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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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May 11th 2013 new
(Quote) Lina-796057 said: (Quote) Laura-857740 said: Regarding premarital sex, that also means I can go back and have sex ...
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:

Quote:
Laura-857740 said: Regarding premarital sex, that also means I can go back and have sex with my ex husband as much as I want because we are not annulled yet. Not legally married anymore, but without an annulment (I'm still really married). So in that case and with that logic, sex without being legally married is ok.

If sex is to be procreative and unitive, why would you be having sex with your legally-ex spouse, whom you clearly do not want to be united with? Then that person is going back for, most likely, lustful reasons, wouldn't he/she? I guess there could be psychological/emotional motives at work: working out the loss and grief, expressing regret, things like that. Then the divorce could be in question--why dissolve the union if the union is still being sought after?

--hide--
Hi Lina, it's not about why. It's strictly the argument of annulment. If still married..then sex is allowed. Period. Married can have sex. Not married..no sex. My ex and I have a great relationship. If I was to have sex...it would only be because...I can according to the no annulment clause. Goofy.
May 11th 2013 new
I think it IS about the why. Many things are judged good or bad depending on the why a person did it. Even married people can commit sin if they succumb to lust. The sex Is not ok just because they are married.
May 11th 2013 new

Don't be frustrated by this. Keep it up, and eventually you'll "strike gold." Remember that a person who is not a paid CM member can't send replies to the messages they receive. They may not even be able to read the messages they get, for that matter.

May 11th 2013 new

My experiences are similar to Albert's. Messages do not come easily to me, so I do not want to spend time writing them to women who might not be interested. I usually start by liking photos or answering interviews, but my response rate has been very low. I have had some good chats on CM, but no dates yet. I dated one lady whom I met through another Catholic site in 2010, but she stopped responding to my messages after the second date. I would be interested in feedback about my profile or strategy.

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Albert-964084 said: Thanks for your answer. I do believe that people should be married and have a healthy relationship but ...
(Quote) Albert-964084 said: Thanks for your answer. I do believe that people should be married and have a healthy relationship but God didn't the same plan for everyone. I have wanted to be married w kids since my teens but it just didn't happen that way. Nothing is more pitiful than a 45 yo virgin, I'm here to live life w what God gave me. It doesn't mean that's all I want, I want marriage but if it doesn't happen, I won't be waiting around not to ever express love the way I choose even if my priest doesn't approve. It's not for everyone but being catholic isn't about listening to your priest but about listening to God through your heart.
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Actually, God has the same plan for everyone--salvation--although the journey to salvation varies. Since mortal sin separates us from the love of God, I can say with 100% confidence that He isn't whispering to anyone's heart that premarital sex is really ok. Deep down, I think most people who rail against the Church's teaching on chastity really know this...We are called to chastity according to our state in life and as Jesus said so simply "if you love Me, you will keep my commandments." I pray that you will realize that a chaste man--even a 45 yo virgin--is far from "pitiful" and many women on here are hoping to find such a man!

I agree with the other ladies that I would not consider a man who is unrepentant about having premarital sex. I would, however, respond politely and tell him.

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Albert-964084 said: Thanks for your answer. I do believe that people should be married and have a healthy relationship but ...
(Quote) Albert-964084 said: Thanks for your answer. I do believe that people should be married and have a healthy relationship but God didn't the same plan for everyone. I have wanted to be married w kids since my teens but it just didn't happen that way. Nothing is more pitiful than a 45 yo virgin, I'm here to live life w what God gave me. It doesn't mean that's all I want, I want marriage but if it doesn't happen, I won't be waiting around not to ever express love the way I choose even if my priest doesn't approve. It's not for everyone but being catholic isn't about listening to your priest but about listening to God through your heart.
--hide--

I am not trying to mean so please do not see it this way but I have to be blunt based on your statements above. A man who thinks like you would NEVER EVER capture my interest and probably would not do so for many women on this site. Most of us are here because we are looking for a Catholic man living out his faith. I understand if that is not how you feel but if you are seeking on a site like CM and want honest feedback here it is. Most of us can meet men like you in the secular world and are not interested in them and so join CM for the purpose of finding a man who believes and actively follows the Church's teaching or is at least trying to do so.

Your statements here are not doing you any favors and actually are probably hurting your chances even more. ( Again being honest and blunt) I also want to challenge you that it is not the priests that set the rules but God and they are there to guide and lead us in persona Christi. Please do not say that God who has clearly stated His position on ex-marital sex is leading you to fornicate. Please do not say that about our God. He is all loving and encouraging you to fornicate would not be a loving thing to do.

Again apologies for the bluntness but you did ask for feedback so there you have it.

May 11th 2013 new

Believe me, I don't want to be insulting or hurt you, but that just won't fly on a Catholic singles site. I suspect most women here would be creeped out if they get a message and see that in your profile; they'll figure your intentions aren't good.

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Albert-964084 said: Thanks for your answer. I do believe that people should be married and have a healthy relationship but ...
(Quote) Albert-964084 said: Thanks for your answer. I do believe that people should be married and have a healthy relationship but God didn't the same plan for everyone. I have wanted to be married w kids since my teens but it just didn't happen that way. Nothing is more pitiful than a 45 yo virgin, I'm here to live life w what God gave me. It doesn't mean that's all I want, I want marriage but if it doesn't happen, I won't be waiting around not to ever express love the way I choose even if my priest doesn't approve. It's not for everyone but being catholic isn't about listening to your priest but about listening to God through your heart.
--hide--

Wasn't it God who passed down the law "Thou shalt not commit adultery" to Moses?

What you are proposing is listening to the great deceiver, just as Eve did in the Garden of Eden. And we know how that turned out...

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Hi Lina, it's not about why. It's strictly the argument of annulment. If still married..then sex...
(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Hi Lina, it's not about why. It's strictly the argument of annulment. If still married..then sex is allowed. Period. Married can have sex. Not married..no sex. My ex and I have a great relationship. If I was to have sex...it would only be because...I can according to the no annulment clause. Goofy.
--hide--


Considering having sex with your ex since you aren't annulled isn't really on topic for this thread. But, I think this would be a GREAT topic for you to open a thread about because I have to believe there are some on here who are deeply knowledgeable about whether being divorced, yet not annulled, means it's o.k. to have sexual relations with your ex or not. And if not, then why not.



May 11th 2013 new

I have zero interest in any contact, sexual or not, with my ex. If he were such a nice guy, I would still be married to him.

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