullfill.
But I truly admire your candor and be forthright
Thanks for letting me express my thoughts
Michael
Jun 25th 2013 new
(quote) Michael-856880 said: Dear Dawn, perhaps this will be a disappointing response to your truly honest and genuine letter. Frankly at 63 I am tired, and though there are so many wonderful ladies on this site, and truly deserving of a bold man, much of my boldness is tired.
Too many years and I have also found many Catholic Single Ladies I have met were career women, waiting and wanting something far more specific. Usually desiring a Professional and Physically fit man.
I sort of just felt, I enjoy the idea of saying hi, it is less intimidating to the Lady than a "fast' approach. I dont know if women do like boldness, some in fact become a bit " intimidated by it.
But I feel one should always try to at least say hi.
I have found single ladies have more success in being single, better equipped to handle hard and difficult times. The joy of grandchildren and extended family. For a single man or never married, those are big shoes to fullfill.
But I truly admire your candor and be forthright
Thanks for letting me express my thoughts
Michael
Sir Michael, I think perhaps you underestimate the boldness of "Hello." (Recall in the movie "Jerry Maguire" he had her at "hello." wink)

A "hi" or "hello" is only tepid if nothing follows. A bold or courageous man follows up her answer with something along the lines of "I would like to get to know you. Would you be interested in meeting for coffee or a dinner date?" (The distance between the two parties may influence that speed at which things progress to an actual date.)

Men and women who leave things at "hi" and don't EVER move things beyond trading superficial emotes are hiding behind the computer. Many are here not to seek real relationships, but to create a veneer of "dating" that alliviates the pressure they feel to be doing something. It's dishonest with regards to other members. I don't think this is the majority of members, but there is a chunk of CM society that thinks this is a game. Woe to them!
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