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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Apr 29th 2013 new

On a parish level I don't think there are enough resources to cater to all different demographics. Each parish has different demographics and they develop the ministries they do best. If they happen to be in an area with lots of singles thats what they will minister for.


On a regional or diocesan level there would be far more latitude to do things that cater to singles. But as someone stated earlier there is nothing stopping people informally fellowshipping after mass.

The idealist in me wonders why the Real Presence and other sacraments aren't enough to form fellowship both in the same demographic and across demographics. Why do couples need their own programming and singles their own? I'd love to form relationships with families and singles.

Apr 29th 2013 new
I think parishes generally offer things that cater to families, which is not to say singles are excluded, but in certain contexts can have the feeling that the single is like a 3rd wheel among couples. I do recall for a while when one church prayed for married couples, at the exclusion of all other parishioners. That has stopped, thankfully, I was hurt not because I was divorced (annulled) but because that seemed to exclude the widows/ widowers and the never marrieds. I think we all need to be included ink the intentions. Perhaps on regional bases there can be better use of resources. For that to succeed it seems to need support from 4-6 parishes (depending on geography) "teaming up" I think it would help with youth ministry as well as single functions. Certain couples functions may also benefit from collaboration. Then there can be parish related options as well--outreach, etc.
Apr 29th 2013 new

I think the difference lies in whether you are under 40 (or, can pass for under 40).

In my experience, single people over 40/45 are completely ignored. How many times do you hear a sermon about "family", "loved ones", "children" and "spouse" and you look around and the congregation is all 45+ and sitting alone? Sometimes I want to stand up and yell, "Dude! Look at your audience!!"


I'm glad you haven't see a problem, Patrick, but I fear you may if you are still single 15 years from now.

Apr 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:....catholics in real life and on this site who think fornication, contraception, abortion, redefinning m...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:....catholics in real life and on this site who think fornication, contraception, abortion, redefinning marriage to accomodate same sex couples and co-habitation are okay. Let's start with teh Church addressing those issues
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Bow Bow Bow

Apr 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: ... lesser than those catholic who are married or are in religious life.
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: ... lesser than those catholic who are married or are in religious life.
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I resent constantly being told that being single is not a vocation. Like FISH! irked

A vocation isn't necessarily forever. Those who are widowed had the vocation to marriage, and now to singlehood. Many have the vocation to singlehood first, and come to consecrated life later.

I definitely feel like a second-class citizen, among Catholics and among society as a whole.

Apr 29th 2013 new

Well, I get the sense that women, and older members seem to feel that the church is not treating them equally as married members. If that is the way you feel, I respect that.


I think that sometimes the conflict may arise from the fact that the church seems to want singles to get married so badly if they are not going to enter religious life. So, catholic singles are in some kind of limbo until they find a partner to marry. The think the difficulty is that there are a large number of singles that would love to be married, but they just haven't been able to find the right partner to marry. Now, with online dating, you would figure it would easier to find someone, but that statistics seem to show that hasn't been the case.


So, what could the church do to be more welcoming of singles? For me personally, I don't really have a problem with the church promoting married life - as that is the ideal place for children to be procreated and raised. But, some people seem to see that as kind of a slight to singles, so perhaps the church needs to be more sensitive.


Since the church promotes marriage so strongly, should they have more events for singles to meet? Perhaps, but in my experience, I am in a singles group in my parish and the reality is there isn't much dating among the members. We are all pretty much friends and the group focuses more on expanding our faith, rather than dating. I have used this site as my primary tool for dating. So, even if the church were to be more proactive in helping singles find partners, I don't know if it would make a huge difference.




Apr 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said:I'm glad you haven't see a problem, Patrick, but I fear you may if you are still single 1...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

I'm glad you haven't see a problem, Patrick, but I fear you may if you are still single 15 years from now.

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In 2004, Elder Bob was told if he was still Single by the BIG SEVEN-O that there would be ...
www.last.fm

True - just look around. Like Santa Claus ... they're EVERYWHERE !!!! Now, discern wisely EB.cool

Apr 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: I have read some posts by some of my fellow singles that they feel like they are lesser than th...
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said:

I have read some posts by some of my fellow singles that they feel like they are lesser than those catholic who are married or are in religious life. Although I can understand those feelings (as I have had them myself from time to time), I don't believe that is the case. Yes, it can be tough at times to be a catholic single adult, and it does seem to get tougher the older you get.


Yet, I can't say I have felt less welcome in the church being single. I would say the church is probably more welcoming and understanding of singles than society as a whole.


I wonder what others think....

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My mini nugget of wisdom...WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, IN HIS TIME, AND HE HAS A PLAN, SO ENJOY THE RIDE WHILE YOU CAN! 'nuf said!

Apr 29th 2013 new

[quote]Patrick-341178 said:

I have read some posts by some of my fellow singles that they feel like they are lesser than those catholic who are married or are in religious life. Although I can understand those feelings (as I have had them myself from time to time), I don't believe that is the case. Yes, it can be tough at times to be a catholic single adult, and it does seem to get tougher the older you get.


Yet, I can't say I have felt less welcome in the church being single. I would say the church is probably more welcoming and understanding of singles than society as a whole.


I wonder what others think...


Having been a Protestant Evangelical in the past, I have to be very honest about this. As a single Catholic adult and especially male, I think that the natural tendency from people anywhere is to view single males with suspicion until they get to know you.

In the Evangelical Churches, especially the mega churches it is easier to connect, no doubt about it and there are by far many more available single women. I'm sorry I wish that was not the case but it is.

I love my Catholic Faith and I would not venture back over to an Evangelical Church just to find a wife, as I would really like to meet a Catholic, but the parish that I attend (I have to be honest) is not as welcoming as I wish they would be.

When I was married and attending a parish it was a totally different story. My ex wife and I were welcomed with open arms and very involved. But now it seems to be a struggle and I find that most people are about as nice as they have to be, and tend to be less interested in wanting to spend time with me. I really wish that was not the case.

I think single women have an easier time with it by far. However I didn't become Catholic to improve my social life. If I wanted that I would have stayed an Evangelical. I became Catholic because it's the truth and whether I'm lonely or not that welcome in my parish, doesn't change the truth.

Apr 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: How does the church (as distinct from members of the church) treat males singles differen...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

How does the church (as distinct from members of the church) treat males singles different than female singles?

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I think that if women are single, they are not seen as potentially a priest. They may be forgotten sooner if they remain single, whereas the young man may be seen as discerning a vocation.... This is just an impression and not exactly an opinion.
I did not bring it up because I think women should be priests or anything but I think that women are given less validation as singles in society at large. As for the Church- I would have to consider and reconsider what I said. It could be changing right now since Pope Francis recently announced he is going to hire women in the Vatican according to one report on the forums. It could be that some shifts in society will change things....again.

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